Burnt
by jessxreality
Summary: The hot new surfer. The shy girl. The hated jerk. His best friend. The flirty girl. A crush. Or six. An English assignment. A party. Three weeks. High school, right?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer – Everything in this story is mine. Characters, places, etc. So, no stealing please. Also, if anything in this story seems to relate to anything real life event or someone else's story, that is purely coincidental (I don't plagiarise – it goes against everything I stand for in writing).

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1

**Finn – Monday **

New school. One of eight. I am so over doing this whole process.

Dad said that we would stay in Melbourne for my last two years of school but I doubt it. I am sure his work will uproot my whole family again and move us half way across the country. That is just what happens when you are an Army Brat. And my mum is over it too. I can tell. I wouldn't be surprised if she divorced my dad this weekend.

I took a breath and looked at the new school before me. With the black wire fence it looks a little like a prison. If they put barbed wire at the top I swear we would all be going in wearing orange uniforms, not the navy blue one I am currently dressed in. Dad had already gone to work and Mum had to drop off my little sisters at the local primary school so I was on my own. Kayla – my Year 8 sister – had already found some friends and left me.

I walked into the school and followed the signs to the office. I was a week late in the new school year because I had to help unpack and set up the house. I had already come to the school before though to put in my subjects. I was in 11D. I talked to the office lady and she handed me my timetable.

My first class was homeroom. Also my English class. I was in C2. I had to stop and ask a small kid where C2 was. He jumped when I called out to him, as if he was scared I was going to punch him. He pointed me in the right direction and I soon found the room.

When I entered no one even stirred. They just kept talking about their weekend or homework or whatever. No one even paid the slightest attention to me. I didn't mind. I hated having the spotlight on me every time I started a new school.

I walked to the teacher, pointed out my name on the roll and found a seat. The only one left happened to be in between a really tall guy and dark haired girl. Even though they were sitting a seat apart, they seemed to be talking. Or not talking, arguing.

"Josh, _pah – leeze _just get over your self," the girl said.

"As if you can talk, _Isabelle_," the guy called Josh responded.

"Err… you mind if I sit here?" I asked. Both Isabelle and Josh looked at me and nodded simultaneously.

"Thank you," another girl sitting next to Isabelle said. "I am so sick of those two whining."

"I wasn't whining," Isabelle huffed.

"Yeah, right," the other girl responded with an eye roll. "I'm Rachael."

"Finn," I answered. Rachael smiled. She had a kind face and nice smile framed by dark blonde hair and bright hazel eyes. She had tanned skin and really straight teeth. But I could see the, even if very faint, tell tale braces marks. She was thin but kinda scrawny. And she had bright pink fake nails on.

"Where are you from?" Rachael asked.

"Err… Perth," I said.

"Is your Dad in the Army?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "How did you know?"

"Just guessed," she said easily. "How are you finding Melbourne?"

"Well, I was born here, but we moved up to Canberra when I was three, so I kinda grew up there. Then there was Adelaide, Melbourne, Perth, Sydney, Canberra again then Perth again. Finally I have ended up here. Again," I told her.

"Wow," she said. "I feel for you. You got any siblings?"

"Yeah, three little sisters," I answered.

"Now I really feel for you," Rachael laughed. "I have two little sisters and that is bad enough." I laughed too. "This is Isabelle," she said tapping her friend on the smile. Isabelle turned to me and gave me a quick smile before her sulky face returned. Isabelle had long wavy chocolate brown hair and soft blue eyes. She had pale skin, but no freckles so it was kinda pretty. She was slim and tall but not overly beautiful. "And on the other side of no man's land is Josh."

"Hi," Josh said with a nod. Josh was really tall. I could tell even though he was sitting. He looked lanky, but I could tell he was strong. He had lightish skin, but at the moment he had a tan. And there were a few very light, almost unnoticeable, freckles on his nose. His hair was black and his eyes were a deep green. It might sound like I am describing Harry Potter but this guy was actually really good looking. And he definitely had the boyish-charming-I-am-so-cute-and-all-the-girls-love-me look down pat.

"What subjects are you taking?" Rachael asked, turning my attention back to her.

"Err…" I looked back down to my timetable to remind myself. "Physics, Woodwork, Maths Methods, Maths Specialist, English and English Lit."

"Load it up, hey?" Rachael said. I just shrugged. I was never all that great at school, and I figured I will do the work but I am not all that fussed with what mark I get. What ever I get, I get, and I will see what happens from there. My dad was always hassling me to have a plan, but I didn't even know what I liked yet. All my mum's advice was, 'what ever you do, don't join the Army. And most of all, don't marry one'. I had laughed when she said this, but then realised she was totally serious.

"What about you?"

"English, English Lit, Art, Health and Human Development and French. I want to learn to speak French fluently so I can live in France."

"Rach, do you know how hard French is?" Isabelle asked. "You can't just learn it at high school. You need to study it at Uni." Rachael ignored this comment and turned back to me.

"I've already started saving. I'm going to get a job teaching English over there. But I'll have to get a teaching degree first."

"You seem very organised," I told her.

"No, I just want to live in France," she laughed. Just then the bell rang to go to class rang. "What do you guys have?" Rachael asked Isabelle, Josh and me.

"I have Maths," Isabelle said with a groan.

"Physics," Josh said looking at his timetable.

"English Lit," I said.

"Me too," Rachael said bouncing out of her chair. "We're in the same class. Great. I'll see you guys later." She gave a quick wave to Isabelle and Josh and left with me following in her dust.

**Isabelle – Monday**

"What did you think of Finn?" Rachael asked me at recess.

"He seemed nice," I said, picking out the apricot pieces of my muesli bar.

"He's smart," she said.

"Yeah?" I answered preoccupied with getting out the dried apricot without losing any of the chocolate.

"You should have heard the things he said in English Lit. He is really deep," Rach said.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Do you like him?"

"No, I still like Will," she sighed. "If only he would ask me out."

"Seriously," I said, giving up on my muesli bar and just taking a bite. I could still taste the apricot flavour anyway. "Why you even like Will is totally beyond me. He is a stuck up idiot. With no brains. You should have heard him in Maths. You know what he said? 'I hate algebra. When am I ever going to use it in real life? I know the speed my car goes, what else do I need?' Oh my God. I really wanted to punch him in the head for that comment. But Josh got to him first."

"But Will is sweet," Rach said. I just shook my head. Stef then joined us with Kiara following. Stef was part of our group. We kinda had a group. There were four of us. Me, I was kinda the tag along. The last to join the group. Then there was Rach and Stef. They were best friends. Rach was sort of the leader. Then there was Kiara. She was best friends with Stef. Our whole friendship group was weird. Rach was the leader, Stef the go-between, Ki was the spoilt one (as much as I hate to say it, but she was a youngest child) and I was the tag along. I kind of felt I never really fitted in with my friends. They were all kind of laid back and just floated along in life. Drifters. I was different. I refused to be a drifter. I knew what I wanted and had a plan. Rach joked about going to France but other than that she didn't really have a plan at all. I could connect with each girl sometimes but most of the time I just… well, tagged along.

"Hey guys," Stef said, sausage roll in hand. "You seen the new guy?"

"Yeah, I have English Lit with him," Rach said.

"He is in our homeroom," I told her.

"He was hot," Ki said. "If you are into the surfie thing."

"Yeah," I said. And that was when Josh walked past. Let me explain the deal with Josh. In Year 7 he asked me out. On the bottom basketball courts he got one of his friends, Jake, to ask me out for him. I had said no. I still remember Jake coming up to me and asking me out for him and looking in the corner of the basketball courts to see Josh's lanky, freckly form. Even then he was the tallest in the year level.

Since then I hadn't spoken to him. Until two years ago. Year 9. And I have to say, Josh got kind of got hot. He grew muscles and his freckles faded into a light tan. I was put in his class and then paired up to do a science project. He was dead against me. I think he was still a little embarrassed about Year 7. Just get over it. I didn't care anymore. Apparently he did. Anyway, we totally clashed. Everything I said, he would argue. Our topic, the colour of the poster, the content. Everything! It was such a pain.

And by the end of the year we hated each other. The last year I was put in his grade again. Guess what? We still hated each other. We fought almost every day. People got so pissed at us. And this year I was put in his homeroom and English class. Not to mention I also had Chemistry and Maths Specialist with him. I mean come on. The only difference in or timetables was that I did Math methods when he had Physics and when I did Psychology he had Maths Methods. It was nine kinds of annoying. Anyway, as he walked past he tugged at the bottom of my dress. I spun around and said,

"Oh, just lay off would you?"

"Why? When I can annoy you?" he said smugly. A few of his friends giggled. I rolled my eyes.

"No one wants you here," Rach said to him. This time it was Josh who rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he muttered and turned to leave.

"Jerk," I said under my breath.

"Can we go to the canteen?" Stef asked.

"Seriously Stef, if you keep eating Mars Bars the way you do you will end up fat," Rach joked. We all looked at her stick-like figure and laughed. With that we headed off to the canteen together.

"You know who got hot this year?" Ki said. "Liam."

"You think?" I asked.

"Yeah," Rach said. "He sort of did. He got a better hair cut and toned up a bit." And this was how out recess continued until the bell went. I had Psychology, so I moved off alone, finding people I knew on the way. When I got to class with Reese and Nina – just some friends from previous years – we found a bench and faced the teacher. Finn wandered into class a little late, but the teacher let him off, being his first day. He sat next to me.

"Isabelle, right?"

"Yeah. Finn?"

"Yeah," he said and claimed the seat next to me. Finn was good looking. Average height, just taller than me, blonde hair, blue eyes, dark skin and good body. He definitely had the laid-back surfie look about him. After the teacher had started the lesson, I took a chance to talk to Finn.

"So, how are you liking the school?" I asked.

"It's alright. Just the same as the other eight really," he said.

"Eight? Wow," I said.

"Yep, my schooling has definitely been extensive," he smiled at me. He had a nice smile. Kind of crooked, one sided. I smiled back. I felt bad for being sulky this morning. But Josh was being a pain and I was annoyed.

"Where were you before Melbourne?"

"Perth."

"Yeah? What was it like up there?"

"I went to a smaller school and I lived about two seconds away from the beach. I was a lifesaver up there actually. And every weekend I would go surfing. I loved it." That is obviously where he got his surfy look from.

"Lifesaver?" I asked, impressed.

"Yeah," he nodded thoughtfully. "First aid training, rescue techniques, surf awareness, just general stuff like that. But there is no beach around here, so all that training is fairly useless." And I think it was there that I began liking Finn. Hey, I guess I am just a sap for a cute smile and blue eyes.

The class was slow. But with the kind of teacher I had, it was hardly surprising. When the bell went, we all got up to leave. As I collected my books Finn touched me on the arm and said,

"See ya 'round, Issy."

"Yeah, sure." Was that all I could come up with? No wonder my current boyfriend history sucks. Yeah, just another piece of info. I am crap with any guy issues. And guys in general just don't like me. It doesn't really bother me much anymore, but I would like a real boyfriend some time in my life. As I left the classroom I just had to crash into the ever-tall Josh. My books went flying and I tripped over a small step.

"I am so sorry," Josh gushed. He hadn't recognised me. I looked up at him and his face changed. "Oh, it is you."

"Gee, thanks, Josh," I said sarcastically.

**Josh – Monday **

"Aren't you just a happy chappie today?" I said to Issy as she hunched over her books that were sprawled all over the floor. He he.

"I can not believe you just said _happy chappie_," Isabelle shot back. She began to pick herself up; shoving books hastily back into her arms. I leant against the near wall, boks in my arms, and watched over her. She finally stood up, chocolate brown hair messy and out of control. "Thanks for all the help," she said sarcastically.

"I have a back problem," I said with a mock shrug.

"Yeah, probably from having to hold up all the weight of your huge ego," she said icily.

"Touché," I said, impressed. "But, really, my ego isn't nearly as big as the pimple hidden under your fringe."

"Jerk-off."

"Drama queen."

"Tool."

"Nerd."

"All right you two," Jake – one of my mates – said moving in between us. Then he turned to me. "How am I ever supposed to get Issy to fall for me when you keep calling her names?" This was a long running joke between Jake and I. Jake was constantly pretending to be in love with Isabelle and I hated her. I am not sure how this worked but it seemed too. I laughed and Jake cracked a grin.

"Ugh," Issy said with a frustrated sigh and spun around. As she walked quickly down the hall Jake called out,

"Call me!" Then he and I fell into hysterics.

Last period of the day. Thank God. I cannot wait to get home and jump in the pool. I totally love summer, but I hate having to go to school during it. Why waste time inside when it is awesome outside? I was kind of known for skipping classes during the summer. I walk into the English classroom a little late. Okay, very late. I was busy. Well, not really. Just dawdling. I scanned the room for a seat and there was only one table left. It was empty, but it could have been worse. I could have been stuck with–

"Sorry I'm late," Isabelle burbled as she entered the classroom. I grinded my teeth. This had to be a joke. She looked over the classroom and noticed the only seat left was next to me. I saw her stiffen, then walk to my table. She almost slammed her books down as she sat and gave me a deathly stare.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault," I whispered. She just rolled her eyes and began to organise her stuff.

"Today," Mr Carlile began. "I am going to start something new. It will be a partner exercise and you will work on it for the next ten weeks. Each Friday you will have time to work on it. But the rest of it will need to be done outside of the classroom. The task is to take an act of your choice of _Macbeth_ and translate it into modern English. Not only that but I want it written in a movie script format. This will need to include description of images of the 'movie' and chosen backing music. You may have fun with this, but essentially, it is your interpretation of the play. You may even choose actors you think would fit the parts if you wish. You may change names, but only to an extent that they are still recognisable. The story must not change and the dialogue has to match. I understand some of the things said are not relevant, politically incorrect or not suited for our times and you are allowed to change those parts of the script. It must be like you are trying to write a real movie script. And this will be one of your assessment tasks so there will be no slacking off."

My jaw dropped. I knew Mr Carlile was famous for loading his students up with homework but this was insane. How much work did he want to give us? "And, I will be choosing the pairs so they are suitable." I groaned.

"Stop whining," Isabelle told me.

"What? You like this?"

"I actually think this could be fun. I already have a few ideas."

"You are insane."

"You know, not all of us are as close-minded as you," Isabelle said shooting me a look.

"Close minded? I am not close-minded. I am a very deep thinker."

"Sure," Isabelle said sarcastically. "As deep as a puddle." I frowned and gave a huff.

"These are the pairs could you please move together when I call the names. And I do not want any whinging. These names are final," Mr Carlile said reading off a sheet. "Jake and Rachael. Finn and Hayley. Isabelle and Josh. Ethan and Kia. Liam and Martin." I am sure the names kept going but I was in too much shock to register anything. Isabelle and Josh. Isabelle and Josh. This was beyond a nightmare.

"Did you hear that?" Isabelle asked, mouth hanging open.

"No. No. No," I moaned. Isabelle's hand shot in the air.

"Yes, Isabelle?" Mr Carlile asked.

"We have a slight problem with the pairings," she said.

"What would that be?" Mr Carlile asked smugly.

"We hate each other!" I burst out. Issy shot me a look. I ignored her.

"I know," Mr Carlile nodded with a smile. "That is why this should work so well. There will be no swaps."

"Great," Issy muttered angrily. I hate my life.

R+R please - dieing for reviews - i need to know if you want me to continue.


	2. Chapter 2

2

**2**

**Finn – Monday **

I walked in my front door tiredly.

"How was your first day?" Mum asked from the kitchen table.

"Err… just the same really."

"You know I am sorry about this, don't you?"

"It's not your fault," I said with a sigh.

"No, but I am still sorry," Mum said. I shrugged and made my way to my room. I shut the door, put my bag on the floor and turned on a CD. I already had so much homework. And that Macbeth thing was going to be hard. Although Hayley is nice, and pretty smart. I am just glad I got paired up with some one I liked. They way Josh and Isabelle were bickering all through class was almost funny. Someone knocked on my door and I turned my music down.

"Come in."

"Hey Finn." It was Georgia. She was my favourite sister. Even though she was only in Grade 6 she was way too bright for it. "How was your first day at school?"

"Just school. You?"

"Well, I was teased by some girls with short skirts and even shorter morals. Obviously thinking they are older than they are because they had so much make up on I was sure it was mask when I first saw them. But I do feel for them. They evidently have self esteem issues. Then some boy who apparently liked me threw a tennis ball at my head. But that is primary school for you," she sighed. See what I mean. Way too smart to be in Grade 6. She is even questioning our current society and their values. I didn't even know what society was in Grade 6.

"Oh, good," I said, not really knowing how to answer.

"Average, I would say. So, any nice girls?"

"You do know normal teen guys don't talk to their Grade 6 sisters about the girls they think are hot?"

"Yeah, but who said you are a normal teen guy?"

"Gee, thanks," I said sarcastically.

"I meant it in a good way," Georgia said, unfazed.

"Well, I am sorry to tell you that I am not really interested in anyone," I answered. But, I wasn't sure. Rachael was really nice, but I didn't really think I would ever see her as anything more than a friend. Though Isabelle? She was nice, but a little shy. She wasn't overly gorgeous but she wore her looks well. She only had a tiny bit of make-up on and never over did things with her hair or clothes. And there was no getting around the fact that she had a good body.

"Well, when you find someone I have to meet her."

"Look, I am not about to propose anytime soon, Georgia," I said.

"Yeah, well I am going to start my homework. Bye, Finn."

"Bye."

School again. School always. Have you ever noticed that school seems to always be in you life. Either you are going soon, or have just been, or are going back. Isn't there a time where there is no school? I stepped into my homeroom on time this morning. I saw Rachael and Isabelle sitting together and found a seat next to Isabelle. Josh was sitting on the other side of the room with a guy called Jake. Apparently they were best friends. Josh and Jake. Jake and Josh. Sounded like a little kids TV show.

"Hey Finn," Rachael piped up.

"Hi," Isabelle said.

"Hey," I replied to both of them.

"You coming to the shops after school?" Rachael asked Isabelle.

"Sure, but I have to be home by six," Issy answered.

"Sure," Rachael said. "You want to join us Finn?"

"Err… sure. Why not?" I answered caught slightly off guard. I saw Issy smile and give Rachael a small, almost unnoticeable, punch under the table. Was I missing something? The bell rang and we all moved away for our separate classes. I had Maths Spec. Apparently Josh and Isabelle were also in the class. Those two were unbelievable. They had chosen the same subjects and virtually had the same timetable. They fought the whole way up to the classroom. Only parting when Issy sat in the middle row with me and Josh sat at the back. The weird thing was, Josh kept looking at Issy. I saw him do it throughout class. Those two were weird beyond belief. It was halfway through the class when I got totally stuck on a question and needed to ask Issy for help.

"Hey Is," I whispered. "Have you done number thirteen?"

"Yeah," she looked up at me.

"I really need help."

"Sure," she smiled and leant over. I could smell her. It smelt like a faint soap and raspberry shampoo. I tried to concentrate on what she was saying but she leant a little far and I could see down her slightly unbuttoned dress. I straightened up and startled Isabelle. "You alright?" she asked with a slightly amused look on her face.

"Yeah, sorry can you go over that again?" I asked. And I kept my eyes glued to the numbers in front of me.

"Got it?" Isabelle asked when she had done explaining.

"Yeah, thanks." I have no idea what you are talking about, I thought in my head. Then Isabelle continued on with her work. I am not sure if it was because I was totally shallow or because Isabelle was really nice to me, but I think I fell for her then.

**Isabelle – Tuesday **

"We are doing Act 1. It sets the scene, introduces the characters and gives opportunity to put in a title and credits."

"Nah, Act five is more interesting. There are fight scenes and Macbeth dies," Josh said typing something into Google and pressing enter. I rolled my eyes.

"Do you know how many movies have been made on Macbeth?"

"I don't know, Josh? But since it is _so_ relevant, please, tell me," I said in mock excitement.

"Heaps, and a whole lot are modern day versions. Although not as many in English," Josh said, clicking a few times. "But enough to have a movie night." Josh grinned.

"We are not stealing ideas," I said throwing Josh a look.

"It isn't stealing… it is just… research," he shrugged. I gave him a blank look. "Oh, come on. This assignment is hard."

"Duh," I said. "Why do you think Mr Carlile set it? Just for a bit of fun?"

"You know there is a Josh Trent in England who saved a young girl from drowning after falling from a cruiser in 1998?"

"Since I spend so much time typing in your name into Google, I would say… no," I answered.

"Did you know there is an Isabelle Travis, who is a cryogenics specialist in England and is currently trying to get around the ethical and religious issues of freezing someone?"

"Yeah, and no doubt every other cryogenics specialist is too," I muttered.

"And there is an author named Isabel Travis. Except it is spelt without the L and E on the end. And she writes romantic novels. From the titles I would say they are pretty bad too. General Love – an enthralling story of a young photographer winning the love of an Army officer. A dramatic story of love, sex and passion. Wow. I think I already know what the story line is just from the title. Yuck." Josh shivered and spun his chair to face me.

"You do know the only reason I am stuck in the library at lunch with you is to do research. So could you please stop searching my name and try to do some work."

"Hey, I looked up Macbeth in IMDB," Josh said defensively.

"What is IMDB?"

"You don't know it? Internet Movie Data Base. It has almost every known movie and actor you can think of. How can you not know IMDB?"

"I guess I don't spend all my time looking up actors I think are hot."

"Hey," Josh said. "I am researching."

"You think I didn't see the rather large picture of Angelina Jolie in what looked suspiciously like a Lara Croft outfit. Only it was slightly torn around the bust area. You know what? I think the photographers may have done that on purpose!" I said in mock outrage.

"Where did you get you sarcasm from? Tell me, was it from a family member or has it always festered just outside of your reach until I showed up in your life to release it?"

"Oh Josh, don't tell me you thought you made me like this? How cute. But sorry, my sarcasm was instilled long before you came along," I said acidly.

"Ahh, by who? Annoying siblings? A previous love?" Josh raised his eyebrows in a joking way.

"I don't know. You tell me," I said icily. Josh shrugged and turned back to his computer.

"I have something!" he suddenly exploded.

"Unless it is something relevant, I am really not interested," I said tiredly.

"Oh, I think you might be," Josh laughed. He turned the computer slightly so I could see the screen. I felt my gut clench. It was a picture of a young girl in a tight shiny leotard, dancing ribbon in hand and medal around her neck. "You never told me you did ribbon dancing," Josh laughed. I grabbed the mouse and quickly pressed X. The window disappeared.

"Firstly, it wasn't ribbon dancing. It was callisthenics. And secondly, why you would think I would ever tell you anything even the slightest bit personal, I don't know."

"But you did win a medal for ribbon dancing," Josh said, clutching his stomach as he laughed.

"You know what? I am sick of this. I am getting some lunch. If you need me I am busy," I said logging off my computer and gathering my stuff. Josh was still laughing.

We got off the crowded bus and I felt like I could breathe again. God, I hated buses. The five of us, Rach, Ki, Stef, Finn and I all walked to the food court, bags on our backs, still in uniform just like every other teen in the shopping centre. We went straight to KFC and ordered our usual. We found our favourite table and sat systematically. It was what we always did when we came to the shopping centre. Finn sat with me and Rach winked at me. How embarrassing? After we had finished our junk food we all moved off. Finn and I stayed together just talking. We didn't really mean to, it just happened. And then, we had lost the others. Of course, they had run off on us. Ha, ha, very funny guys. Not that I minded all that much. Finn and I ended up sitting in a play ground opposite the complex.

"So, what is the story with you and Josh?" Finn asked out of the blue.

"He hates me because I rejected him," I said. I didn't mean to sound so mean, but it just came out that way.

"Well, I guess I would be a little depressed if you rejected me too," Finn said with a smile. I felt myself blush and I looked away. Did he like me? Was this a hint? We were sitting close. I could easily just take his hand. No. Wasn't I meant to play hard to get? I looked to Finn. His blonde hair looked wind blown and really hot. His blue eyes gazed into mine and I smiled. He began to lean forward as if to kiss me. Was this for real? Too bad he got interrupted. A ball flew in between us and we both straightened up. That was so unfair. Finn got up and threw the ball back to where it came from. He looked at his watch and reached out. I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet. I gave him and smile and said,

"I guess I should go."

"Yeah, I should get going too," Finn nodded. "You take the five-one-seven bus?"

"Yes," I said.

"Great." And we both made our way to the bus stop. Finn was surprisingly easy to talk to, and there were never any awkward pauses. Just easy. God, he was so nice. And really hot. I looked at his arms, the way his muscles flexed when he swung his bag from one shoulder to the other. I am such a sap.

**Josh – Tuesday **

Was that Isabelle? With Finn? What a laugh.

"Hey Jake," I called as he kicked the footy to me. "Look at that." I pointed to where Finn and Isabelle were sitting. "Watch this." Then I booted the footy across the oval. Oh, so close. It whizzed straight past them both. Jake and I began laughing. Finn got up and threw the ball back. He didn't recognise us, but he was a good throw. "Let's go to my place," I said turning my back on Isabelle and Finn. "We can have a swim."

"Yeah, sure," Jake answered and we made for the bus stop. As we got there the bus had just arrived. We jumped on, talking loudly just to annoy everyone, and walked towards the back. But it was taken. Finn and Isabelle. They sat next to each other, talking, but they seemed shy. As if they both wanted each other, yet both to frigid to go for it. What a joke. Jake and I found seats in the middle of the bus, across the isle from a group of pretty private school girls. Of course, Jake was going to go for it. He was a bit of a player. Just his style. He dropped something and stood as if he was going to pick it up, then as the bus lurched to a start, he fell into the group of girls.

"I am so sorry," he gushed. "I… I just… I didn't mean to. Are you all okay? I didn't hurt anyone?" He sounded gracious and very chivalrous, as per usual, and his drop-dead good looks helped. I swear, girls swooned with just one smile. Pathetic, if you ask me. And so, the conversation was started. Jake talked himself up and cooed about how nice the girls were. They giggled and swooned. Then I hear,

"We were just going for a swim. Would you girls like to join us?"

"You know, I think that is a bad idea," I said to Jake. Especially since it was my pool. Thanks for the warning.

"Why not?" Jake asked.

"The girls probably don't have their bathers," I offered.

"But we had our swimming carnival today, we all have our bathers and swimming gear," a red head said to me. Great. Just what I needed. Four girls coming to my house to fall all over Jake while I get yelled at by my mother. Fantastic. Really. Save me! I gave Jake a look and he just said,

"It will be fun." And the girls giggled. Great. Just great.

I watched at the four Private School Gigglers undressed in my back yard. Why did they have to be here? Why did Jake have to invite them? Why was I friends with Jake? PSG #1 was all over Jake, and he was all over her. PSG #2 and #3 were just mucking around in the pool. PSG #4 got out of the pool and sauntered over to me.

"Hey," she said and sat in the swing chair next to me. "You seem annoyed. This your house?"

"Yeah," I muttered angrily.

"I'm Sophie," PSG #4 told me.

"Josh," I said and looked at her. She was pretty. Short, with long blonde hair and pretty brown eyes. She had a hard face and sharp smile. This was the smile of a girl who got her way. She had a good body and knew how to flaunt it. Her bikini barely covered her as she stretched out her mile long legs in front of me, showing off her tanned skin. I watched as a drop of water slid sleekly down a tanned shoulder and fell onto her smooth stomach.

"Your friend invited us to your house without permission?"

"Something like that."

"Gee, I am sorry. If we knew. You should have said something," she said with a beautiful smile. "We could go if you wanted…" This was an obvious flirt. Too bad I was so pissed off at Jake. Still, Sophie was hot.

"No," I said and touched her arm. "Why would I want a beautiful girl like you to leave?" I flirted. Sophie gave a sweet smile and leaned a shoulder closer to me.

"You don't have a girlfriend do you? Is that why you are annoyed?" Sophie took her hair and wrung it out, leaning over the swing, so I could get a full view of her back.

"No, no girlfriend," I said, answering her blatant scope on whether I had a girlfriend or not. I knew how to play this game too. "But your boyfriend must be annoyed you are here…"

"I don't have a boyfriend," Sophie played.

"No way," I said. "I am not going to believe that. How could you not have a boyfriend?"

"Well, I go to an all girls school," Sophie said with a sad look on her face. I wondered how many times she had used this little spiel. "So the only guys I meet are on the bus. And they are usually scungy."

"You met me on the bus," I said.

"And you are the first who hasn't been either all over me or completely ignored me. You were just… nice." She was serious as she said this. Perhaps I was a little bit more than just a guy to flirt with.

"I go to a co-ed, but well… just because I get to be in class with girls doesn't mean anything." I had to think of Isabelle. God, she is annoying.

"Yeah, is there a story in there?" Sophie asked.

"You have no idea," I said. "This girl asked me out in Year 7. Ages ago. We were twelve. I rejected her, then I got put in her class, and she won't get over it. She hates me now, and I have to do a project with her this term. Annoying." Okay, that wasn't strictly true. Sure, it was me who had been rejected, but I wasn't about to tell Sophie that.

"Very petty," Sophie agreed. Yeah, I guess that is true. I had been petty. But, too late now. "But then, I guess I would be depressed if you rejected me too."

"Who said I would every reject you?" I said in a deep voice. Sophie smiled at me.

"Want to jump in the pool?" she asked.

"Sure."

"She wanted you bad," Jake said to me after the girls had left. We were sitting in my room after dinner. "See, was it so bad I invited them over? And you got a number."

"When do I call her?" I asked. Jake was an expert in the chick field.

"You have to wait a little. I would send her a txt tonight. Maybe a joke or something related to today. Then tomorrow you send a message and ask her out on Friday. It is Tuesday today, so if you ask her out on Wednesday, it will give her two days to reply. Perfect. If she says yes, then suddenly cancels, it means she wants you and try again. If she cancels twice, leave it alone. If she says no from the start and gives you a reason, I would ask her out again. If she cancels again she is not interested. If she says no and gives you no reason, she's not interested. If it is yes, and yes, then play it cool on the date. Don't fall all over her, but don't act completely uninterested. And be gracious. Don't talk about yourself too much."

"How many girls have been through to get that info?"

"Enough," Jake said with a smile. I shook my head with a laugh.

"And what happens when you actually fall for a girl you want to keep?"

"I guess I will just play it by ear," Jake shrugged.

"Right," I said. "Is there a girl you might actually want to keep?"

"I… I don't know," Jake shrugged.

"Hey, mate, I am your best friend. Go."

"Well, you can't laugh." Jake looked at me.

"Sure, I won't laugh."

"And the thing is, I don't know how to act around her, because we have just joked and I can't do what I usually do."

"Okay, are you going to tell me or not?"

"Isabelle," Jake said softly. My eyes widened. And I laughed.

"Isabelle! You like Isabelle!"

"You said you wouldn't laugh," Jake grumbled.

"Sorry mate… but Isabelle."

"See what I mean. How am I supposed to act around her when I am only a joke to her? I tried to get her to notice me on the bus, but she was talking to Finn." Oh, now I see. I had forgotten about Isabelle on the bus. I guess Jake hadn't. I couldn't believe I had never even noticed. "And I hoped we would get paired up on this project so I could show her I am not just a joke. But you got paired with her."

"Sorry mate. If I could swap, I would."

"Yeah, I know. But I need your help. Do you think you could get an…. indication of what she thinks of me?"

"Dude, Isabelle hates me, remember?"

"Yeah, but surely there is some time when you aren't bickering. Just try?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll try."


	3. Chapter 3

Finn – Wednesday

**Finn – Wednesday **

My head dropped slowly, but I pulled myself back into the class. I shook my head and looked at the board. The words really weren't making sense.

"Are you okay?" Isabelle asked me in a hushed tone.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Just tired." Yeah, well, that was a lie. My head was so clogged I felt like someone had stuffed a cloud into my ears. My ears were bleary and my mouth didn't work. Not to mention the splitting headache that seemed to hate sunlight. Oh yeah, and I had English. English with Josh and Isabelle, sitting on either side of me. Great fun. Really. Sure, I had no problem with Isabelle. Well, okay, I liked her. But when you mix Josh and Isabelle, it is like putting gunpowder in fire. Oh yes, a very large explosion, with a few spitting fires left in its wake. Truly something spectacular, as long as you aren't caught in the middle.

"He's sick Is, just leave him alone," Josh said.

"If he is sick he should go home," Isabelle said with a concerned look on her face.

"There is just lunch and two more periods after this. I can cope. I am fine," I told her.

"Are you sure? You don't look that good. Well, I mean, you do look good… but you know, you look sick. Errr…. I mean… erm… But you still look good, just not well…" Issy blubbered.

"Issy, shut-up. You are embarrassing yourself," Josh said. Isabelle shot Josh a filthy look and said to me,

"Really, if you feel sick, just go home."

"I can't. There is no one to sign me out. Mum is coming after school but other than that she is out all day. Either way, I am stuck here."

"I am sure Issy won't mind that," Josh muttered under his breath. Isabelle either ignored the comment, or didn't hear it. I did though. It may be a little pathetic, but I kind of got a little jolt. Did Issy like me? Although, Josh wasn't exactly the best judge on Isabelle's feelings. The bell rang for lunch and I got up slowly, head spinning. I so shouldn't even be at school.

"You alright?" Isabelle asked.

"Yeah. Fine," I said and tried to get out of there as soon as possible. I hope Isabelle didn't take offence to it, but I felt like crap. I found refuge in the library. I know it sounds nerdy, but it was quiet and I was able to sit in a study booth, head in hands, until the bell rang for the last two periods. I had Maths Spec and English Lit. Oh great. I get the next instalment of the Issy and Josh saga, as well as the low down on Rach's crush on Will. Great. Just great.

"What is the deal with Issy?" I asked Rach out of the blue in Eng Lit.

"Err… what do you mean?"

"I don't know… does she have a boyfriend… or a… err… crush?"

"No boyfriend. And lets just say the crush… swings in your favour."

"Really?" I asked perhaps with a little too much excitement.

"But, you didn't hear it from me. She would kill me," Rach muttered, turning back to her work.

"Sure. I won't say anything." Hey, who cares? Issy likes me. But what do I do? Ask her out? Or would that be too sudden? Maybe I should wait a little. But what if she thinks I am not interested and stops liking me? Girls are way too annoying. "What about her and Josh?" I asked.

"Ha, those two are so annoying. Hated each other forever. I think they just like hating each other. It is kind of like a competition. Then there is Jake."

"Jake?"

"Jake stirs her up too. It is all was too confusing for me," Rach laughed. "I just leave those three alone."

"Sure," I said absent-minded.

"Hey, what was this bit?" Rachael asked pointing at a paragraph in our Lit novel.

"Umm, it is a metaphor for the husband and wife's relationship with each other and with the other couple. The other couple are loud, spontaneous and fight all the time but the wife, even though she thinks it is dirty, wants her relationship to be like that. She wants more to the relationship than the mediocre one that she has with her husband."

"Right," Rachael nodded. "You are really good at all this stuff, you know?"

"Err… sure, thanks," I shrugged. My head was still clogged and I still felt like crap. Only one more period, I had to keep reminding myself. One more period then I can go home.

I don't really feel any better today. Really. But I went to school anyway. Why? I don't really know. Was it to see Isabelle? Am I really that lame? I am not sure. Mum offered for me to take the day off. But I was stupid and said I would go. Oh well. Too late. I am already in homeroom. I was sitting with Hayley. I like Hayley. She was a short girl with glasses, and a little weird, but still, she was cool. Interesting to talk to. She liked _Catcher In The Rye_ and knew a little too much about _The Beatles_. But she was interesting. And she didn't really care about what others thought of her. I thought she would be the kind of girl who would spend most of her lunchtimes in the library. But apparently not. She actually has a lot of friends. And I had made some friends from homeroom. I was friends with Isabelle and Rachael. And… well, I knew Josh and Jake. But I had made friends with some of the guys in the class. There was Ethan, Liam and Martin. They were nice guys, a little nerdy, but funny. Ethan was cool. He was obsessed with cars. Give him a year and he will tell you his favourite car and what engine it has. Liam was funny and laid back. He liked heavy metal grunge music and always had his iPod in his ears. Martin was… well… a little dim. Nice, but dim. He said he wanted to be a mechanic and fix up motorcycles but his parents wouldn't let him take up an apprenticeship. His father was some business manager of some important company and was making him finish school. But Martin reckoned he was still going to open up his own mechanic shop whether his father liked it or not. I had said good luck to him.

"You got used to the school yet?" Ethan asked me at recess.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You seen Sock-Tuck yet?" Martin sniggered.

"Sock-Tuck?"

"A.K.A. Mr Collins. He tucks his pants into his socks," Liam filled in.

"I have never seen the hems of his pants. Ever," Ethan laughed.

"Does he teach Health?" I asked.

"Yeah," Liam nodded.

"Yeah, I was wondering about that. I wasn't sure if that was him or a school fashion," I said with a laugh.

"Well, if he is trying to start a fashion, he certainly takes 'If at first you don't succeed, then try, try again' seriously," Ethan laughed. That was when Isabelle walked into the courtyard we were sitting at. Kiara and Stef were with her. I wasn't sure where Rach was.

"Look who it is," Liam said, punching Martin on the arm with a titter.

"Who?" I asked trying not to sound suspicious.

"Martin wants Stef," Liam said. Martin punched Liam in the arm, much harder than Liam had done to him, I might add. "Oww," Liam moaned.

"Hey guys," Kiara waved and moved towards us. "What are you up to?" She sat down of the bench next to Ethan as Stef and Isabelle followed taking up spaces on the grass. Isabelle sat next to me and Stef found a seat in between Martin and Liam.

"Not much," Ethan shrugged. "You guys heard about the party?"

"What party?" Stef asked.

"It is in three weeks. Friday. Apparently there is going to be a huge party at Stevo's place for all the Year 11s and 12s," Ethan told them.

"Sounds cool," Kiara said. It was the first I had heard about it. A party sounded fun, but I wasn't sure if Mum and Dad would be up for it just yet. Maybe if I brought it up tonight, and worked on it for the next week.

"Three weeks Friday," Stef said with a moan. "I have this family dinner thing. How come all the good parties are when I have family stuff."

"Can you get out of it?" Martin asked.

"Maybe… but anyway, I don't even think I could get there," Stef said with a sigh.

"I could give you a lift," Martin shrugged.

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Great, I will just have to get the okay from parentals now. Thanks Martin," Stef said with a smile.

"Sure," Martin said with an obvious blush.

"You going to go?" I asked Isabelle while the others talked about how they were going to get alcohol.

"I don't know," Isabelle shrugged. "I don't really like parties."

"No? Why not?" I asked, genuinely surprised.

"I am not really into the getting-drunk-until-I-throw-up-or-pass-out thing. Plus, every one just acts stupid when they are drunk and totally embarrasses themselves. So I never really have much fun."

"Oh," I said. "But if all your friends are going?"

"Well, I will see."

Isabelle – Wednesday

"The mitochondria is used for aerobic respiration. So in cells that use a lot of energy, like muscle cells, there are more mitochondria. Now, for the exam, you will need to know the chemical formula for aerobic respiration. Please write that down," Mr Trallen droned. Sure, usually I would find all this stuff interesting. But I had biology with Josh. And, even though he was sitting behind me, in a different desk, he still found a way to be extremely annoying. He, of course, found it absolutely hilarious to throw tiny bits of paper in my hair. And this guy was meant to be in Year 11. Pah- leeze. I tried to ignore it, but I felt like I was being rained on.

"Josh, would you please just stop," I pleaded.

"Stop what?" Josh asked Phi, the guy sitting next to him, lamely. I rolled my eyes, shook the paper out of my hair and faced the front of the room again. Then the paper parade began again.

"Josh!" I said a little louder.

"Oh come on," Josh said. "We are just playing."

"Josh, you know, I can't really hear you that well. You sound kind of muffled. Oh, that's right, it's because you have your head up your ass all the time. I forgot for a moment there."

"Well, at least my head isn't up someone else's," Josh said with a mock shrug.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"If you are so smart, why don't you figure it out?" Then Josh said behind a cough, "Finn."

"Asshole," I muttered and turned away. He truly was the epitome of jerk.

I walked into the Maths Spec room. My stomach did a little jump when I saw Finn. Surfie, blonde hair slightly wind blown and his beautiful blue eyes watching me. I am so lame. I hardly even know the guy. I placed my books beside him and sat.

"Hey Is," Finn said.

"Hey." After the teacher had set the class, Finn and I began talking. I liked talking to Finn. He was fun and interesting. But really laid back at the same time.

"So do you have any brothers or sisters?" he asked me suddenly.

"Yeah, I have a little brother, Cameron. He is in Year 9," I told him. And he was the 'rebellious' one. He had stupid friends and often did stupid things but most of the time it was harmless. He just liked scaring Mum. And usually it was pretty funny. But Cameron was a bit of a smart ass. And even though it was a little annoying at times, I didn't mind much. Because we were different. And I liked that.

"You get on with him?"

"Yeah, not too bad."

"What about your dad? I have heard you talk about your mum, but not your dad," Finn asked.

"He lives up in Sydney. Works up there and has another wife. I haven't really known him much of my life. He and Mum separated just after Cameron was born. He calls sometimes, but the last time he visited was years ago. I hardly remember what he looks like."

"Oh, sorry," Finn said, looking embarrassed.

"Don't be. He was never a real dad anyway. I don't even know him." It was kinda true, but come on, he was my father. I would have liked to have a Dad. Well, one that was living with us. Or near us. But now he has other kids and stuff. So sure, I would have liked a father that hadn't left his wife and two kids for another, much more swish, life in Sydney, but hey, you can't change stuff like that. It is what it is. And anyway, Mum had a steady boyfriend. He was more of a father to me that my dad ever was. His name is Ryan. He is a nice guy. Mum and Ryan have been going out for ages. Since I was ten or something. Why they aren't married yet, I don't know. But he likes Cameron and I and I know he loves my mum, and she loves him. And he was never one of those real try hard guys. He never bribed us to like him. He was just nice. He has lived with us for the last few years and has been really good to us kids. Sure, he isn't our real father, but he is cool all the same. And Cameron and I like having him around. I was happy.

"Still," Finn said.

"I am happy." I shrugged. "Hey, have you ever heard of a band called _Guster_?" I asked, just to get the conversation moving. I didn't like it being so focused on me.

"No," Finn said shaking his head. I was glad he didn't push the dad thing.

"They are so good," I said with a smile. "Seriously. I will have to burn you a CD."

"I would love that. I am running out of good music and I need to refill my iPod," Finn said, grinning. "Got any other suggestions?"

"I have some _Yellowcard _or _Diffuser_. I am also a fan of _Three Days Grace."_ And that was how the conversation continued on. Like I have said, Finn is really easy to talk to. And there were never any awkward silences. Finn was such a nice guy. And he was a lifesaver. How cool is that? I am such a sap for a guy with blue eyes and a surfboard.

"You so want him," Rach said as we were at the lockers together.

"He is nice," I shrugged.

"And you want him."

"Maybe. But he is… I don't know… not my type."

"What is your type?"

"Finn is hot and laid back. I am not like that."

"Who cares? I think he likes you."

"Really?" My heart jittered a little.

"Hey, guys," Stef said, joining us.

"Hey," Rach and I chimed.

"So are you to going to the party everyone is talking about?" she asked, taking a slurp of a coke.

"I guess," Rach said. "And you are going with Martin."

"Rach, he is just a friend," Stef said and rolled her eyes at me.

"He likes you, you know?" Rach said.

"No, he doesn't. He is just a friend," Stef said carelessly.

"Nope, he definitely wants you."

"Have you ever considered that guys and girls can just be friends, Rachael?" I joked. She looked at me, as if considering, then said with a laugh,

"Nope." We all laughed. "But, seriously, relationships between guys and girls are never mutual."

"They can be," Stef argued.

"Yeah, right. Have you ever noticed that when you are a friend with a guy, you always wonder if there could ever be more?" Rachael said.

"Not really," I said. "I have guy friends that are just friends."

"But, have you ever even thought about going out with them? Even just for a second?" Rach asked. I shrugged.

"I guess… I might have wondered… but that doesn't mean I like them," I said.

"But you still wondered. And guys are the same. There is always that thought of, perhaps. You know? Something that could have, might have, or could happen. It is always there," Rach said.

"Maybe," Stef said, considering. "But I wouldn't ever go out with someone I didn't like that way."

"But what if you actually did like them that way? You just didn't realise it until you went out with them," Rach suggested.

"What are you trying to say?" Stef laughed.

"Just don't blow Martin off without some thought. He is a nice guy," Rach said, weirdly serious.

"I guess," Stef shrugged.

**Josh – Wednesday **

"Mate, you wanna come round for a swim tonight?" I asked Jake. It was a hot day and I was totally bugging to jump in the pool.

"I can't. I have to be home to take my sis to her singing lessons."

"Singing lessons? She is only seven," I said.

"I know. It is a joke. But I guess Mum wants at least one famous kid. My older brother went into science and I was a bit of a no hoper," Jake grinned. I laughed.

"Alright, well I will think of you and your sister's singing lessons when I am in the pool," I grinned.

"Gee, thanks for your compassion," Jake laughed. He waved and then left the school car park.

"Josh," I heard a voice call out. I turned slowly.

"Yeah."

"I need to talk to you," Isabelle said, catching up to me.

"Really?" I joked. "That is a first." She just rolled her eyes.

"I think we should get together to do the assignment on Friday. After school. Maybe at my place," she said, walking next to me.

"Isabelle, I know you are a homework freak, but we have ten weeks to do this project. This is the first week."

"Yeah, but I hate leaving things to the last minute and I am not doing this project by myself," Isabelle said.

"You aren't doing it by yourself. You are doing it with me," I said to her.

"Yeah, and I won't let you dump me with a whole heap of work at the end of the term."

"Hey, would I do that?" I said with mock innocence. Isabelle gave me a stern look and I laughed.

"Please Josh. We haven't even picked the act we want to do," Isabelle pleaded.

"Did I mention the _ten weeks_?"

"Please Josh," Isabelle argued. "I am stressed out already."

"You are aware that we are only in the second week of term? And we have _ten weeks._"

"Yeah, exactly."

"You are way too uptight," I muttered.

"I just want to do well," Isabelle said defensively.

"Yeah, there is doing well, then there is you. You really need to calm down."

"I am calm," Isabelle said.

"You just said you were stressed," I mumbled.

"Josh, can you just not be selfish for one second?" Isabelle said as she stopped walking.

"Me? Selfish? I wasn't the one asking you to give up a perfectly good Friday night so I could do homework," I spat.

"Oh, because you have so much better things to do with your time. Except, of course, looking people's names up on the computer. I mean, I am so sorry to interrupt with your busy schedule," Isabelle shot back sarcastically.

"Who said I didn't have a date?"

"Oh right," Isabelle said with a roll of her eyes. "A date. You do know that going out with yourself is not considered a date?"

"Ha ha, you are real funny, Isabelle. But you know, I don't often see you with other guys. In fact… I don't think I ever have. Unless you swing the other way… but that wouldn't make sense with the way you swoon over-" I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned, cutting off my sentence.

"What is your problem?" Finn said to me. Speak of the devil. "Is he bothering you?" he asked Isabelle.

"More than anything," she said.

"Leave her alone, Josh," Finn said in a tone that was a little scary.

"And what are you going to do?" I asked, towering over him.

"I would have no problem punching that smug face."

"I doubt you could reach."

"You might be surprised," Finn said bitingly.

"Go on then," I said. "Surprise me."

"Okay," Isabelle interrupted. "It's fine, Finn. Josh just has some jerk issues." She moved in between us and pushed Finn away.

"Oh, very clever," I told her sarcastically. She rolled her eyes.

"It's really sad that you need to pick on a girl to get your kicks," Finn said from behind Issy. Then there was a toot of a horn and a small Honda entered the car park.

"Come on Finn," a woman from the car called from an open window. "We have to get Jasmine to dancing." Finn looked to the car, then back at me.

"Bye Josh," he said with scorn. Then to Issy he said, "Sorry about that. Any time he is being a pain, don't hesitate to call me." He leaned down and gave her a peck on the cheek, handed her a small piece of paper then slipped in the car. Wow, I had to give it to the guy, he knew how to get a girl. These moves were the stuff movies were made of. Isabelle beamed as Finn drove off. And she had a weird dreamy smile on her lips. I felt something inside me. Something that was not used to feeling around Issy. Was it jealousy? No, that can't be right. This is Issy. Issy! Was it weird for me to be jealous? Yes, very. What was going on? No, I was angry because Jake liked Issy. And as his friend I was obliged to be annoyed that Finn was moving in. That was it.

"Tell me, was that a number or a tissue to wipe your drool on?" I asked sardonically. Issy turned on me and said,

"You really need to get a life." And with a flick of her chocolate brown hair, she left the car park. Something was definitely wrong. This was Issy. I hate Issy.

I was fuming when I got home. Who the hell was Finn to challenge me? And what was it about Finn that Issy liked so much? Jake had all of that. Didn't he? He was good looking and smart and funny, why did Issy like Finn? And I had all that didn't I? Whoa. The thought was just a spilt second one, yet still enough to worry me. I flicked up my phone and quickly typed a message.

_Hey Sophie_

_How r u? I was wonderin if u r doin anything Fri. If not I would love to hang out. Catch a movie?_

_Josh_

See. Nothing. So I told myself. Sophie was hot. Smoking. She had nothing on Issy. My phone beeped, awaking me from thoughts of Isabelle. No, that sounded wrong. The thoughts that I didn't like Isabelle. Not any other kinds of thoughts. Whatever. I didn't need to explain this to… myself? Anyway, I took my phone from where I had put in the desk opened the message.

_Hey Josh_

_I would love to hang out. Meet me at the Complex on Fri, seven, in front of Donut King. Can't wait._

_Sophie_

Perfect. I had a date on Friday. With a hot private girl. All is well. But I couldn't help thinking that Friday was when Issy and I had to work on the project. All is not well.


	4. Chapter 4

Finn – Thursday

**Finn – Thursday **

"Whatever," Ethan said to Liam. "The 1968 Dodge Charger RT is still the hottest car out there. My dream car. Red. So beautiful. It has the best body of any muscle car. A 440 Magnum that purrs like a kitten, with heavy-duty suspension and brakes. So beautiful."

"But still, the Ferrari 360 Spider can't help but beat it. With a modern design and a fantastic modern day engine – how can you even say a Dodge beats it?"

"Liam, you do realise the Charger is a _vintage_ car. Therefore, you have to put it against other _vintage_ cars. The Ferrari 360 Spider is not a _vintage_ car so it is not comparable. Anyway it has the rounded shape that was developed in the sixties – the Dodge is basically the foundation for that car."

"Are you kidding? Ferrari practically invented cars. Well, hot cars anyway. And the Spider has a new 3.6 litre V8 engine that lets the car do 0 to 100km in 4.4 seconds," Liam argued.

"Actually it was the lighter frame and added stiffness that decreased the acceleration time by 0.2 of a second, _Liam_," Ethan said with scorn.

"Whatever," Liam shrugged. He was the laid back one and always knew when to stop before Ethan got really hot-headed. Like I said, Ethan was passionate about his cars. We were in Woodwork. I was lucky. Ethan, Liam and Martin were all in my woodwork class. And it was fun to spend a double period mucking around with them. Though, cars were usually the topic of conversation. Not that I minded. I just liked listening to all the absolutely useless facts Ethan knew. Ethan moved away, to the band saw, scowling. I just laughed.

"I always liked the new Chevrolet Camero," Martin shrugged. I decided not to get involved in this conversation. I wasn't exactly a car whiz or anything. Yet, even Martin seemed to know what he was talking about when it came to cars. Perhaps a side effect of hanging around Ethan a lot.

"So, what are you doing on the weekend?" Liam asked me.

"Nothing really," I answered lazily.

"You want to play footy with us on Sunday? We usually go down to the oval just off Grantham Rd, then go to Ethan's after," Liam told me.

"Yeah, that would be cool."

"Hey Finn!" I heard someone call from behind me. I turned to see Isabelle chasing after me.

"Hi," I said.

"I wanted to say thanks," she said when we met, walking towards the courtyard we usually hung out at lunch.

"For what?" I asked.

"Yesterday, and Josh. But you didn't need to do that."

"He was being a dickhead."

"Yeah, but that is just him. I know how to handle myself," she smiled lightly.

"Sure you do," I said with a grin. "But I wasn't about to stand around and let him say that to you. What kind of friend would I be?" I saw Issy blush and nibble at her lip. She brought her hand up and pushed some of her fringe out her face.

"Well, thanks."

"Whatever," I shrugged. Issy smiled again and waved, making her way towards Rachael, Stef and Kiara.

Last day of the week. Friday. Then weekend. Weekend. The word sounded so good. And I was going to play footy on Sunday with the guys. I leaned back in chair, taking a breath.

"Finn?" Hayley asked.

"Yeah." I jumped awake. Hayley laughed.

"Come one, we have to set this project out."

"Err… yeah, sure." We were in English. And it was a Friday so we were doing our Macbeth project. I could hear Isabelle and Josh bickering behind us. Josh was complaining and Issy was groaning and rolling her eyes a lot.

"You are so frustrating," she said loudly.

"Okay, Isabelle, take a deep breath. In, out, in, out," Josh said in mock concern. Issy gave a frustrated sigh and turned away.

"All I need you to do is start translating the second scene in Act 1. It isn't a huge task. Just start it. You have already read it so it isn't that difficult," Issy said.

"Err… about reading it…"

"What?" Issy said acidly.

"Well, I haven't really."

"Haven't what?" Issy asked though gritted teeth.

"Read it," Josh said in a soft voice and braced himself, as if Issy was about to lash out and explode at any moment.

"Why?" Issy snarled.

"It was summer, as if I was going to waste it reading a boring play," Josh shrugged.

"You know that time when the sun goes down and it's all dark?" Issy mocked. "That is called night time. And in the eight weeks we had off, you could have used _those_ nights to read a little bit at a time and finish the play by the time school started like we were _supposed_ to."

"My nights were busy too," Josh shrugged.

"Of course," Issy rolled her eyes. "Mr Ladies Man would never have time to read a little Shakespeare. How could I forget?"

"I don't know," Josh said in a mocking disbelieving. "How could you ever forget such a thing?"

"I don't care what you say you are coming to my house after to school to do this," Issy said sternly.

"Oh come on," Josh groaned. "I will read it over the weekend. How does that sound?"

"Great, you can do that after you have done some work at my place."

"You are such a control freak," Josh said angrily.

"No," Issy said seemingly unbothered by Josh's comment. "I am just organised."

"Whatever," Josh muttered and sunk low in his chair. I chuckled slightly. Issy was right – she did know how to handle herself.

The rest of class was fairly uneventful. Though at the end I felt a hand on my shoulder as I was leaving.

"I have this for you. A few of my favourite songs. Just listen," Issy said, passing me a silver CD. Isabelle's Mix was written on the front in black permanent market in Isabelle's careful scrawl.

"Thanks."

Isabelle – Friday

Josh complained all the way to my house. His bag was heavy. He was going out. It was hot. It was a long way to walk. We had nine weeks. The play is boring. Act 1 is boring. He wanted to go home. He was hungry. He had things to do. Basically, every complaint you could think of was used. I ignored most of them. I didn't care much. I had a little brother. I was used to it. I pointed out to Josh that he was being petty and pathetic but he just grumbled something under his breath and continued complaining. When we finally reached my house Josh took one look at it and said,

"It's small."

"Gee, thanks," I said with an eye roll. I didn't mind so much. Because our house may have only been one story with two bedrooms, but it had an attic. An attic that I did up two years ago and turned it into my room. And Ryan had made stairs coming in from the hallway and a small landing for me too. It was awesome. I definitely had the best room in the house. It was huge and had a large window that faced the back of the house. I had decorated it in light colours and put dark furnishings in it. Then I had added posters and photos. It was the best. I loved it. "Come on," I said to Josh as I opened the front door. The house was dark brick with a tiled roof. The front garden was messy because neither Mum nor Ryan liked gardening. Ryan just mowed the lawn when it got too out of hand. The backyard was hardly a backyard, but it did okay for us. We had a footy oval down the road that we had used heaps as kids. I didn't use it much anymore, but Cameron often went down there with mates. I went into the kitchen and got two glasses of water. Josh gulped his down in about two mouthfuls and asked for another. Then I took a packet of corn chips from the cupboard and went to my room.

"This is actually… really cool," Josh admired.

"I love it," I said with a smile. Josh moved to the window and looked out.

"But possibly the messiest room I have ever seen. What happened in here?" Josh said turning to look at the floor – or more correctly, all the stuff on the floor, since the carpet was hidden under all my junk. "Was there some kind of nuclear explosion that I missed in the news?"

"I like it messy," I shrugged. And I did. It felt lived in and cosy. And if I needed anything I always knew where it was. On the floor. My desk only held homework and I usually kept that clean. But other than that, the rest of my stuff was on the floor. Clothes, shoes, books, papers, CDs, computer stuff, jewellery, make-up, paper with homework or ideas or doodles or numbers or sudokus, receipts, magazines, newspapers, pens, pencils, notebooks, photos, money. Whatever. Anything and everything. My bedroom floor was a treasure trove. Just the way I liked it. And it was really cool to find ten bucks under a book I reading. It is almost like magic the way it just appears. I sat at my desk and began pulling books out of my bag, arranging them into piles of what I had to do over the weekend.

"You have a room like this," Josh said, sweeping his hands around the cast-offs on my floor. "But you arrange your homework in neat little piles. You're such a nerd."

"Sorry, if I want to do well," I said sarcastically. Josh poked his tongue out. "Childish," I muttered. I took out the work and notes I had on Macbeth, kicked some stuff out of the way so I could see a few metres of floor, and set the notes on the floor. Josh dumped his bag on my bed and slumped to the ground. He kicked some more stuff out of the way so he could lie down, spreading himself over my carpet and staring at the ceiling. I opened the corn chips, took a few, and then threw the packet to Josh. He took some and put the packet between us.

"Got any music?" Josh asked. I stood, taking my iPod out of my school bag and put it in my speakers. I choose one of my favourite songs by _Artic Monkeys_ and pressed play. Josh sat up suddenly, as loud guitars blasted through the speakers. "You like _Arctic Monkeys_?"

"Yeah," I nodded, putting some more chips in my mouth.

"I have to say, I'm surprised," Josh said, head nodding to the beat.

"Why?"

"Because you like decent music."

"Why would that surprise you?"

"I would've thought you would like crappy, girly pop."

"I despise that stuff," I said making a gagging noise.

"So you don't like Brittany Spears just a little?" Josh said with a smile.

"No, way. And if you happen to find a Brittany Spears song on my iPod, it would more likely be my brother's than mine."

"Sure, sure," Josh said with a wink. I laughed. The lyrics in the song began.

_Well I've seen your eyes as they fix on me  
What is he doing? What on earth's the plan? Has he got one?  
You'd better give me some pointers  
Since you are the big rocket launcher and I'm just the shotgun  
_

"You know, you can be funny when you aren't being a jerk," I told Josh. He

tilted his head with a smile and said,

"But I 'm never a jerk."

"Sure," I said with a smile and roll of my eyes.

"Well, you're just so much fun to tease," Josh said with a mock shrug and boyish smile. I gave a small laugh. He kind of had a cute smile.

_  
Well I ain't got no dollar signs in my eyes  
That might be a surprise but it's true  
That I'm not like you and I don't want your advice  
Or your praise or to move in the ways you do  
And I never will  
_

"So I guessed," I said and watched as Josh lay down again. "We should probably start."

"We don't have to," Josh asked, looking at me with a hopeful smile.

"It's your fault. If you'd read Macbeth when you were meant to, you wouldn't need to be here."

"I probably don't need to be here anyway. I'm only here because you're a stress head and you practically dragged me home."

"I didn't drag you and I'm not a stress head."

"Yes, you are," Josh said propping himself up on his elbows.

_  
Cause all you people are vampires  
And all your stories are stale  
And though you pretend to stand by us  
I know you're certain we'll fail  
_

He looked at me, green eyes intense. I took in his gaze, wondering what it was he was trying to figure out. "Why are you like that?" he asked. He was still looking at me, as if I was some eye trick and he was waiting for it to make sense.

"Like what?"

"Stressed and worried all the time?"

"I'm not," I said, beginning to get annoyed.

"But you are. You analyse things all the time. You have to know why something happens and for what reason. Can't things just… happen."

"Things don't just happen," I shrugged. Josh sat up again, still looking at me. "Things happen because of something or someone."

"Maybe," Josh shrugged and leaned against my bed frame.

_  
Well I've seen your eyes as they flicked on me  
Full of confusion  
Your snarl is just so condescending  
Try to explain that we're onto a win  
If you feel we get in  
Near recoups what we're spending  
_

"Why? You think things just… happen?" I asked Josh.

"Well, why not? For example… liking something. It might just happen. And not because you want it to happen or have a reason. You just like it. Like… a band or something."

"But you still have a reason for liking it. You just might not know it," I pointed out.

"Okay… what is your favourite colour?" Josh asked.

"Black," I said.

"Why?"

"Because it's neutral. Demanding. Doesn't get dirty and always looks good against other colours. And it has a certain… quality about it… it gives off a sense of mystery. Or mischief." Josh's hair is black. Why did that thought just come into my brain? Weird.

"Wow. That was deep," Josh said with raised eyebrows.

"Not really," I shrugged. "It's just what I think."

"See," Josh said, looking satisfied.

"What?"

"You analyse too much. Looking in to things that don't need to be explored. You just do. You have heard the phase 'Ignorance is Bliss', haven't you?"

"Of course, and ignorance is human nature. We can't help it. We would prefer lies than be told the truth. Because truth hurts. Most of the time."

"You believe that?"

"Yeah, I do."

_  
He says, I can't believe that you drove all that way  
Well how much did they pay ya? How much did they pay ya?  
You'd've been better to stay round our way  
Thinking 'bout things but not actually doing a thing_

"Well, my favourite colour is blue. And I don't have a reason for liking it. I just do."

"Well… you might like the sea, or water, or the sky, and your subconscious associates that with the colour. Maybe that is why you like it. Or a childhood memory. Something like that."

"Maybe," Josh shrugged. "Your eyes are blue."

"Umm… yeah." I was surprised. Surprised he noticed. Surprised he mentioned it. "Are we going to start?" I asked.

"Your call," Josh shrugged. I opened my books and passed Josh a sheet of ideas I had composed. It was weird having a full conversation with Josh. And I realised I didn't really know him. Not well, anyway. I mean, he had always been around, but all I knew is that he often skipped classes and Jake was his best friend. But I didn't really _know_ him. "Do we really have to do the whole blood-thirsty-evil-black-white-red thing for the script? It's kind of old. Like Sin City," Josh complained.

"Well, I'm the only one even coming up with ideas here. If you put in I'd include you," I said, annoyed at him bagging out my notes. 

"I was putting in. That was constructive criticism," Josh said and passed the notes back, putting a few corn chips in his mouth.

"Sure it was. Can't you just… help me? Please?" I pleaded.

"Isabelle, seriously, if you keep stressing like this, you with have a mental break down before you finish high school."

"You are… you are…" But I didn't know how to finish.

"What? What am I Isabelle?"

"Annoying. Painful," I said finally.

"Is that all you have?" Josh scorned. I stood up and rolled my eyes. Josh stood too, looming over me. And again, he watched me carefully. Almost waiting for something.

"What are you staring at?" I shouted. He wasn't embarrassed as I said it. In fact it only made him stare more. But surprisingly, I wasn't uncomfortable. It was just a little weird. I mean, it was Josh.

"I am trying to work out what made you so… intolerant," Josh shrugged.

"Intolerant?" I almost yelled. "What are you trying to say?"

"You're totally intolerant of me. Why?"

"Why? Because you're like this. You're annoying and frustrating."

"I don't believe that. I think you like hating me."

"Oh, because you know me so well," I said sarcastically.

"I don't need to," Josh said irritably. "Anyone can read you."

"I don't need this." I turned my back to him and took a breath. God. He was so annoying.

"Yeah, you never do," Josh said with distaste.

"How you even have friends is truly beyond me," I said angrily.

"Was that an insult?" Josh said sarcastically. "Because it was a pretty crappy one. And I thought you were the smart one. Can't come up with anything better?"

"Ugh, can't you just… not talk for a few seconds," I said to him.

"But I do so much love these daily banters we have," Josh said sarcastically.

"You are a jerk." I turned back to face him and found he was standing close to me. He moved his face near mine, with an irritated look, as if ready to come up with some insult.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." His face was stern, jaw clenched with anger. I rolled my eyes. And then he was kissing me. Yes, I did say KISSING ME. And with tongue! I have to say I was totally stunned and slightly confused. But my most prominent emotion was definitely anger. I was so pissed. I tried to push Josh off me. But he was stronger. He had one hand on my neck, holding my head to his and the other was around my waist pulling me into his hips. Yuck! I pushed on his chest and gave him a few open palmed hits. He didn't even flinch. This was so unfair. Why was it Josh kissing me? I knew he was being a dickhead, but why couldn't it be Finn grabbing me and kissing me passionately. Actually Josh was a surprisingly good kisser. I so didn't just think that. Why couldn't it be Finn? With his beautiful blue eyes and surfie blonde hair. I wanted him so bad. Then I realised I had stopped fighting Josh and I was actually kissing him. GROSS! He sort of tasted like corn chips. I gave another hard shove and this time Josh let go. He straightened up with a huge grin on his face. He is such a jerk. And he only kissed me to be an asshole. What a jerk! What was his problem? He was good looking; he could have some other girl. Why was he sticking his tongue in my mouth? Why me?

"What the hell was that for?" I snarled. I was livid with anger. Josh just began laughing. I gave him a stern look and he just said through giggles,

"You should have seen the look on your face!" He collapsed to the floor in fits of laughter. I rolled my eyes at him.

"You are such a jerk," I said. He finally got control of himself and stood up again. He reached at my tummy giving me a poke, trying to tickle me. I gave a frustrated groan and spun around.

"And I thought a kiss would loosen you up. Obviously not," Josh said, laughing again.

"You have serious issues," I said, still not facing him.

"You love it," he said in mock seduction in my ear. I still couldn't help jumping at his voice. This just put him in another fit of giggles. I rolled my eyes again and said,

"Can we please just do this?"

"I don't know if I want to go that far with you yet," Josh joked. I promptly punched him playfully in the stomach. He flinched slightly and just laughed again. "How did you get this tight?" he asked. I just gave him a glare and he grinned. I hated Josh.

**Josh – Friday **

Crap. Crap. Crap. Argh. I was so late. Soooo late. I bolted down the stairs of the shopping complex and rounded a corner, panting. Would she be there? I was almost half an hour late. Crap. I blame Isabelle. It was her fault. She was the one annoying me about doing homework. I blame it all on her. But I was the one who kissed her. I shook the thought away. It was distracting. Why the hell did I kiss her? Because all I know is that I didn't do it on the thought of annoying her. That only occurred to me after I had kissed her. Surely I wasn't thinking. I mean, this is Isabelle. I mustn't have been thinking. Something else took over. And it definitely wasn't any of my logical brain. Maybe it was my subconscious. No, that would mean I actually wanted to kiss her. Ha, what a joke. I looked at the front of Donut King. Sophie was nowhere in sight. Crap. Did she think I stood her up? I hope not. I quickly found her number in my phone and pressed call. The phone rang a few times before Sophie answered it.

"Hello," she said.

"Hi, it's Josh."

"Duh, I have caller ID," she said in an irritated tone.

"I am really sorry I am late. I had to do this stupid school thing with a friend. Where are you? Are you still in the centre?"

"Yeah. I am at JayJays doing some shopping."

"Are you still up for the movie?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I guess. But I am pissed you are late."

"And I am really sorry."

"Yeah, well, I will see you at the cinema in five." Dial tone. I let out a breath and began to head in the direction of the movies. When I turned the corner, I saw Sophie. She was wearing a short skirt that showed off way too much leg and a V neck top that showed off way to much chest. Whatever. When she saw me she flicked her platinum blonde hair and walked to meet me. Her brown eyes twinkled as she asked,

"What do you want to see?" She really was short. So that meant she was _way _shorter that me. I towered over her.

"Err… I don't mind. I am up for anything. You choose," I said. Play it cool, was what Jake had told me. Yeah, sure that was going to be easy. Not. Especially since I had been kissing Issy only two hours ago. What is wrong with me? Seriously.

"Well, there has been one I have been wanting to see," Sophie teased.

"Great."

Not great. Not great at all. I would have been happy to see the movie with the car chases and things blowing up and only a skerrick of a story line. But no. I got to see the new Adam Sandler comedy that I knew was going to be crap. Sure, Adam Sandler had made some really funny movies (_Billy Madison_ and _Happy Gilmore_ are two favourites) but this one was going to be a stinker. And I knew what the ending would be before the movie even started. I think I did actually fall asleep for a few moments. But then, the whole movie was a haze to me. Sophie giggled through bits and laughed while I tried to look interested. But he worst thing about a boring movie is that I couldn't concentrate. That meant my thoughts were wandering. And they kept going back to that kiss at Issy's house. Why did I do it? But mostly, why did I enjoy it? Why did I want more? What is wrong with me? Here I was with a beautiful girl (prettier than Isabelle anyway) and I couldn't keep my thoughts off someone else. And it wasn't even that I liked Isabelle. She was annoying and painful. Still, that kiss was weird. And there was a time when Issy even kissed me back. What was going on? Because I was totally confused. And what about Jake? I mean, he liked her. What a good friend was I to go around kissing the girls he liked? I was meant to get an indication on whether she liked him, and all I was doing was making sure she hated me by kissing her. I am such an idiot.

"Wasn't that funny?" Sophie asked me.

"Huh… oh, yeah. It was really funny," I stumbled. Then I realised the lights were on and people were leaving. I stood and made my way out of the rows of chairs I was sitting in. Sophie followed me. We got out of the theatre I took Sophie to the car park.

"You have a lift?" I asked.

"Yeah, my dad should be here soon."

"Great, I will wait with you then," I said. Sophie nodded. We stood in silence for a moment. It was really awkward. And I couldn't think of anything to say. I felt a drop of water on my forehead. Rain? Then it began to bucket. I grabbed Sophie by the hand, on impulse, and ran for cover. Once we had sheltered under a small cove we both began laughing. When we had stopped giggling Sophie looked at me with her pretty brown eyes and gave me a sly smile. She reached up slightly on her toes and tilted her head towards me, lips parted. I leant down – a lot – and brought a hand around her waist. We kissed softly, Sophie's wet hair feeling sticky against my skin. A horn blared and Sophie pushed me away quickly, looking out into the car park.

"I have to go," she said. Then, she gave me a soft kiss on the neck and ran out into the rain and jumped in her dad's car. I sighed as she drove away. Sophie was hot, but we didn't have anything to talk about. And… well she was kind of boring. _Not like Issy_, something in my head said. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Since when was my subconscious making me feel even more confused than ever. I hate this.


	5. Chapter 5

Finn – Saturday Finn – Saturday

I stifled a yawn as my grandmother said something to me.

"Huh?" I said.

"Pardon," my grandmother corrected. I yawned again.

"Sorry. I beg your pardon," I said politely.

"I asked how school was going." My grandmother was my mum's mum. They lived in Melbourne so I think Mum was trying to pay back Dad for all the travelling.

"Err… not bad. Just the same really. You know. School," I shrugged.

"And you Kayla?" she asked my sister who I could see busily txting under the table.

"Huh?" she said, looking up at the mention of her name.

"Pardon," my grandmother corrected again. "I asked how school was."

"Oh, good," Kayla said, looking distracted. My father was playing with his food, obviously not wanting to be here at all. Jasmine was trying to put peas down her top. Mum was trying to stop Jasmine from putting peas down her top. Georgia was talking about some kind of kinetic theory (personally I didn't even know what kinetic theory was, and I am taking physics. Or was it chemistry?). I was staring aimlessly at the wall behind Kayla's head, because her head was currently focusing down to her mobile phone, txting one of the many millions of boyfriends she always seemed to have. My grandmother was trying to get some skerrick of a conversation out of any of us, but it really wasn't working.

"Found yourself a girlfriend yet, Finn?" I almost choked on my peas, sending them down my own top. My grandmother had always been blunt. "You are a good looking boy. But, if you just brushed your hair a little…" Nan reached over and pushed back a strand of hair that was in my face. "I have never understood the attraction of messy hair. I would much prefer clean and proper. Never the less, you do always see girls clinging to boys with hair pulled down over their faces like some kind of greasy curtain. Never understood it," my nan said shaking her head. I just nodded, not really sure what to say. "And you Kayla?" Nan said giving Kayla an evil stare.

"Huh?" Kayla said, looking up like a startled deer.

"Pardon," my grandmother corrected again.

"Sorry," Kayla muttered and ducked her head again.

"What are you doing with that phone of yours, Kayla?" Nan said, looking disgruntled. Wow, that woman never missed a beat.

"Nothing," Kayla said, quickly snapping the phone shut.

"I should hope so."

"Finn, can you pass the gravy?" Dad asked in a bored tone. I passed him the sauce while he mouthed to me, _help me._ I grinned at him, doing all I could not to laugh. Well, what a typical family dinner? I personally just wanted to get out of there too.

"Can I leave?" I asked Mum, standing.

"Have you finished?" she asked me, still trying to clean up Jasmine who seemed to have potato mash in her hair.

"Yes," I said, collecting my plate.

"Okay, go," Mum said, still distracted with Jasmine. I moved to the kitchen quickly, putting my plate and cup away. Then I made my way to my bedroom. When I got there, I shut my door and took a breath. The whole family for dinner as well as a blunt grandmother is a lot to take. I looked over to my desk and saw the CD Issy had given me sitting there. _Guster_, she said the band was called. Slightly intrigued I opened it and put it in the player. The music was a rock-slash-pop-slash-alternate type band. You know, the stuff usually played on movie soundtracks. But it wasn't too bad. It had some good guitars and drums and that was what made it cool for me. It was relaxing but kind of enjoyable at the same time. Personally I thought it was better than the usual emo crap that was being played on the radio now.

_When I speak I cross my fingers  
Will you know you've been deceived?  
I find a need to be the demon  
A demon cannot be hurt _

I thought of Issy while I listened and tried to do a little homework. And I wondered if she could ever like me. She was kind of shy, but not really. She was hard to explain. Pretty. A classic kind of pretty. Not movie star pretty. It's just that she was so different to me. She was directed and focused. I wasn't. She had an opinion. I didn't. She was just… well, different. I wasn't sure. Just, you know, would we ever work?

_  
Honest is easy  
Fiction is where genius lies  
Cause it's easier sometimes  
Not to be involved  
Somehow I make you believe_

Maybe I was just looking into this too much. It wasn't like I was going to ask her to marry me. And it wasn't like we would ever get married. We are in high school for crying out loud. And anyway, if I did ask her out, how would I ask her? Casually? Formally? I don't think Issy was the formal type. See, I am doing it again. Looking into it too much. I hardly know her. I need to get a life.

I kicked the ball back to Ethan, who threw it to Martin, who went for a goal and missed by a mile. He may have wanted to be a mechanic, but his football skills were terrible. I felt a little sorry for him because he had invited Stef to come down, and he wasn't doing much to impress her. In fact I think she was reading the RULES OF PRICE FOOTBALL OVAL, that were on a large sign on the inside of the stand she was sitting in, for the fifth of sixth time. Still, it was good of her to come – even is she was reading 'No dogs allowed without a leash' and 'No alcohol permitted'. As Ethan went to get the footy, I looked around the oval. The place was full of kids from school. I swear it was like some kind of watering hole for animals in the desert. It was definitely the hang out place to be on a Sunday afternoon. There were the girls sitting in stands and all the guys showing off. It was almost funny. Then I looked over past the wooden railings that separated the football oval from the skate park and swore I saw Isabelle.

"Heads up, Finn!" some one yelled. I turned quickly as the football came spinning towards me. I ran back and caught it, kicking it back quickly. I looked over again and squinted in the sunlight, trying to make out the two figures. One of them, I think, was Rachael. The other I was sure would be Issy. Maybe she would come over here. That would be the perfect opportunity to ask her out for coffee or whatever. Unless she was here to see some other guy. No. Surely if she had a boyfriend she would have mentioned it. Or maybe she was here to see some guy she liked. But I was sure Rachael said something about me. Maybe she was here to see me. But she didn't know I was coming. Did she? Why do I freak myself out like this?

**Isabelle – Sunday **

"Rachael," I groaned. "Come on, do we have to do this?"

"Why not?" Rachael asked. "It isn't like we are going to lose anything."

"Except our dignity," I muttered as I followed Rachael up the footpath. We just happened to be on our way to that football oval that was near my house. The reason? Because it was Sunday. And Sunday, at Price Football Oval, was very much like the grazing field are for most teenage males in the area. Yes, I am embarrassed. See at Price Football Oval, there were also cricket nets and a skate park. So on weekends, public holidays, summer, teacher's strikes and/or big events going on, if you came down to Price Football Oval, there was always seemed to be most of the teenage boy population there. It was almost like leaving honey on the bench and watching ants swarm. Same thing. Put a football oval, cricket nets and a skate park within 5km of a public school and the boys will swarm. And, of course, where boys swarm, girls swarm too. Rachael grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I groaned as I was dragged behind her. When we reached the oval, Rachael stopped and I crashed into the back of her.

"Is that Stef?" she said, squinting at one of the concrete stands at the far end. "With Martin?"

"Really?" I asked a little interested. And no it wasn't because I thinking that if Martin was here Finn might be. Okay, I might have been. Just a little.

"She didn't tell us," Rachael said with a frown. I rolled my eyes.

"Look." I pointed to Will with a few of his bone-headed friends close to us and said, "There is Will." I swear Rachael's ears perked up like a dog's does when it is being told it will be fed.

"Okay, I will be back," she said with a flick of the wrist, as if I had been dismissed. Gee, thanks. I crossed the oval, and waved at Stef when she saw me. I found a spot next to her as she said,

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a friendly way, not defensive or annoyed.

"Rachael couldn't wait until tomorrow to see Will," I said and pointed.

"Oh," Stef said with a laugh.

"And you?"

"Well, Martin asked if I wanted to come today," she said with a shrug and pointed to the centre of the oval. "But I am kind of bored." I looked to where she was pointing and saw Martin, Ethan, Liam and Finn. My stomach did a little acrobatic routine as he waved to me. I waved back and turned my attention to Stef. "You so like him," she said with a smile.

"No, I don't," I said with an eye roll.

"Just a hint, blushing doesn't really help when you are trying to pull off a believable lie, Is."

"Ha, ha," I said with a smile. "Hey, can I tell you something?"

"Sure," Stef shrugged.

"But please don't say anything. To anyone. Even Rachael and Ki."

"Okay…" Stef said tentatively. "What is up?"

"You can't laugh," I said seriously.

"Just spit it out already."

"Well… I was at Josh was at my house on Fri to do the project. And we were fighting-"

"What a surprise!" Stef said in mock astonishment. I ignored her.

"And… he… err… kind of…"

"Just say it," Stef moaned.

"Kissed me," I said bracing myself for whatever came next. Stef looked at me and said,

"You're joking, right?"

"No! He really kissed me."

"Did you kiss him back?" Stef just looked confused, as if all this didn't compute. To tell the truth, it didn't.

"No. Well, not really. I was surprised. He just kissed me. Without much warning. One minute we were yelling, and then, he was kissing me."

"I don't get it," Stef said slowly. "Does he like you or something?" Even she didn't sound like she believed it.

"I don't think so. I think he was just being a jerk. Because after he just laughed and said the look on my face was priceless."

"That is beyond weird," Stef said, shaking her head. "Was there tongue?"

"Umm…" I felt my cheeks flush. "Yeah, I guess."

"Did you… like it?" Stef just looked incredulous now.

"Not really. I mean, he just grabbed me." But some where in the back of my mind I remembered the kiss was actually good. It was just the person I had a problem with.

"Wow," Stef said still looking sceptical. I shrugged.

"Maybe I am looking into it too much." And I froze. That was what Josh had said to me. Weird. Really weird.

"Hey guys," I heard a smooth voice from behind me. I turned and almost melted. Finn was standing there, smiling a crooked kind of smile, hair slightly windblown, a little red in the face from running and puffing slightly. I took a gulp and smiled, trying to make it look like I wasn't completely dazed by Finn's surfie good looks. I am such a loser.

"Hey Finn, Ethan, Martin, Liam," I said, nodding to each one.

"Hey guys," Stef said, smiling at Martin. I saw him blush and I had to hold back a laugh. Poor kid. Although I did get the feeling Stef was beginning to have a thing for him.

"What are you doing here?" Finn asked me, sitting down beside a bag I hadn't noticed before. He took out a water bottle and took a long gulp.

"Came up with Rachael. I only live down the road," I said, watching him. He was wearing black basketball shorts, sneakers, and a loose red t-shirt that had BORED? GET OUT AND STOP COMPLAING printed on it in black. I don't think I got the joke. Or maybe it just wasn't meant to be funny. I wasn't sure.

"Yeah? What are you doing now?" he asked.

"Err… nothing. You?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to… I don't know… go to get a coffee or see a movie or something," Finn shrugged. Was Finn really asking me out? What do I do?

"Yeah, I guess that would be cool," I said, trying to sound casual.

"Now?" Finn asked.

"Sure, why not?"

"Where too?"

"I don't mind," I said. "You choose."

"Mate, I thought you were coming round to my place," Ethan said, munching on some kind of bar. Finn seemed to look annoyed, or angry, or both. I shrugged trying not to look to disappointed. Then I heard Rachael's voice.

"Isabelle." Her voice sounded strained and high. I turned to look at her. Her bottom lip was trembling. Oh great. I get asked out by the guy of my dreams and it seemed everything was put in my way just to stop it.

"Rach?" I asked and stood. She fell into my arms, letting a few tears go.

"He has a girlfriend. All this time and he didn't even tell me," she said. I wanted to point out that her and Will had never been best friends or anything. Why would he tell her? Especially since she was pining over him. Still, she was my friend. I had to comfort her. I patted her on the back and said,

"Come on. Let's go home." Rachael nodded and sniffed.

"Some other time," Finn shrugged. I nodded.

"Sure, raincheck." Then I took Rachael by the shoulders and steered her away. I let Stef say her good byes and then she followed us out of Price Football Oval.

**Josh – Sunday **

"Josh, you wanna give me a hand?" Chris called.

"I am not painting any more shoes," I called back. That had been Chris's last project. He painted a whole lot of old shoes and stuck them together to create some kind of sculpture. Chris was my older bro, and was studying art at Uni. 'Budding artist' as my mother used to say. I say 'wannabe Picasso'. But same thing I guess. I don't know where he wanted to go with his art, but then, neither did he. But he was my bro, and a pretty cool one, so I shouldn't diss him too much.

"No, shoes, I promise."

"Alright," I said, making my way down to the basement where Chris's workshop was. As usual it was a mess. See, Mum complained about my room, but really, my room was as sterile as a hospital compared to Chris's workshop. Mum had just given up and now will no longer venture into the unknown. I think she might have an aneurism if she did, so it is much better this way. I made my way to where Chris was standing; in paint covered jeans and a paint-covered shirt. He also had a dark green splodge of pain just above his right eye. I wasn't sure if he knew it was there, but even if he didn't, I didn't say anything. I had always looked like Chris. I had the same thick dark hair and green eyes. He never had the freckles that I did when I was younger, but I grew out of them. And Chris was a little scrawnier than me with a thinner face. Also, he never quite had the looming height I did. Still, people could always tell we were brothers. Chris was standing over some paper that was placed carefully on the floor. I stood next to Chris and looked down to what he was looking at. It was pencil sketches of people. But what was weird, is they weren't faces or bodies, they were a hand, or ear, or knee, or forehead, or eye, or mouth, or shoulder. It was pretty cool actually. And Chris had arranged them so that, even though the drawings had come from obviously different people, they formed a sort of collage. Each part had been drawn on an A4 sheet and made a huge picture of a person.

"I need you to help me pin each of these sketches to that board," Chris said, pointing to a corkboard on the far wall.

"Sure," I said.

"Put them in the same sort of positions they are in now. Like a puzzle."

"Chris, I am capable of pinning paper to a wall," I said with a grin.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Chris said in a mocking tone, raising one eyebrow. I laughed and picked up the first sheet.

"Just a question. How the hell did you manage to get paint on your eye if you haven't been painting?" I asked.

"Oh, I accidentally kicked a paint bottle and it flicked up at me," Chris said easily.

"I hate pointing out the obvious, but if you cleaned this place up, that might not happen."

"I like this place messy. It is the only room in the house that is. I like that."

"Whatever," I shrugged. I wasn't about to ride my brother about cleaning his room.

"So what has been up with you lately? Hardly seen you since school started," Chris said.

"Nothing really. Just school."

"How's Jake?" I had been friends with Jake since primary school, so Chris knew him fairly well too. Especially since during the summer holidays Jake practically lived at my pool.

"Just Jake," I shrugged.

"You are aware that in the English language there are these things called adjectives. They are used as describing words. For example – Jake is interesting," Chris said in a mocking tone. I rolled my eyes.

"Ha ha," I said with a sarcastic smile smile. "You are funny."

"You got a girlfriend yet?" Chris asked.

"I had a date type thing with a girl on Friday," I told him, pinning an ear to the corkboard.

"Yeah? Where did you meet her?"

"Jake managed to get these girls to come 'round to my house on Tuesday. She was one of them."

"What is her name?"

"Sophie."

"You gonna meet her again?" Chris asked.

"I don't know. I mean, she was hot and whatever, but she was kinda… we didn't have much to talk about," I shrugged. I fitted an elbow of a black person to an upper arm of a white person with a few freckles.

"Boring?" Chris filled in. I shrugged again.

"I guess." She was no – no what? Because I could have sworn Issy's face flashed up in my mind. And that kiss. Nah. Not possible. Even if the kiss was good. "But how am I supposed to say that to her? I can't just ignore her."

"Tell her you just want to be friends," Chris shrugged attaching a hand to the elbow I had just put on.

"Isn't that a bit… harsh?" I asked.

"Yeah, but it gets the message across."

"Hey, Sophie," I said into the phone. "It's Josh." I had been nervous about the call. And slightly guilty. Still, better to get it over with, right?

"Hi, how are you?" she asked in her chirpy voice.

"Good, you?"

"Not bad," I said. "Err…"

"I am glad you called," Sophie said suddenly, cutting me off. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah?" I said, glad for the distraction.

"Look, you are a nice guy," she began. I almost let out a breath of relief. She was going to tell me she didn't want to go out with me again. I didn't have to dump her – not that we were ever really a couple. "But I don't think this will work. We can just be friends, right?"

"Yeah, sure," I said easily.

"Great, so we are cool?"

"Yeah. We are cool."

"Great. Well, I have to go. German test tomorrow. See you."

"See you," I said, before hearing the dial tone. Whoa. What a relief. And all my guilt was gone. Now I could continue to worry about my Jake, Issy problem. Not that I had a problem with Jake and Issy being together. I mean, sure, I didn't really think Jake suited Issy. Jake was too… upfront and forward and flirty. Issy was shy and reserved. She was not like Jake at all. And anyway, to be truthful, Isabelle would never go for a guy like Jake. I mean, Jake was good looking, but Issy liked someone with more than that. Although she had fallen for Finn pretty easily. And I think that was just because he bragged about being a lifesaver. Please. I mean, Finn isn't that great. Issy just thinks he is good looking. Oh my god, what is wrong with me? I sound jealous. Jealous! Of Finn and Jake! Over Issy! Ridiculous. Stupid. Meaningless.


	6. Chapter 6

6

**6**

**Finn – Monday **

"How was your weekend?" Rachael asked me in form room.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "Good."

"You?"

"Not bad. Didn't really do much."

"Me neither."

"Have you done that thing for English Lit yet?" she asked.

"What thing?"

"You know, the creative story we had to right."

"Err… no," I answered. "Were we meant to?"

"It is due tomorrow," Rachael said.

"Oh," I said, having not done it. "That might be a problem then." Rachael laughed.

"I've started it. But mine is pretty bad. I just can't come up with anything decent."

"Well, you have done better than me. I will have to do it all tonight. I completely forgot."

"Sorry I'm late," Issy said as she came into class, books practically falling out of her hands. She dropped them on the table next to me and plonked down with a sigh. I flashed her a smile and asked,

"What happened to you?"

"Slept in," she muttered, trying to organise herself. There were a few sniggers from the front of the room where Josh and Jake were sitting. Issy just rolled her eyes and muttered,

"Jerks."

"How was your weekend?" I asked her.

"Not too bad," she shrugged. "I mostly did homework."

"I did almost no homework. And just found out I need to hand in a project tomorrow," I said with a grin. Isabelle smiled back. The bell went and we all stood to move to our different classes. "See you later," I said with a wave.

"Sure," Issy said and turned away. But even as I moved to English Lit with Rachael, I had to watch her leave. I couldn't help it.

I waited for Issy at recess. I stood outside her locker room like a giant idiot and waited for her. She came out, talking to Rach and Stef, as usual. I ran to catch up to her.

"Hey," I said, touching her arm. She jumped at the sound of my voice, but smiled at the same time. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," she said with a wave to her friends. They giggled, but we both ignored them.

"I listened to the CD," I began.

"Yeah? Did you like it?" Issy asked.

"Sure," I shrugged.

"Not really?" Issy smiled. She wasn't offended.

"No, I did kinda like it. But not a favourite," I told her honestly. Isabelle nodded, taking it in.

"My favourite song on that album is 'Rainy Day'," she said sounding a little disconnected.

"Umm?" I said with a grin, not knowing the song. Is grinned back and punched me playfully on the arm. I perked up a bit as she did. I am so pathetic. "So," I began, a little nervous. "About yesterday… the offer still stands."

"Yeah?" Issy said with a smile.

"You doing anything this weekend?" I asked. "I mean, if you have the time to take a night off your busy schedule," I said in a joking tone. Issy blushed a little.

"I guess I will have to see," Issy shrugged. My heart dropped. I took a risk and said,

"Are you saying that just to tease me? String me along?"

"What fun would there be if there wasn't a little bit of a chase?" Issy said with a flirtatious smile. Whoa. I hadn't been expecting that. I grinned anyway. Then Issy began to walk away.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"My friends," she said easily over her shoulder. I took another risk and called out,

"Are you abandoning me?"

"See you later, Finn," she said with a wave, still not turning around. I smiled. She was flirting with me. That had to be a good sign.

**Isabelle – Monday **

"Err, hi, is Josh home?" I asked the lanky guy standing at the door. He couldn't have been more that twenty-five and looked a lot like Josh. He had the same green eyes and thick black hair, but his face was different. His features were sharper and he didn't have the cute boyish smile Josh did. He was still good looking though. A more mature good looking.

"Are you Sophie?" he asked. Sophie? Who was Sophie? Josh's girlfriend?

"No, I'm Isabelle. I am doing a project with Josh. I came by to work on it with him."

"Oh, erm, sure. I will just get him for you." The lanky guy walked away, leaving me in the doorway of Josh's house. Awkward, much? I waited and soon Josh's looming figure stepped into view.

"Hi," I said. Josh frowned and said,

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to work on the project." I stepped into Josh's house and walked to him.

"How do you know where I live?"

"Jake told me. He was reluctant at first, thought I wanted to egg you or something. But he gave in," I told Josh with a smile.

"Of course he gave in," Josh muttered under his breath.

"Huh?"

"You know, I don't think I agreed to this. So remind me again, why are you here?" Josh asked ignoring last comment.

"Josh, just show me your room," I said. Josh frowned again, mumbled something under his breath and walked away. I followed him. His house was nice, and very clean. It was a weatherboard house painted a pretty white with a very neat garden full of pastel coloured flowers. Inside, everything seemed to match. From the curtains to the rugs and the furniture. Everything was in pastel or light colours. It was the picture perfect Stepford house. Kind of creepy. We walked up the stairs and reached a door that already looked out of place in the perfect house. The door – even though it was painted a nice, plain, off-white – looked dirty and had a few marks on it. Josh opened it and stepped inside. I followed. His room had a large window above his bed and a wardrobe on the far wall. It was weirdly tidy, but it was dirty, if that makes any sense. Everything was packed into neat piles and set in a well-organised order, but the things looked dirty. Most of the stuff in the room was black or dark, and didn't suit the rest of the house. Things were ripped or broken or just unclean. It was kind of weird.

"Well…" Josh prompted. I put my stuff on the tidy desk (though it had a large paint stain across the top and the sides were chipped) and pulled out a chair (which had a large split down one of the legs and I was slightly worried it might break under my weight).

"Who was it that answered the door?" I asked.

"Chris, my brother," Josh answered bluntly and sat on the side of his bed uncomfortably.

"He looks like you."

"Yeah."

"How old is her?"

"He is twenty-two and studies creative art at Uni," Josh said it as if he had been asked too many times.

"Who's Sophie?" I found myself asking.

"Err… just a girl I know. Can we please not talk about this?" Josh asked with an annoyed expression. I ignored it.

"Just a girl you know? A girlfriend?"

"No, I just went to the movies with her. Okay. It was nothing. Can we drop this?"

"Nothing? So does that mean it won't happen again?"

"Why do you care?" Josh exclaimed.

"Just curious," I shrugged. Josh rolled his eyes.

"She was just some girl. And, no, I don't plan to go out with her again," Josh said.

"Why?"

"Because… just because. I don't have to explain this to you, okay? Will you just do what you came here to do?"

"Sure," I said pulling out my Macbeth stuff. "Was she a clone?" I asked. Josh groaned.

"What does that even mean?"

"You know. A follower. Tag along. Clone," I told him.

"Yeah, kind of," Josh said with a gritted sigh.

"Those chicks annoy me so much," I said, sort of thinking aloud.

"As if you can talk," I heard Josh mutter under his breath.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively.

"You just seem like the type to succumb to peer pressure," he said carelessly as if trying to brush the comment away.

"That is crap," I said.

"You can't tell me you don't know you are a tag along," Josh said as-a-matter-a-factly. Strangely, I wasn't angry. Perhaps because it was true.

"Yeah," I said. "That doesn't mean I fall under peer pressure. I don't do things just because everyone else is doing it or because someone else tells me to," I said.

"Yeah, right," Josh said with an eye roll.

"It's true!"

"Have you ever taken a puff of a cigarette?" he asked.

"That was for experience," I told him. And it was true. I couldn't exactly tell my friends off for smoking if I had never tried it. So I did. I swear, it is like standing with your head over a fireplace, only it tastes worse. Why the hell people do it I never know. I know it is addictive. But how do you get addicted in the first place. It is beyond disgusting.

"Of course it was," Josh said sarcastically.

"You know, I so don't have to explain this to _you_," I said turning away from him.

"Fine," he said suddenly. "If you are immune to peer pressure, try this." He suddenly grabbed my arms and pushed me against the wall. I dropped everything I was holding and it cluttered to the floor. I was about to protest when Josh brought his face close to mine and whispered, "Kiss me." He said it slowly and deliberately. "I want you," he said seductively. "Kiss me." What the hell? I looked into his green eyes and boyish face. Josh was actually good looking. Too bad he was such a jerk. "Kiss me," he said again and brushed his lips over mine. My stomach lurched as I remembered the last time Josh had kissed me. He really was a good kisser. And the way he was saying, _kiss me_, was kind of totally turning me on. As I looked into his eyes I remembered the boy who had asked me out on the basketball courts four years ago. He was still tall and lanky and definitely still had the boyish look. Only over the years it had become his charm. "I want you," he whispered. Oh my God. What is wrong with me? I was actually contemplating kissing Josh! Josh! Why me? Why couldn't it be Finn doing this? "Kiss me," Josh said again. I found it somewhere in my head to roll my eyes and push Josh off.

"Get off me," I said acidly. As I moved away from the wall, Josh grinned.

"You _so_ almost kissed me!"

"I did not."

"Yeah, right," he said. "You almost did. I saw the way your eyes glazed over and you tilted your head towards me. You totally almost kissed me."

"It's all in your head," I said, then looked down. "Or perhaps in your pants."

"Hey," Josh said protectively. "You were the one who almost kissed me."

"You were the one who was on me whispering in my ear and acting all sexy."

"You think I'm sexy?" Josh genuinely looked surprised. I rolled my eyes and said,

"You wish."

"That's just what you said," Josh replied with a smile.

"You know what I mean," I grumbled.

"No," Josh said with a grin. "I don't think I do. Please explain." He was being a pain, but I had dug myself into a hole.

"Well," I began. "If it had been any guy, I probably would have done the same. Well, I mean, any guy my age who was good looking."

"You think I'm good looking?" Josh looked even more surprised.

"I… I… well, come on. You know you are," I said. Oh my God. I had just admitted Josh was good looking. I am such an idiot. I am such a screw up. Why can't I just shut-up? Josh grinned like an idiot.

"So if I was to try this-" he grabbed me again around the waist, pushing me on to his bed this time, his face close "-again, you would kiss me?" he asked. His touch was rough but, surprisingly, he held most of his own weight on his arms. Still, I could feel his legs and hips touching me. One leg in between mine and the other holding up some of Josh's weight. Oh my God, he is such a dickhead. Who did he think he was? He couldn't just go around pushing girls down on his bed. But I was ready this time. I moved my face close to his. I saw him lean a little closer, lips parted slightly.

"Not. A. Chance," I said. Josh grinned and backed off, jumping off the bed. I gave him an icy stare and sat up, quick to get off Josh's bed. Who knew what kind of stuff he did in his bed. Eww. I can't believe I just thought that. Gross. I just got some really bad images.

"Whatever," he said. "But if it was some other good looking guy – not one you hated – you would kiss them?"

"Would you just drop this?" I said in a frustrated tone. Josh moved close to me. I held a breath and promised myself I wouldn't move.

"Say… Finn?" he said with a smirk. My face became stony.

"You don't know shit about me," I said angrily.

"I know that you have huge crush on Finn," Josh said in an annoyed tone.

"Yeah, and I sure as hell wish it was him here instead of you," I snapped.

"It didn't seem like that the other day when I kissed you!"

"That's because I was thinking about Finn," I shot at him.

"I'm sure you were." Josh scorned and moved his lips even closer to mine. Why was I so focused on his lips? Maybe because he was a really good ki- no, I had to stop thinking like that.

"I am not sure if you are aware of this fact, but it is possible for people not to be jerk-offs sometimes."

"But it is so much more fun this way," Josh spat. I could feel his hot breath my cheek; our gazes held.

"Yeah, you just seem to love kissing me," I said, irritated.

"So do you," Josh said in a slow husky voice. I felt a shiver run through me. I liked it when he spoke like that. No, I didn't. I shouldn't. I like Finn. Or maybe this was just some hormone thing. Maybe that is why I liked Josh's husky voice. It wasn't my fault I got turned on. And that didn't mean I liked him. Because I didn't. I hated him. I saw Josh's gaze soften and his hand made a move, as if he was going to touch my face. I waited, curious to see what he would do.

"Whoa," Jake said. He was standing in the doorway. "Am I interrupting something?" Josh and I stumbled apart and both looked at the ground.

"Not at all," I said bitterly.

"Mate," Josh said uneasily and gave Jake a slap on the hand. "What are you doing here?"

"Just came around to see if you wanted to hang out… but if you are busy?"

"He's not," I said. "I think Josh and I are done here." Josh gave me glare and then turned to Jake.

"Sure, let's go somewhere. Anywhere to get away from Macbeth and Isabelle."

"Well, I am so glad our relationship is improving. I mean, one more meeting like this and we will be taking long walks along the beach bare foot, holding hands and watching the sun go down," I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, you wish."

"Seriously, I can come back when you two are done," Jake said.

"Ugh," I said grabbing my bag and hoisting it up on my shoulder.

"Tell me," Jake said turning to Josh. "Does she make those sounds every time you meet or just when I walk in on you this close to pashing?"

"Ha ha, you're funny," I said sarcastically to Jake, then turned on Josh. "Wow, I would expect a comment like that to come from you, Josh. Although I am not surprised you keep similar company. Is it some kind of ego boost for you? To have little clones following you?"

"Who the hell are you calling clones?" Josh asked, suddenly outraged. "What about you and you little followers? Although you aren't exactly a leader. You have always been a sheep. Couldn't stand up to your friends if you wanted too. But you have never really had any balls, have you?"

"Why, when you seem to supply enough testosterone for both of us. But you know what? Most of the time it just makes you do really stupid things. Like, ah, I don't know… kissing me for no good reason," I said angrily. I felt my fists clench. Josh tensed as I said the words _kissing_ and he looked dangerously over to Jake. Jake stayed silent. Lucky or I may have ripped into him too. Josh stared at me, face rigid.

"I'm sick of this," I said finally. "You boys have fun. I am leaving." I turned, bag on my back and slipped out of his room, brushing past Jake on the way.

**Josh – Monday **

"Shit," I groaned and Isabelle left.

"You actually _kissed_ her?" Jake asked. I could see the hurt on his face. He still liked her. And me kissing her immediately put me in the 'bastard' basket.

"Look," I said to him. "I have to sort this out. Just… just stay here." I ran down stairs and found Issy making her way to the front door. "Issy, just wait. I'm sorry." She ignored me and kept moving for the door. I suppressed an angry groan and ran to her. Before she could reach for the door handle and grabbed one of her hands and spun her to face me. She inhaled sharply and shook her wrist.

"Get off of me," she said still trying to shake me away.

"Just listen to me," I almost shouted. She took a gulp and stopped struggling.

"Will you let me go if I do?" she asked. I let go of her wrist and began.

"I am sorry about the stuff I said up there. Can we just… let it go? It didn't mean anything. And if we want to finish this stupid project we will need to be on speaking terms." Issy had a stern face on. I waited, watching her. Her dark brown hair was pulled back today, but part of her fringe had become unclipped and she had hastily pushed it behind her ear. Her hazy blue eyes looked troubled and annoyed. Her lips were pursed slightly and I waited hesitantly for an answer. It was a long time before she spoke but she finally said,

"Yeah, sure. I'm sorry too."

"Great, well, I guess I will see you tomorrow."

"Just one thing," Isabelle said before leaving. "Don't kiss me again. Even if you are only joking." Then she gave me a large grin. I felt the last of my annoyance slip away and I smiled too. We both began laughing. And it was in that moment I realised I liked her. I could fight with her. We would tease each other and throw insults around but it was in that that I could like her. She would make me so angry but make me laugh. She could make me more jealous that I have even been just with a smile at another guy. She could hate me, and I could hate her, but I would still love her. I had fallen for her bad. What a screw up I am. We stopped laughing and suddenly I didn't know how to act.

"Well, you have fun with Jake," Issy said. "Bye."

"Bye." Isabelle opened the door and left. I shut the door behind me and leant against the wood. I took a breath.

"So what was this kiss Isabelle mentioned?" Jake said from the bottom of the stairs. I could hear spite in his voice.

"Jake, can we not do this right now?"

"I just can't believe _you_ kissed _Isabelle._ You guys have hated each other since Year 9." His voice was cold and hard.

"Apparently."

"But why? Do you like her?"

"No!" I found myself lying defensively. "It was a joke. I kissed her as a joke. I was just being a dickhead. It wasn't a real kiss anyway."

"Please define a 'not real' kiss," Jake said using his fingers to make talking marks.

"I…"

"Was there tongue?"

"Ah…"

"Stop stalling. Answer the question, mate."

"I guess, but-"

"Did you hold her neck or head?"

"Well… yeah, but-"

"Did you put an arm around either her waist, hips or back at any time?"

"Yes, but-"

"It was a real kiss," Jake said in a satisfied tone.

"Since when did you become an expert," I grumbled. But I knew he was. Gee, Jake spent so much time with girls he knew exactly how to work them.

"So where did this come into the scheme of helping me get her?"

"Jake, I told you. It was a joke. She hates me anyway."

"That isn't the point. You kissed her. I like her."

"She hates me!" I yelled. Because this time it stung. It stung because I knew I liked Isabelle and I knew she hated me. We had both fallen for the same girl. "She likes Finn," I said in a resigned tone.

"But…" Jake wasn't used to being rejected.

"She likes Finn. Just leave it."

"You aren't just saying that because you like her?" The spite was gone. And I knew, the next thing I said Jake would trust. I should say that I had also fallen for her and I was sorry I kissed her. I should have said sorry and he would have first dibs if she ever dumps Finn. But I didn't. The dickhead in me said,

"No mate. I am saying it as your friend."

"Come on," Jake said and flung an arm around me. "Let's get you out of here."


	7. Chapter 7

Finn – Tuesday

**Finn – Tuesday **

"You going to eat anything before school?" my mum asked without even looking up from her newspaper.

"Do I have to?" I asked with a yawn.

"I would like you to," Mum said. I rolled my eyes and reached over the counter for some cornflakes. "Do you know where Kayla spends all her time after school?" Mum asked.

"Nope," I lied. She spent all her time with her friends at Price Oval with all the boys. But I didn't really want to freak Mum out.

"Well, I have to go to work," Mum said, getting up and walking to the door. She gave me a peck on the head before leaving the house.

"Thanks for not ratting me out," Kayla said, walking into the kitchen.

"Avoiding Mum?" I asked.

"Not really."

"You have impeccable timing then," I said to her.

"Whatever. I just don't want to be grilled before school. It's too early," Kayla yawned.

"Fine, I am going to school," I said and stood, slinging my bag on my shoulder and taking an apple on the way out.

"Finn?" Kayla called out.

"Yeah?" I asked sticking my head in the door.

"Who was that girl you were with the other day when we picked up Jasmine from dancing?"

"A friend," I answered.

"A girlfriend?" Kayla teased. I ignored her and walked out of the house.

I got to school a little early and found Ethan, Liam and Martin at the lockers. There was a big crowd for some reason. My bag still on my shoulder because I couldn't get through the mass of people to find my locker.

"Hey," I said to Ethan. "What is going on?"

"Trent and Harry are fighting," Martin answered excitedly. I stood on my toes and peered into the crowd. I could see two boys standing close to each other, faces stony. But I wouldn't have said they were fighting. More like shoving.

"What are they fighting about?" I asked.

"Who knows," Liam shrugged, leaning casually against a locker. "But I am bored."

"How am I supposed to get to my locker?" I asked.

"Don't worry," Liam said. "A teacher is already coming." I turned my head to see a tall male teacher walking down to the locker area.

"What is going on here?" he asked loudly. The crowd split and began to disperse. The teacher told both the boys to follow him as he lead them away. I moved to my locker and got my books for first period.

"Well, that was fairly uneventful," I said to Liam as we moved to homeroom together.

"Fights always are. Huge hype and no action."

"Sure," I shrugged.

"Did you ask Issy out?" Liam asked suddenly. I felt myself blush.

"Err… sort of. How did you know?"

"Because stuff like that goes around the school in about two seconds flat. And I am not even into gossip," Liam laughed. I tried to laugh with him, but it was a little uneasy. "So, what did she say?"

"Err…" Now I was really embarrassed. "Well, she hasn't really given me a real answer yet."

"What do you mean?"

"She hasn't said yes, but she isn't saying no," I said, slightly annoyed I had to explain this.

"That is just confusing," Liam muttered. I was just glad we were over this topic. I sat next to Liam in homeroom, the opposite side of the room from Issy. Not that I noticed or anything. Liam and I talked about nothing until the bell went and I made my way to physics. Issy caught up with me.

"Hey, how are you?" she asked, books in hand, hair wavering around her head angelically.

"Good. You?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"What do you have?" I asked her.

"Biology. What about you?"

"Physics," I told her.

"Yuck," she said and made a face. "I hate physics."

"Probably why you aren't doing it," I said with a laugh. She smiled.

"I'm in this classroom," she said, pointing ahead of us.

"Okay, I'll see you later then," I told her and began to walk away.

"I'm free on Saturday," she called suddenly. I turned. "Just in case you were wondering." She gave me a smile and then slipped into the classroom. I grinned and walked to physics.

I cringed as my phone vibrated in my pocket. And suddenly all eyes were on me.

_The clown with the frown driving down to the sidewalk fair  
Finger on the trigger let me tell you gave us quite a scare  
Goddamn right it's a beautiful day  
Goddamn right it's a beautiful day_

My ring tone rang out an _EEL_'s song and the class fell silent. I fumbled to turn it off, but it was too late.

"Phones in class," my teacher said, holding out a hand. "I will take that. You can get it back after class." I held back a groan as I passed the phone over. Who had called? And why? No one usually called me during class. I waited the class out a little eagerly and got my phone back quickly. I checked the caller ID and growled. Mum. What did she want? It was lunch so I quickly called her back.

"Hello?" she answered in a chirpy voice.

"Why did you call me during class?" I asked angrily.

"Oh," Mum said in realisation as to who I was. "It is about tonight. Your dad is going to be out late. Me too. There is some pasta in the cupboard and one of those jars of sauce in the fridge. Can you just cook that up for you and the girls? Also can you unload the dishwasher?"

"That's it?" I asked irritably.

"Sorry, Finn, but it can't be helped," Mum said with a sigh.

"Fine, whatever," I muttered. "And you almost got me a detention."

"You shouldn't have had your phone in class," Mum shot back.

"Whatever," I said and hung up without letting her answer. Damn it. It wasn't like I had _heaps_ of homework, I thought sarcastically. I walked to my locker to get lunch, still fuming. As I was putting my books away, Ethan slapped me on the back. I spun and he gave me a grin.

"Just heard about you and Issy," he said. I let out a groan.

"Does everyone need to know?" I said.

"What did you expect?" Ethan asked with a laugh. Right. Of course. What did I expect from a pack of annoying teens with nothing better to do in their lives than mooch of other people's gossip? Why did everyone care anyway?

**Isabelle – Tuesday**

"I don't know why I was so caught up with him," Rachael said to me at lunch. "He isn't _that_ good looking. And he is a little dim."

"Sure, Rach," I said absently. As if I hadn't heard enough of Will since Sunday.

"I mean, Jake is so much better looking. And he is funny."

"And a complete player," I told her.

"You shouldn't judge so much," Rach scowled.

"What? So you are crushing on Jake now?"

"I didn't say that," Rach said with a sly smile. I shook my head with a laugh.

"You still crushing on Finn?" she asked. I shrugged, suddenly touchy. There was something bugging me. Something that stopped me from saying yes right away. I wasn't sure what it was so I brushed it away.

"I guess. He asked me out yesterday."

"Really?" Rach asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I didn't give him a definite yes but I didn't say no," I told her.

"Smooth," Rach said with a grin. "Always leave them hanging."

"Whatever," I laughed.

"You know what would be hilarious," Rach began.

"Hmm…" I said, already thinking about something else.

"If you and Josh ended up together."

"Huh?" I was suddenly snapped back to the conversation.

"I was just thinking. It would be funny if you two hooked up," Rachael said with a grin. I gave an uneasy laugh. I _had_ hooked up with Josh. Well, it was him who kissed me, but that is beside the point. I had told Stef, but I don't think I was ready to tell Rachael just yet.

I think Josh and I were good. You know? Just as friends, of course. What else would I mean? No, I'm not defensive. Anyway, I think we had gotten past the really hating stuff. Josh was kind of funny. Sarcastic and sardonic, but funny. And he was almost a little charming. Not like Finn, of course, but still, I think things between us were better. Maybe we wouldn't fight so much. Maybe not. Shrug. I guess what I was trying to say is, even though Josh was a jerk, I didn't _hate_ him. He just annoyed me. You know? And no, this had nothing to do with the whole kissing Josh thing. Sure, he was a pretty good kisser but that meant nothing. And if anything, that was one of the only things I wasn't willing to forgive him for. Still, I was happy with our situation. In fact we even managed to sit through half a chemistry lesson without a single bicker. I was very proud of myself. Until we got paired up to do a prac together. It was a pretty simple, boring task to do with heating magnesium. We were setting up, not really talking about anything when I tripped on one of the chair legs at the bench we were working at. It was really weird because as I tried to catch myself on anything, my other foot just slipped out from under me. My stomach lurched as I flailed around. It was sort of like I was standing on the floor, then suddenly it was gone. Time seemed to slow and I knew I was going to fall on my ass and it was going to hurt like anything. Then, the world stopped spinning, and I was still. That was when I worked out what had happened. Josh had caught me. My heart did a little flip in my chest. But I think that was because I still in shock of the fall. It had nothing to do with Josh. He had obviously turned and saw me falling, then reached out and grabbed me. He had one arm around my back, his hand under my arm, and the other was holding onto my hip from the front. My head was at his chest and he was looking down with amusement in his eyes. He smiled gently – seriously freaked out, since when did Josh give me tender smiles? – and said,

"Saved your life."

"Ha ha," I said with a smile and roll of my eyes. We stayed there for a moment, Josh just holding me. It was… almost relaxing. But before I completely caved into Josh he tilted me up so I was standing. I realised what I had almost done and stepped back quickly. Josh looked awkward now. But then, I was too.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Um… yeah, just a little shaken."

"Did you get the matches?" he asked as if that whole episode had never happened.

"Um…" I think I was still in shock. "Yeah." I passed him the box of matches as he turned away from me and began the experiment. I shook away the dazed feeling and tried to get my head back into what we were doing. But I couldn't. It was weird thinking about the fall. I could have been seriously hurt. Maybe I was over reacting, but I could have broken an arm, or hit my head on the floor or corner of a table. "Thanks, Josh," I said, not really sure what I meant.

"Huh?" he asked, back still turned, looking at his watch.

"I said thanks. You know, for catching me," I said. Josh turned, eyebrows in a questioning look.

"I didn't really mean to," Josh shrugged. "It was just a… reflex." Why was he being so gracious? It wasn't like him.

"Sure," I said, also shrugging. I didn't want to make it a big deal or anything. I sat down on the chair next to him as he began to write some results down on our prac sheet. Our chairs were kind of close, but not uncomfortably so, yet Josh seemed awkward. It was almost as if he wouldn't look me in the eyes. It was weird. For him especially. He was the kind of guy who was always up in your face. I watched him for a moment, then suddenly he turned towards me, as if he was going to get up. His hand brushed my bare thigh – my skin tingled – by accident and Josh sprung away looking at me.

"Sorry," he said. That was weird. It was almost as if he… nah.

"Don't worry about it," I said casually. But, it wasn't really casual. It wasn't casual because for some stupid reason I think I liked it. What the hell was wrong with me? Josh was hot, but I wasn't the kind of girl who swooned. Well, except maybe Finn, but that was different.

"I need to… get…" Josh looked around the class. "That." He pointed to the front of the room and began to walk away. I shook my head. This was weird. Josh being all jumpy. He wasn't like that. He was usually pretty laid back and sarcastic. When he came back to our bench and sat, shifting his chair a little away from me, I asked,

"What is up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "You are acting all… weird."

"Weird?" Josh questioned uneasily.

"Yeah. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Josh said a little too quickly.

"You are too strange," I muttered and tried to concentrate on the calculations I had to work out. I just didn't get why it bothered me. It shouldn't. It was just Josh.

"So what is up with you and Josh?" Stef asked me when we were finally alone outside the steps of the office block. "And the whole kissing thing?"

"Umm… well, something really weird happened yesterday," I told her.

"Yeah?" she prompted.

"Well…" And I went through the whole thing that happened at his house. Although I didn't exactly give her the whole info about my thought process. That was way too embarrassing.

"It is almost as if… well… he likes you or something," Stef said looking really surprised. As if she didn't really understand what she was saying.

"I don't think so," I said, shaking my head. "But something else happened in chem."

"Are you serious?" Stef said.

"It was nothing huge. I tripped and Josh caught me. Then he was all awkward about it. And he accidentally touched my leg and he just got really weird. He rushed away saying he needed to get something."

"Okay, I really think he likes you now," Stef nodded.

"But… it is Josh. Maybe… maybe there is another reason he was being weird."

"Maybe you turn him on," Stef shrugged.

"Stef, I am serious," I said. But I couldn't help thinking about how he turned me on the other night.

"So was I. He is a guy. Maybe you just make him… happy," she said with a grin. I rolled my eyes and playfully punched her on the arm. But I had a feeling that might have been true. Because there was no way he liked me. We both hated each other.

**Josh – Wednesday **

"Do we have English?" Jake asked me from behind his locker door.

"You could just look at your timetable," I suggested.

"But it is so much easier for you to just tell me."

"Easier than just turning your head and looking at the time table I stuck to the back of your locker door so you wouldn't annoy me?"

"Of course it isn't. But then that would defeat the purpose of me tyring to annoy you," Jake said with a grin.

"Yeah," I sighed. "We have English and Physics."

"Physics!" Jake said looking alarmed.

"Yeah?"

"I was meant to finish that prac report," Jake muttered hitting his head with his hand.

"And I am guessing you didn't do it," I said.

"You are guessing right," Jake said.

"Don't worry about it. You can copy mine during English."

"You truly are a great friend," Jake said. My gut twinged. I wouldn't be such a great friend when he found out I was lusting after the same girl he was. As if yesterday in chemistry hadn't been bad enough. That was excruciating. I hadn't even meant to catch Issy. I just did. And then I had held her for too long. God, I felt like an idiot. Then I even touched her thigh. It was a total accident. I freaking out because she was sitting so close to me. I could practically smell her. Then my hand unintentionally hit her leg. And I acted like such a dickhead. I was so embarrassed.

"Whatever," I shrugged as Jake and I began to walk to English. And I was absolutely dreading English. I just needed to stay away from Issy. But, of course, that had to be impossible, didn't it. Especially when as we were making our way to the class, Rachael and Issy joined us. It was obvious Rach was flirting with Jake. So as Jake and Rach walked together, Issy and I got stuck together. Great. Really.

"Hey," Issy said with a tilt of her head.

"Hi," I said, not looking at her. "Don't tell me Rach likes Jake?"

"Yeah, she got over Will fast," Issy said with a smile. I smiled too.

"Did you expect any less?" I joked. Issy shrugged. We got to the door of the classroom and stepped in. The class was only half full and there were a few seats left. Jake put his books down first, second from the end of the row. Rachael put her books on the end, and Issy, next to Jake. But she seemed reluctant. As if she wanted to save a seat for someone else. Finn. He hadn't come to class yet. And I quickly put my books next to Issy, sitting hastily. I was jealous. How stupid was that? Jake then turned to Issy and began a conversation. I kind of zoned out, once again awkward now that I sitting next to Is. But I couldn't exactly move. She might take offence. I am such an idiot.

"Right, Josh?" Jake said to me.

"Huh?"

"Didn't I once save a baby from a burning building?" he joked.

"Oh yeah," I answered in playful sarcasm. "It was really heroic."

"Yeah, yeah, really funny," Issy said, laughter in her eyes. That was when Mr Carlile walked in and began talking obnoxiously. I sort of drifted of in my own world. But I couldn't help being caught up by Jake's obvious flirting. The thing was, Isabelle was so clueless, she just thought Jake was joking. And for a weird reason it made me angry. Angry that Jake was flirting. Angry that Isabelle didn't even realise. And when Jake made the comment to Issy,

"Yeah, well, I love the beach. I learnt how to surf when I was only a kid," I sort of snapped.

"That's bullshit," I said. Jake hadn't even picked up a surfboard in his whole life.

"Huh?" Jake looked stunned.

"You can't surf." The mood became icy. Jake gave a cold glare and I looked away, embarrassed. Isabelle looked as if she was studying me. She seemed confused about something. I ignored both Jake and Isabelle and went back to my work.

"What the hell was that?" Jake asked me angrily on the way to physics. You think he'd be grateful I let him copy my prac report. Apparently not.

"What?" I asked, pretending not to know what he was talking about.

"That thing in English. With Issy," Jake said angrily.

"You were bullshitting," I answered easily.

"So what? I always bullshit. What does it matter this time?"

"Because Issy will see through it. And anyway, didn't I tell you she likes Finn. Just as a reminder, he is a Surf Life Saver. Sorry, but even your lie wouldn't be as impressive as Finn."

"What is your problem man? You used to be cool. I thought you said you didn't like her."

"I don't!" I said angrily.

"Then what is your problem?"

"I told you," I said, frustrated. "Issy likes Finn. She is just going to blow you off."

"You are being a real asshole, you know that?"

"Well, I am _sooo_ sorry," I said in mock sincerity. And I walked away. Jake didn't follow. I was grateful for that. I didn't think I could deal with that at the moment. I didn't end up going to physics. I just wasn't interested. I was practically renowned for skipping class, so I didn't really care.

I watched Issy as she walked away, bag slung off one shoulder, Kiara next to her, laughing. It was the end of the day. I was just glad to go home. Isabelle's dress was flitting around her knees, letting me see small fragments of her thighs, mocking me. You know, it was almost as if women were created just to keep us men looking like idiots. They were crated so perfectly and we were created to be drooling followers. And they had total power over us with sex appeal. It wasn't fair. I kept watching Issy while I waited for Jake. Someone called her name and she flipped her head over her shoulder, looking for the voice. When she found it, she gave a genuine smile and a wave of the hand, her chocolate brown hair fluttering around her shoulders, glinting in the sunlight. And I took that moment and committed to memory. Because she looked so beautiful. So perfect. So… above me. Like an angel. Or a goddess. And even though the smile wasn't for me, as long as I had that memory, I could pretend. And pretending was sometimes better than reality. The reality that Isabelle would never want me.

"Hey mate," Jake said to me. I gave him a,

"Hmm," in response, to show I was still pissed.

"Look, I am sorry I said that shit," he began. "I didn't mean it. I was just pissed. I know you don't like Issy like that. I guess… I guess I was just annoyed that you're right. She totally likes Finn. You should've seen them at lunch." I turned to face him.

"Sorry," I said. Jake just shrugged.

"Whatever. There's always Rachael," he grinned. I shook my head and laughed. But it wasn't real. I was racked with guilt. I'm such a bad friend.


	8. Chapter 8

8

**8**

**Finn – Thursday **

I practically flung myself in and out of the shower before throwing clothes on. I hadn't meant to sleep in so late but my alarm clock hadn't worked. I bolted out the door, reaching the bus stop just as the bus rolled in. Still panting, hair slightly wet, I jumped on and paid for a ticket. I arrived at school on time, thankfully, and reached form assembly just as our teacher read out my name. I found a seat at the back and gave a small wave to Issy and Rach. Issy smiled over her shoulder then went back to her conversation with Rachael. Was she playing hard-to-get? I wasn't sure. I waited for her as we began to move out of the room. We had spec maths together.

"Hi Finn," Is said when she saw me.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked.

"Good. You?"

"Not too bad," I told her.

"Issy!" someone called. Isabelle spun quickly, almost defensively. Josh hurried to meet us and said, "You left this behind." He handed her a sheet of paper. They stood, both holding it for a moment, watching, before Josh let go suddenly and ran the hand through his hair uneasily. Isabelle tucked the paper into her folder and turned back to me without a word to Josh. Wow, she really hated him.

"What did you do last night?" she asked, trying to start conversation.

"Nothing really," I answered. "A bit of homework. You?"

"Yeah, same really," she said. I noticed Josh was trailing. I guess that made sense since he was in the same class, but it was kind of unnerving. Issy and I just began talking. About school, homework, music and whatever. We got to class and found seats. Josh, strangely, sat next to Isabelle. She just ignored him.

"So have you got an answer for me?" I asked a little way in to the class.

"About what?" she asked shyly. For some reason she stole a look at Josh, to see if he was listening. He was.

"Can we do something this weekend? Or are you just going to leave me hanging?" I asked.

"I-" she began, but was cut off by Josh.

"Isabelle, did you get the answer for question five?" he asked.

"Umm… yeah," she said flipping through her work. Gee, thanks Josh. She explained the question to him directly, with no emotion in her voice. Then she turned on me. She was about to talk when Josh interrupted again,

"So are you two, like, together?"

"No," Issy said quickly.

"But you are going out on the weekend?" he pressed.

"Maybe," Isabelle answered.

"Maybe?" Josh asked, tone mocking.

"What do you want, Josh?" Issy said frustrated, turning to him.

"I was just wondering," Josh said with a fake sulk.

"Don't," Issy said sharply.

"Why not? It will be around the school by tomorrow anyway?" Josh informed her.

"Just shut-up, would you?"

"Why are you so shitty today?"

"I am not," Issy shot back. "It is just you."

"I doubt that," Josh said with a smile. "Unless I am the one that gets you all," he paused for dramatic effect and looked to me, "hot."

"Get your mind out of your pants," Issy retorted.

"Hey, you are the one with the dirty mind. I might have had a completely innocent meaning to what I said."

"Sure," Issy said sarcastically. "But innocent isn't really your style."

"It's certainly yours," Josh shot back. Issy gritted her teeth.

"What is your problem?" I asked Josh angrily.

"And if it isn't the wanna-be boyfriend coming in to stick up for his girl. And right on cue," Josh said with a mocking smile.

"He isn't my boyfriend," Issy said in an icy tone.

"Ouch, that must've hurt," Josh said to me.

"You really need to get some sort of a life, Josh. Stop living through someone else's," I retorted.

"I am not the one who is lusting over some chick who is nothing more than a tease," Josh said staring at Issy. Issy's face flushed red with anger and she exhaled a sharp breath.

"You're an asshole. You don't get to call Issy that," I said, seething.

"Oh, because you know both of us _so_ well," Josh said sarcastically. "I doubt you even know if Issy has any siblings."

"Yeah, well that just shows you know shit," I shot back.

"I need to get out. Away from you," Issy suddenly said to Josh. "Sorry, Finn." She looked at me apologetically and I nodded. She put her hand up. "Sir, can I get something from my locker?" My maths teacher just nodded and flicked his hand at Issy. She got up and moved to the door. Josh stood too and said,

"I need to get a drink." The maths teacher didn't even look up. Issy groaned and pushed her way out of the door.

"Don't even think about it," I hissed at Josh.

"What are you going to do about it?" Josh teased. He knew I wasn't about to cause a scene here and now. And I knew the teacher wouldn't let me go with both Issy and Josh. I mean, the teacher many not have given a shit about teaching, but he wasn't totally clueless. I figured Issy could handle herself. In fact, I knew she could. Still, it pissed me off. What was Josh's problem? And why did he always work Is up? I just hoped they didn't kill each other.

**Isabelle – Thursday **

We were having just another routine fights. Nothing special. And it was almost embarrassing with Finn sitting next to me. Not to mention the fact that Josh was still being really weird. I took a fast walk to the locker room, jangling my keys as I did. Josh followed me the whole way. Once we had reached the locker room I turned to face him.

"What do you want?"

"I want to know what your problem is?"

"My problem?" I spluttered. "You, Josh. You're my problem."

"Gee, thanks. I do love it how these kind comments always come from your mouth."

"Oh my God, Josh. You're such and ass. Just leave me alone," I said, slightly out of breath. I took a step back. Josh rolled his eyes and took a step forward.

"You're such a drama queen," he said.

"This coming from the guy who refused to be my partner to do a stupid assignment just because I rejected him in Year 7," I said angrily. "Still sore, Joshy," I said in mock sympathy and moved a little closer. Josh gave a frustrated sigh and looked away from me.

"It wasn't because I was sore, it is because I hated you and you're a pain in the ass."

"Oh, and you were _sooo_ accommodating to me."

"I swear, if you were any tighter, you would choke on your own tongue," Josh spat. "Loosen up. Go and screw Finn. Stop acting like a Year 7 playing spin-the-bottle."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, hurt.

"You know exactly what I mean. The way you prance around guys isn't cute. You're a tease. You play with guys; toy with them. And don't tell me you don't love it," Josh said with a little too much spite in his voice. He looked at me again. We were standing close. Our noses almost touching. I could even feel his hips brush mine. My breath caught in my throat. Did he mean what he had said? And it was so stupid because this was just Josh. The guy I fight with all the time. The guy I hate. Why should I care what he thinks?

"I'm not a tease," I said weakly. "Guys don't even like me, so how could I be a tease."

"If you actually think that, you are more naive than I thought," Josh said. He looked angry and annoyed. But also… disgusted. Now I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I blinked them back fiercely. I was not going to let Josh see me cry. Especially not Josh. I gulped and sniffed slightly.

"I don't understand what you are saying," I said, my voice breaking.

"You act differently around different guys. I can never tell who you like and who you don't. Sometimes you flirt, other times you act condescending. Or playful or laid back or uptight. Sometimes you're just plain nice. I don't know who you are," Josh said. He seemed a little less angry. Perhaps he could see I was on the verge of tears. I tried to remember how I acted around Finn. And how I acted around Josh. He was right. I did act different around different guys. But…

"You?" I questioned. Josh looked at me. He opened his mouth, ready to say something, but then shut it again. He was so close to me. Too close. I could even see the faint freckles sprinkled across his nose that were the reminder of the tall kid from Year 7 that had asked me out on the basketball courts. He looked away, his boyish features angry again. "Do you think I toy with you?" I asked him. It wasn't supposed to sound as seductive as it did. And it definitely wasn't meant to sound so suggestive. But even when it did, I didn't really mind. Maybe I was a tease.

"I…" I saw Josh gulp and then sigh. He looked at me again and our noses touched. My heart gave a jolt. What the hell was this? Sure, Josh had kissed me before, but he was just being a jerk. Why was I feeling like this? Why did I _want_ to kiss him? "I don't know," Josh muttered weakly. Then he brought his hand up to my face. Hesitantly, as if he waiting for me to pull away at any moment. I didn't. And I don't know why I didn't. Because I should have. I shouldn't have led Josh on. Made him think that kissing me was okay. Because it wasn't. It wasn't. He swept his fingers along the line of my jaw and let his hand rest on my cheek. My skin tingled where he touched. Oh my God. I felt weak at one touch. How pathetic. And I knew then, now is my chance to get out of this before it is too late. But I didn't. I didn't. And maybe it was because Josh was right. Maybe I was a tease. Or maybe because at that moment Josh looked really hot and was really turning me on. Then, his beautiful green eyes looking into mine, he leant down and pressed his lips to mine. Oh my God! Josh liked me! Josh is kissing me! Oh my God! And I'm kissing him back! The guy I hated – no, the guy I _hate_ is kissing me. And I'm kissing him back. And it feels awesome. It was weird though. Josh was rough and kind of fleeting. As if he was trying to do everything right, but had a time schedule. I didn't want him to let go. He brought one hand around my waist and pulled me into him. Even though I know this is a massive mistake, I let Josh kiss me. My body tingled all over. I felt like I had been hit by lightning. I couldn't help but put my hands around his neck. I even put one into his gorgeous black hair, gripping on to him, making sure he wasn't going let me go anytime soon. Oh my God. Josh is an awesome kisser. It was driving me crazy. I swear my whole body was going numb with adrenaline. I felt my knees weaken slightly, but Josh made up for it my holding onto me a little tighter. Oh my God, Josh is a magnificent kisser. Have I already said that? Because he really was a breathtaking kisser. Literally. But what about Finn? I like Finn, don't I? Josh even knows I have a crush on Finn. This is a disaster. If I know what is good for me, I should pull away and slap Josh. Oh my God, who cares about Finn when Josh kisses like this!

"Is?" a voice inquired. Josh and I jumped apart. He totally let me go. As in, he stands about a metre away from me. And I'm really disappointed. A kiss like that shouldn't end so… abruptly. Oh my God, Josh is an incredible kisser – just in case I didn't mention it before. "Should I remind you that you are at school and in full view of anyone who walks past the window? You are lucky the bell didn't go or everyone one would have caught an eyeful of you two going at it."

"Josh and I were not going at it," I hissed at Rachael. She was standing in the doorway of the locker room, hands on hips, with a huge grin on her face. I just realise I am really out of breath. And I'll take Josh's ragged breaths as an indication that he is too.

"From what I saw, it looked like you two were about to stop, drop and roll right now," Rachael laughed. Stop, drop and roll was, of course, code for sex. I could feel my face turning red. I couldn't even look at Josh. In fact, I kind of felt like I was about to throw up. And I was totally angry with Rachael. If she hadn't interrupted us we would have been able to kiss for longer. And right now that was all I wanted.

"I have to get to class," Josh mumbled in a deep, throaty voice. Even his voice sent my body into withdrawal. He had a really sexy voice. Harsh and rusty. Really sexy. I nodded without looking at him. I really didn't want him to leave. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to kiss him bad. He moved out of the locker room and past Rachael. I looked down at my feet.

"I would love an explanation," Rachael said as soon as Josh was out of earshot.

"Yeah, so would I," I muttered and went to my locker. Once I opened it I realised I didn't actually need anything out of it.

"I thought you liked Finn?"

"So did I," I said shutting my locker and standing. "What are doing here anyway?"

"Needed a break from Mr Contrel," Rachael shrugged. Mr Contrel was the resident loony teacher at our school. Sure, he was nice. But really weird.

"Right," I said.

"So what the hell happened?" Rachael asked exasperatedly. We began to walk.

"Well, we were fighting-"

"As usual," Rachael muttered. I gave her and glare and she said, "Sorry."

"And then Josh kissed me," I finished.

"It didn't exactly look like you had a problem with it," Rachael said with raised eyebrows.

"He was a good kisser," I shrugged uneasily.

"Is," Rachael said and stopped walking. She turned to face me. "Look, as a friend, I will warn you. You can't mess around with guys like this. You will get caught out." And there it was again. I didn't get it. I was not a tease. Guys didn't like me, full stop. I have never even had a real boyfriend. How can I be a tease?

"But…"

"You flirt with Finn. You kiss Josh. Make up your mind, girl," Rachael said as she continued to walk.

"You are right," I said with a sigh. I hate Josh. I like Finn. Stop messing around with Josh. Tell him there is nothing there and that I like Finn. "I will tell Josh I don't like him after school when he is at my place." Even if he is a spectacular kisser. I just hope he doesn't try to kiss me again. Because if he did, I would be totally screwed. I mean, he would have total control over me. What a sap I am.

"At your place?"

"He is coming over to do the assignment," I said.

"This is my stop," Rachael said reaching a classroom. She looked at me. "Just be careful."

**Josh – Thursday **

I kissed her! I kissed her and she kissed me back! She didn't pull away or slap me. She wanted me. She wants me! She doesn't hate me. She likes me. I took a breath to calm myself. That was possibly the best kiss ever. And the way she grabbed me was a real turn on. Oh my God. Is it bad that I kind of what to jump her? Not in that way. I mean I like her. I really like her. And she is so hot when she is angry. But what do I do now? What do I say? It was the end of the day and I was waiting for Isabelle to come out of the locker room. How should I say hello? I was going to her place to do our assignment. Was it going to be weird? She came out of the crowd, bag on back, talking to Stef. I caught her eye and she looked away. Stef then waved good-bye and Isabelle sauntered up to meet me.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hey," I answered. Something was wrong. Still, she looked pretty good with her messy end-of-the-day hair look. She had a few bits of her chocolate brown hair flopping in her eyes and her beautiful skin looked almost luminous. Maybe that was just me. I'm not sure. I couldn't help myself. I reached up and brushed one of the strands of hair away from her eyes. She gave a small frown of unease and I dropped my hand.

"Look," she said. "We need to talk." No. This was bad. This was very bad. She still hadn't even looked me in the eyes.

"Sure," I said, gulping back some fear.

"What happened today…" She finally looked up at me, blue eyes flitting around, as if looking for a distraction. Her face displayed one of nervousness. "Well, the thing is, I like Finn. You know that. And the kiss… was… well… I just don't like you that way. I am sorry." I stood stunned for a moment, realising everything was going down pretty fast.

"Right," I choked out.

"But… you know… no hard feelings," she said with a weak smile. My heart was sinking like the Titanic. What an idiot I was to believe she liked me. She hates me. As always. And what did she mean about no hard feelings? Of course there were hard feelings. She was screwing with me again. The way she had seductively said to me in the locker room, _Do you think I toy with you?_ And the way she had tilted her head towards me, parting her lips. _Do you think I toy with you?_ As if that wasn't suggestive. I began to get angry. She was playing with me. What a bitch. Suddenly I really didn't want to go to her place to the assignment.

"Sure," I said. "But I just remembered that I have to be home for a family thing. Sorry, I can't come around." Of course this was totally bogus. And totally obvious. But I didn't care.

"Oh," Isabelle's face dropped. Too bad. She had hurt me. Why should I care about her feelings? Screw her. "Okay. I guess we can just do it some other time."

"Sure," I said and turned away. And we could. I just was not feeling like putting up with Isabelle right now.

"Josh," I heard Isabelle call out to me. I stopped but didn't turn. "I'm sorry."

"Of course your sorry," I said. I twisted slowly. "But that is beside the point." People began staring at us. "You really are a tease. You make out with me in the lockers in fifth period then you go and pretend you are totally devoted to your crush on Finn. As if. I am just telling you that if you happen to change your mind _again_, I am not interested." Now whispers began. Isabelle looked like she might cry. I saw her gulp back tears.

"You were the one who kissed me," she said loudly.

"Oh, and you tried so hard to push me off," I said sarcastically. "In fact, in between kissing me back, I could have sworn you tried to stop me." Okay, that was harsh. But I was angry. I saw a tear. Just one fall from her left eye. It slipped from her eye and rested on her cheek. She didn't even try to brush it away. Instead she walked up to me. I didn't flinch but I had an idea what was going to happen. She slapped me, once, hard, across the face. I heard gasps from the crowd around us. They loved this, of course. It would the hot gossip of tomorrow. My face stung, but I turned my head to look at Isabelle again. Be damned if I was going to give her satisfaction.

"I hate you," Isabelle said slowly, pronouncing each syllable carefully. Even as she said this I thought about how hot she was looking. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Just for something new," I said sarcastically. Her lip trembled slightly, but she quickly bit it and turned away. Now I was feeling like shit. The crowd began to disperse, whispering about what had happened and what they thought was going to happen. I closed my eyes for a second and let what I had done sink in. The words, _I hate you,_ reverberated around in my head. Isabelle had said it to me heaps of times but this time it sounded more real. More final. I am such a screw up.

When I got home, I went straight to my room. I shut the door, threw my bag down and stuffed a Diffuser CD in my player. I skipped to _Here's To You_, and flung myself onto my bed, shouting out the lyrics. No one was home so I kept shouting.

_Here's to you, and all your loving thoughts,_

_Here's to you, your such a fucking whore, _

_Here's to you, for bringing me down,_

_Here's to you, I'm glad you're gone now,_

_Ain't it true what come around goes around._

I kept just playing the intro and shouting it out with my eyes closed. And with Isabelle in mind I shouted until my throat was hoarse. Although, it was one line that I knew was a total lie. _I'm glad you're gone now. _Because I wasn't. And I knew that she was. Gone, I mean. But still I couldn't get the kiss out of my head. The feeling of my hand around her waist and pulling her into my chest. Placing my hand on her cheek and knowing she was going to let me kiss her. Her gripping my hair. Her knees falling weak and me having to hold her even tighter. Isabelle was so screwing with my mind. I sat up and turned off the music. I went downstairs and got a glass of water. I heard the click of the door and turned my head to see who it was. My older brother entered the door, keys in his mouth and shopping bags in his hands.

"Mate, you wanna help me?" Chris said in a muffled voice. I walked to him and took some of his bags. We both went into the kitchen and put the bags on the table. Chris let out a breath and looked at me. Then he asked, "You okay?"

"Yeah," I said a little too quickly. "Why?"

"You look like… your eyes are watering," he said. I reached up and felt my cheeks and eyes. Oh my God. Had I been crying? Crying over a stupid girl. Please kill me now.

"It's nothing," I said.

"Yeah, right," Chris scoffed. "The last time you cried was in grade one when you broke your arm. Don't tell me this is nothing. Even when you dislocated your shoulder last year you didn't cry. You screamed a hell of a lot, but you didn't cry. What is up?"

"A girl," I said, defeated.

"A girl?" Chris sounded surprised. "Spill."

"I hate her."

"Okay, I have to say you have lost me. I thought this was going to be a story of you loving her," Chris said.

"I do."

"Right. You hate her and love her. Why didn't you say so before? That totally clears things up," Chris said sarcastically, but not in a mean way. I sat at the table and Chris sat opposite me.

"It is a long story. But basically, we both hated each other, until I started liking her," I said. Chris looked confused. "We got put together for an English assignment and we would fight everyday and call each other names and it worked out fine. You know. Us hating each other. And then I fell for her. I fell for her hard. But she happens to like this Army Brat that just moved here. Anyway, today I kissed her, and she kissed me back. I thought she liked me. Apparently not, because she ditched me and said she still liked the Army Brat. Then I said some stuff to her and she slapped me saying she hated me again. Which I guess was fair because I really said some shitty stuff." I took a breath. "That is it really."

"Wow," Chris said. "And I thought my life was complicated."

"Welcome to high school," I muttered.

"Hey," Chris said. "I have been there. I served my time."

"So what am I meant to do?" I looked up at Chris.

"How am I supposed to know?" Chris laughed. "I have enough trouble with girls. My own girlfriend ignores me most of the time for reasons I am expected to know – but don't – and the rest of the time she is yelling at me for the same reasons." Chris began to put the groceries away.

"But when ever I see you together you are always kissing or holding each other. What is that about?"

"Sure," Chris shrugged. "Girls are weird. A force never to be understood by us men. That is the way it is."


	9. Chapter 9

9

**9**

**Finn – Thursday **

Whoa. That was totally weird. The scene after school had totally stunned me. Isabelle liked me. Isabelle had also kissed Josh during fifth period. But she liked me. I have to say I was really excited about her liking me… but she kissed Josh. What was that about? I was totally confused. I had thought about chasing after her but thought better off it. Let her cool off. And she was probably embarrassed I knew about her liking me. Still the way she had slapped Josh and told him she hated him was so… scary. She really meant it. And it was said with so much spite. I had never heard Issy sound like that. But she liked me! The kiss mustn't have meant anything by the way she slapped Josh. No, she must like me. I realise how quiet it is sitting in my standard Army-house room. I grab my CD case and put the first CD I can find in the player. I listen to the first song. _Guster_ starts playing softly through my stereo. I laugh. This was the CD Isabelle gave me. The song is _Happier. _I can't help myself. With the music still playing I grab my phone. I quickly type a message.

_Hey Issy _

_Saw wat happnd 2day. Just want 2 check on u. R u alrite? Mayb u wanted to meet up with me. Perhaps at Café 390 in half hour? _

_Finn_

I put my phone on my bedside table and let myself fall into the music. I breathe in the lyrics and hold the moment. I am happy. Isabelle likes me and hopefully I will meet her at Café 390 in half an hour.

Say goodbye,

Lose your friends,

Make them go,

Don't need them around,  
'Cause it's time,

Lose your friends,

Make them go,

Was never supposed to be like this,  
They were too weak,

Too prone to break,  
Their needs too deep,

Their skin too thin,  
By now you took what was to take,  
Tear it apart and start again,

My phone beeped and it made me jump. Isabelle. I reached over for my phone and opened the message.

_Hey Finn _

_Im sorry u had 2 c that 2day. Thanks 4 worryin bout me. Im fine. But I would love to see you. Half hour at Café 390._

_Issy_

My heart jolted. She said yes. I jumped off my bed and threw off my school shirt. Did I smell? Did I have time for a shower? No. I sprayed myself with Lynx and took off my school pants. I found a relatively clean t-shirt – light blue with the words _The Cat Empire_ written on it – and threw it over my head. I found some jeans and slipped them on with a black belt and replaced my black school shoes with some sneakers. I looked in the mirror and fixed my hair a little. I didn't want to look like I had spent hours on it, but I didn't want to look like I had just woken up either. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. I walked back to my bedroom, checked my wallet to make sure I had enough cash then proceeded to the front door, stealing one of my sister's Tic Tac boxes from her room and chucking a couple in my mouth on the way. I grabbed my keys from the bowl beside the door and left the house. I caught the 513 bus to Café 390 and got there in just under half an hour. Issy hadn't arrived yet so I found a table for two and waited.

**Isabelle – Thursday **

I walked into the small café. The aroma of coffee hit me like a wave. Finn had asked me out. Finn! Had asked me! ME! I found him sitting at a table for two in the back corner. I walked to him and sat in the chair opposite. He looked good, his surfy blonde hair kind of wind blown.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi." There was an awkward silence before Finn said, "Err… you want a coffee?"

"I don't like coffee," I said.

"A milkshake or hot chocolate then?"

"A hot chocolate."

"Great." Finn called a waitress and ordered two hot chocolates. "If you don't mind me asking," Finn started just after the waitress left. "That fight you had with Josh… what was the kissing thing?"

"Josh had kissed me during fifth period. Why? I don't know, but he did," I sighed.

"But… you don't like him that way?"

"No. Did you see me slap him? I definitely don't like him that way."

"Good."

"Why is that good?" I said with what I hoped was a seductive smile.

"Because if you said you had liked him then this whole outing would have been a waste of time," Finn smiled. I felt myself blush. "You want to get out of here?"

"But what about our hot chocolates?"

"Who cares?"

"Okay," I said, excited. Finn stood, taking my hand and leading me out of the café. I followed, giggling slightly. "Where are we going?"

"It is a surprise," Finn said mysteriously. I laughed. He led me down a side street and past a train station.

"This isn't the part where you kill me and put my body in the boot of your car, is it?" I joked. Finn stopped walking and turned to face me.

"Funny," he said with a smile. "The only thing I could ever do to you is kiss you." My stomach lurched. I waited for him to lean forward and kiss me, but he didn't. He just squeezed my hand and pulled me on. I have to say I was a little disappointed he didn't kiss me. This was hot, gorgeous Finn and I wanted him. He kept walking until we ended up under a bridge I had never seen before. It was a scungy little cove with graffiti and beer cans everywhere.

"This is it," Finn said. I looked around, a little let down. I could faintly hear a train coming from somewhere. "Here," Finn said grabbing my hand. He placed it on one of the concrete walls covered in graffiti. He placed his own hand upon mine. "Close your eyes." I did. Then I felt it. A reverberation along my arm. It got stronger and stronger until my whole arm was shaking. I heard a train rush overhead and my heart pounded. Then suddenly I was spun around by Finn and he was kissing me. The vibrations of the train were still making the ground shake and the whole experience was really weird. Awesome, but weird. Finn's kisses were gentle. I hadn't expected that. I guess I was used to Josh's hard, sharp, rough kisses. But this was Finn. Oh my God! Finn. Was. Kissing. ME! He was kissing me! He wanted me! I thought about his thick, messy black hair and deep green eyes. His tall body and strong arms. But this wasn't right. The hair was too thin to be Josh. The body was too short and he wasn't holding me as he should be. Then I pulled away quickly. And I looked into Finn's face. This wasn't Josh. It was Finn. Blonde haired, blue eyed, tanned, surfy Finn. What happened there? Did I just imagine I was kissing Josh? I don't understand. This was Finn. Hot, sweet, gentle Finn. The Finn I liked. The Finn I wanted. So why the hell was I thinking about Josh?

"What is it?" Finn asked.

"Err… nothing," I said hastily. "Kiss me again." And he did. And this was right. Finn. Soft slow Finn.

Laying awake on my bed, I felt like crap. Sure, I was totally psyched out about kissing Finn, but I couldn't get Josh's kiss out of my head. I kept replaying it over and over in my head analysing when and why I didn't pull away. That was when I heard the stones hitting my window. Oh my God. Finn! That was my first reaction. Finn was doing the whole throwing-stones-on-my-window thing. And as cliché as it was I was excited. It was so cute. I jumped up and ran to my window, sliding it open. That was when my heart dropped. It wasn't Finn. It was Josh.

"Josh," I said tiredly. "What are you doing here?"

"Look," he began, speaking in a rush. "I am really sorry. And I know what I said to you today was shitty. But you have to know I didn't mean it. It was spur of the moment and I was angry 'cause you totally blew me off. And I know that isn't an excuse, but will you please come down and talk to me." I looked down at his boyish features, which had become a look of pleading. He was wearing a tight t-shirt which totally showed off his muscles. Give a girl a break. How was I supposed to say no? But I knew I if went down there it would end in disaster. I closed my eyes and took a breath. "Please," Josh begged, in a hushed whisper, voice – like his kisses – rough and scratching. A total turn on. This wasn't fair. "I won't try anything." He held his hands up in the air with an innocent look on his face. I gave a small laugh and sighed.

"I'll be down in a sec." I slipped on some shoes and put on a bra (I wasn't about to go free range in front of Josh, thanks). I crept quietly down the stairs and out the back door, making sure to keep it unlocked. Josh had been sitting on the old swing Ryan had made my bro and I when we were younger, and jumped up as I came outside. It was kind of cold actually. I was only in my old Elvis t-shirt and my favourite spotty pyjama pants. And both of these garments were very thin. "How did you get in here anyway?" I asked Josh.

"Jumped the fence," he said.

"Oh," I said impressed. Josh just shrugged. "So what did you want to tell me?"

"Err… well, I hadn't quite figured it out it," Josh said, his face twisted in to a look of nervousness.

"Josh," I sighed. "I really don't have time for this."

"Okay," he said. "I just wanted to get to you before you did anything with Finn. I wanted to say sorry, but I kind of already did that…" Josh looked at the ground. "I like you," he said suddenly. "But I guess that was kind of obvious. And I just wanted to know if… if you really did like Finn. Because if you do, I guess… I will leave you alone. But if you don't…" He trailed off and looked at his feet again.

"I had dinner with Finn today," I said softly. And I had. After he had kissed me under the bridge – softly and sweetly – so unlike Josh – he had taken me to a fancy restaurant where we talked and laughed. Apart from the one slip up of me thinking I was kissing Josh, it had been a great night. This comment made Josh look at me.

"Oh," he said in a hurt tone. "So… does that mean you like him… better than me?" Josh looked at me, green eyes gazing into mine. He took a step closer to me. Then another. Then another. I stepped back, hitting the wall behind me. He took another, rather large, step. He was close now. Too close. I could feel his breath on my forehead.

"I…" But I didn't finish my sentence because Josh was kissing me. Up against the brick wall. That amazing kiss. One arm around my waist and the other in my hair. No. I liked Finn. I pushed Josh hastily and he pulled away. "I am going out with Finn," I said. "Seriously, you're wasting your time, Josh."

"You must be mistaken," Josh said looking at me intensely, hardly blinking. "I'm not joking, Issy. This… I am completely serious."

"You're crazy," I said, suddenly angry. "What do you take me for? Some kind of easy target? Someone you can brag about to all your little friends?" Then Josh laughed, I could feel the air on my brow. His laugh was deep and echoing and made my heart leap. I didn't get it. What was so funny?

"You're so smart, but I swear, you've got me all wrong," he said in a gravelly voice. It was so sexy when he did that. I looked at Josh. The always tall Josh. The strange boy who had asked me out in Year 7. The annoying guy I hated in Year 9. And now, the hot guy that I was forced to do my English project with. With his boyish face, light freckles and bright green eyes. The thick black hair that always looked messy. Josh. The Josh. The Josh I hated but couldn't seem to stop kissing.

"Is that so? Then tell me, what exactly have I got wrong?"

"Everything," Josh said. "But you have got me with one kiss." He looked down at me and brought a hand to my face. He gently ran his fingers across my lips and down my neck. I closed my eyes and felt my skin tingle at his touch. I heard myself sigh as Josh's fingers made their way across my collarbone. That was when I said,

"Who cares about Finn?" and threw my arms around Josh's neck, kissing him passionately. Josh kissed me back. Slow at first, then harder. Oh my God, this was good. This is the kind of kiss I want. Hard and rough. Josh's kiss. If I haven't said it before, Josh is possibly the best kisser ever. Then he began to make his way down my neck, his lips gently caressing my skin. My whole body began to buzz and I really was having trouble breathing. As Josh kept kissing my neck and moving along my collarbone – like he had with his fingers – I let out an involuntary groan. And this time, I really did want it to be Josh kissing me. I didn't have a thought about Finn and I didn't feel guilty at all. In fact, all I could think about was Josh. I could feel my heart beat faster and I was sure Josh would be able to feel it thumping in my chest. His hand moved to the small of my back, under my t-shirt, and snaked its way up to my bra strap. I hardly noticed. Josh moved back up to my lips and resumed tonguing me. His other hand left my hair and went to my waist. He slipped it up under my shirt and moved it along my side, stopping when he reached just under my armpit. I almost melted then and there. I think I must have slumped a little or something because Josh pushed against me harder, turning me on even more. And suddenly, I wasn't cold anymore. I was burning up. I slid my arms from Josh's neck, running them over his gorgeously hard chest and carved abs. I felt the bottom of his shirt and reached under it, beginning to lift it slowly. Josh got the idea as he released me and let me pull of his t-shirt quickly. I swept my hands back up over his – now bare – chest and wound them around his neck and into his hair, kissing him huskily again. I moved my hands again, from Josh's neck, to around his hips, and we carried on kissing. Once again, Josh began kissing my neck. But this time he kept moving down into the cleft of my breasts. I let out another groan and closed my eyes. I had no thoughts. My head was totally clear. All I could see blackness. All I could smell was Josh. All I could hear was my short sharp breaths and Josh's long rasping ones. All I could taste was Josh's sweet tongue in my mouth. All I could feel was Josh's burning skin and solid lips. I was totally consumed with Josh.

It was a long time before we finally broke apart. And it wasn't until after Josh had totally felt me up did we pull away from each other, placing our heads to the side so our cheeks touched. We were both breathing deeply, pushed up against one another, on the brick wall, in the darkness of the night.

"Perhaps I should go home," Josh suggested, his voice husky and rugged. He sounded so sexy like that. I took a gulp of air.

"That would probably be a good idea," I panted. But again, it was a long time before Josh actually pulled away from me. He slipped his hands out from behind me and cupped my chin gently in his fingers. He softly pressed his lips against mine, kissing me once, tenderly. The kiss lingered for a moment, and then Josh pulled back. He dropped his hands, brushed a strand of hair from my eyes, like he had done and school, then took a step back. He grabbed his shirt from the ground where I had thrown it, and slipped it over his head. I was shaking all over and my head was buzzing. Not to mention I felt a little weak at the knees. He shuffled around uncomfortably for a few seconds, looking embarrassed. I looked down at realised why. I couldn't help but smile. It was obvious I had turned Josh on. A lot.

"Good bye," he said hurriedly. And he was gone. Leaping over my fence and into the night.

**Josh – Thursday **

I got in late. Really late. Too late. I tried to be quiet… but Chris caught me. Of course Chris caught me.

"What the hell were you doing out this late? It is a school night!" Chris demanded. But only quietly. He didn't want to wake Mum and Dad.

"Errr… lost track of time," I shrugged.

"That is crap. Absolute crap. It is past twelve."

"What do you want me to say?" I sighed.

"I don't know, Josh," Chris sighed back. "You have been weird lately. That's all."

"Well, I am fine." More than fine actually. Kissing Issy was amazing. The best thing I had ever felt. I shook just thinking about it.

"_Seriously, you're wasting your time, Josh," she said._

"_You must be mistaken," I told her, looking into her eyes. "I'm not joking, Issy. This… I am completely serious."_

"_You're crazy," she said, suddenly angry. "What do you take me for? Some kind of easy target? Someone you can brag about to all your little friends?" I had laughed, and Issy frowned slightly. _

"_You're smart, but I swear, you've got me all wrong," I said. It was the first thing that had come to my head. Issy looked at me, as if she was examining me. _

"_Is that so? Then tell me, what exactly have I got wrong?" _

"_Everything," I said. "But you have got me with one kiss." I looked down at her and brought a hand to her face. I gently ran my fingers across her lips and down her neck. She had closed her eyes and let out a sigh as my fingers made their way across her collarbone. I wasn't sure why I had done that; I just felt the need to touch her. That was when she said,_

"_Who cares about Finn?" and threw her arms around my neck, kissing me, overwhelmingly. I kissed her back. Of course I kissed her back. I didn't even like Finn. I had no obligation to him. I kissed her slowly at first, then harder. I could tell she liked it. She was all over me. And I just kept kissing her. Fierce and indulgent. I began to make my way down her neck, my lips delicately tracing the vein in her neck that I could feel pulsing. I could hear Isabelle's breaths and she was almost gasping for air. I kept kissing her neck, and began moving along the collarbone – like I had done with my fingers. And I heard Issy take in a deep breath before letting out a groan. I moved my hand to the small of her back, under her t-shirt, and stumbled around looking for her bra-strap. I don't even think Issy noticed. I lifted my head and brought my lips back to Issy's. My other hand left Issy's hair and I put it on her waist, slipping it up under her shirt. I slithered it along her side, resting just beside Issy's breast. I felt Issy slump slightly against me. I pushed my body against her harder and she sighed again. She slid her arms from my neck, running them over my chest to the bottom of my shirt. I shivered as her hands passed over my body and I pressed against Issy again. She slowly took my shirt and began to lift it. I got the idea and released Issy for a moment so she could almost rip the shirt over my head. She swept her hands back up over my bare chest and wound them around my neck and into my hair, kissing me brusquely again. Then she moved her hands again, from my hair, to around my hips, and we carried on kissing. It was almost bothering me to have her hands there. Not that I didn't like it. I did. But it wasn't exactly helping me exercise restraint. I began kissing Issy's neck again. But this time I kept moving down into the centre of her breasts. I didn't mean to. I guess I just did. Issy didn't seem to mind though, because she let out another groan and closed her eyes. And I wasn't really thinking. I was just there. And it felt good not to think. To just enjoy Issy. Because she wanted me. This wasn't something you could fake. _

Chris had let my little night jaunt slide. He didn't even ask that much about it. I had told him it was about a girl and all he said was that if it was sex I had to use protection. I was utterly embarrassed and said it wasn't sex. We weren't even a couple. Not yet anyway. Chris had just mumbled something under his breath about not needed to be a couple to have sex. I had mumbled something about not being that kind of guy. Not with Issy anyway. I wasn't about to wreck this – well… whatever I had with her – just because I wanted sex. No way. Then Chris and I had said good night. He was my older brother after all.

The next day at school was all whispers. But yesterday in the locker room felt so long ago. Still, the whispers were annoying.

_Did they really kiss? _

_But I thought…_

_Are they going out? _

_No way!_

_What about Finn? _

_I saw them…_

_What about Josh?_

_Yeah, I have a friend who knows her and… _

_What about Issy? _

_I heard that they…_

_Really?_

_Still, I just can't believe… _

_Oh my God!_

_That is, like, so…_

_Seriously?_

_How many guys does she need?_

_Well, I mean, sure…_

_Whatever…_

_I think he is a jerk…_

_I think she is a total tease…_

_I know…_

_How many girls does he need?_

_What a-_

It was as if we were the only things people could talk about. I could feel the stares and cupped hands with hushed words. Didn't people have their own lives? Apparently not. I knew the next class with Issy was fourth. Just before lunch. And with all the rumours I didn't really want to approach her at recess. I could wait. So I thought. Until I got to form group. I walked in and my eyes immediately found Issy. She was surrounded. No hope of getting to her. She had Finn on one side and Rachael on the other. I felt my gut clench with jealousy as I eyed Finn and made a move to sit with Jake on the other side of the room. He was his usual chirpy self, but I was only half listening.

"…Issy," I heard Jake say and my brain actually registered something.

"Huh?"

"I asked, why you are staring at Issy?" Jake said, eyebrows raised.

"I wasn't," I said.

"What were you staring at then?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired. That's all," I said, turning my full attention on Jake. Still, Finn was bothering me. Was she still with him? Surely not after last night. No way.


	10. Chapter 10

Finn – Friday

**Finn – Friday **

Why was Josh staring at Isabelle? Why did he keep giving me evil looks and/or the cold shoulder. I mean, I know we weren't ever friends, but what was going on? What was his problem? I hadn't done anything to him. Except maybe take Issy. But I still didn't get it. Josh had hated Issy. And Issy hated Josh. Since when did he suddenly care about her? I just didn't get it.

"What do you have now?" Issy's voice broke me from my thoughts. And I realised everyone was getting up. I stood quickly, picking up my books.

"I have English Lit. You?" I asked her, as we made our way out of the classroom.

"Maths. Crap!" Issy exclaimed. "I have a test. I totally forgot. I didn't study at all."

"Hey, don't worry," I told her, taking her hand. She looked at me with a smile, then quickly looked around uneasily. I followed her gaze and saw Josh walking behind us. He had a stony look on his face and his jaw was set. Issy quickly looked away from him and back to me. "You will do fine, you always do," I said, referring to the maths test. She gave an uneasy laugh. I squeezed her hand and then let go. "I am down this way. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, sure," Issy nodded and moved away. I turned toward where my classroom was, and I had only taken two steps when I felt something slam into the back of me, sending my books – and me – flying. I managed to stick my hands out in front of me, before I fell flat on my face, as I tumbled to the ground. I got up quickly and spun around. Josh. He was walking calmly beside me, as if nothing happened.

"Josh!" I called. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Nothing," Josh said, turning to face me, tall figure towering over me. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

"I know that was you," I said icily. Jake was standing a little behind Josh, looking worried.

"Come on, Josh," Jake said. "Just leave it."

"No, I want to know what Josh has against me," I said. Then Issy was at my side, taking my hand and dragging me just out of earshot.

"Hey, Finn," she said in a soothing voice. "Don't worry about Josh. He is just being a pain. You know how he is."

"That doesn't mean he needs to take it out on me," I said.

"Yeah, I just… I don't want to see you get hurt," Issy said, taking my hand. I sighed.

"Sure, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault. Just… be careful."

"I will," I said, then gave Isabelle a peck on the lips before turning around, to collect my books. Once I had stood, I took a quick glace at the scene. People were milling around – no doubt waiting for a fight or something to gossip about. Josh was standing about ten metres away, by Jake, staring at Issy. Issy was looking back at him, and I could have sworn I saw a slight shake of her head before she said,

"I have to go," and turned away. I watched Issy leave, then made my way to the classroom, ignoring Josh's gaze.

"So you and Issy are together?" Ethan asked during woodwork after recess.

"Yeah, sort of," I shrugged. I hated it when gossip was on me. But I guess that is just what happens when you go out with someone at your school. You are hot topic until the next hook-up or break-up.

"Cool," Ethan nodded. It was obvious he wasn't used to these conversations. But then, neither was I.

"When did you ask her out?" Martin asked.

"Um… yesterday."

"She is pretty cool," Liam said. I didn't really know what to say. This conversation was awkward enough. "Now we just have to get Martin to get enough guts to ask Stef out."

"Hey," Martin said, sounding offended. "She is coming to the party with me next week."

"But only as a _friend_," Liam teased.

"Yeah, well you I don't see you with the balls enough to ask Hayley," Martin

shot back. Liam's usually smiling face dropped and it became dark.

"Shut up," Liam hissed. Whoa. That was a new development. "I don't like her."

"Yeah, right," Martin said with a roll of his eyes. I almost laughed. But I held it in. I was just glad the conversation had been steered away from me.

**Isabelle – Friday **

The classroom began to empty. It was fourth period and everyone was eager to get to lunch. I packed up as fast as I could. But I had talked to the teacher and got stuck being polite. Josh on the other hand packed up slowly. The teacher left saying,

"Just lock the door behind you." I nodded and stood the moment he left. I needed to get out of here. I wasn't about to be left alone with Josh in a classroom. Not a good idea. Especially if I was backtracking already. I picked up my books and almost ran to the door. But when I was a few metres away I felt Josh's strong hand on my arm. He spun me around, my books flying from my arms, and brought me close to him, taking me into an incredible kiss that made me fall into his arms as my knees buckled beneath me. It was only a quick kiss and soon – too soon for my liking – had Josh pulled his lips from mine and held me in a hug. And as much as my body screamed to kiss him again I forced myself to say no.

"How are you?" Josh asked, as if we were just having a normal everyday conversation and we hadn't just kissed. I wanted to say I was completely melting over him, but I couldn't. And I wouldn't. I felt so guilty about yesterday. For Finn. He had been so good to me, and what had I done? Cheated on him. Twice now.

"What the hell did you think you were pulling today with Finn?" I asked – still not moving from my place in Josh's arms – but trying to sound angry. I felt safe when I was with him. I felt right. But I felt guilty too. Really guilty.

"It was an accident," Josh said with a roll of his eyes.

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" I said, frustrated.

"Look, I'm sorry. But he was being annoying."

"He was holding my hand!"

"Yeah, and I found that annoying," Josh said irritably.

"Well, technically he is my boyfriend," I told him.

"Huh?" Josh asked.

"You knew that!" I said, exasperated.

"But I thought…"

"Look," I said, pulling away from Josh's embrace. "I have to go. I need to see my maths teacher about my terrible attempt at a test today. Can we do this later?" I have to say I said it with a whole lot more confidence than I felt at that moment. Actually, I felt a little sick.

"Fine," Josh said releasing me. He had annoyed, determined look on his face, and his lips were pressed together. "I'll see you later then." Then he picked up his books and walked out of the classroom. I didn't move. I didn't watch him leave. I took a breath and closed my eyes, counting to ten. Then I picked up my books from the floor and left the classroom.

"Don't mean to pry," I heard a voice from behind me say. I turned to see Jake, looking hot as usual, leaning against the outside wall of the classroom, arms crossed over his chest, looking intently at me. "But what exactly is the deal with you and Josh?"

"Nothing." I found myself going into defensive mode. Which I guess was kind of stupid because Josh would have told Jake. Wouldn't he?

"Because I think there is. And Josh sure as hell hasn't said anything," Jake said indignantly. I watched him carefully, looking for something.

"Why wouldn't he have told you?" I asked.

"Because… because… I like you," Jake said softly, losing the usual confidence in his voice.

"What?" I squeaked. What was wrong with the world? How did I mange to have the resident hot player like me, as well has the hot new surfer and the guy I fight with? This isn't right. I never get guys. What is going on? What alternate universe was I in? Why is this so screwed up?

"But from what I can see, I think you guys are pretty much together," Jake said looking at his feet.

"No," I said quickly. "We are not together. I am with Finn."

"Finn?" Jake said looking quizzical. "Then why the hell were you just pashing Josh?"

"I… well… actually it was him pashing me," I said lamely.

"You didn't exactly try too hard to push him away."

"Yeah… well…" I didn't know what to say. What was I supposed to say to the best friend who had a crush on me? Well, Josh is a good kisser and I am a sap. I don't think so.

"You like him?"

"I…" And this was the first time I had been directly asked. I had no idea how to answer. Did I like him? Did I like him? But even when I was with Josh, and every cell in my body ached for him, I still thought of Finn and how I was betraying him. Did that mean I liked Josh, or just liked kissing him? "I don't know." Because I didn't.

"Right…" Jake said. "And what do you plan to tell Josh and Finn?"

"I don't know." Because I didn't.

"That is a good plan," Jake said sarcastically. And then I began talking. I told Jake about everything. Everything. From the first week of school. The day Finn arrived, the day of the assignment. Kissing Josh and going out with Finn. Everything. And it came out easily. Jake was quiet as I told him the story. He made faces every now and again. Anger came trough I few times, but he stayed quiet. When I finished, a silence descended over us and felt tears begin inside me. I blinked them back, but it wasn't working. And they spilled over. I dropped my books and brought my hands to my face, desperately trying to wipe away the tears. And Jake hugged me. It felt weird but nice. And he held me as I cried. When I was done I pulled away and smiled at him.

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem," Jake answered.

"I am sorry."

"So am I?"

"Why?"

"Because Josh really likes you," Jake said sincerely. "He hasn't said it, but I can tell. And… well… from what you have said, I think you like him too."

"I… I just don't know."

"I think you do. Just be careful, Issy."

"Sure," I nodded. "I'll try." The bell went and I picked up my books again.

"I have to get to class," Jake said. I nodded again and said,

"Thanks." Jake just nodded and moved away. Even if he was a player, he was a good guy. A better guy than I ever gave him credit for. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad if Rachael went out with him. I still just couldn't believe that he liked me. I mean. He had always joked but it was never real. Now it just seemed surreal. I watched him round the corner before I stood up and brushed myself off. I was a mess. A giant mess. I needed to get to a bathroom to clean myself up. And I was going to be late for my next class. I looked to the sky. It looked like it might rain. I didn't mind. I liked rain.

**Josh – Friday **

I was walking towards the office when I saw Issy. She was alone – which for her was not very often. She had her head bent, hands in pockets, walking slowly. I watched her for a moment before making my way towards her. I took her by the waist and held her in my arms as she took a sharp breath in. She looked at me and smiled, before nuzzling my shoulder. We were behind the old storeroom so there was no one around. I could smell her hair and I took a deep breath. Then Issy pulled away and looked at me, blue eyes studying.

"Josh," Issy sighed, as if she was about to say something huge. "This whole thing is really annoying me."

"What is? Me kissing you?" I said in a low voice. Issy's mouth opened slightly, and I saw her blush. She turned her head and tried to regain herself.

"No," she said, still not looking at me. "Not that part." I smiled. I loved it when she got speechless.

"What then?"

"Sneaking around. I hate it. I feel terrible," she said, finally looking at me again.

"So?"

"So…" She looked like she was struggling for words. I frowned, not understanding what she was getting at. "Maybe… I don't know. We just shouldn't do this at school."

"What does that mean? Not in front of Finn?"

"I don't know," Issy said looking at the ground.

"I'm not going to be that other guy," I said, suddenly angry. "You're not going to use me like that just because you like me kissing you."

"I'm not using you," Issy said weakly.

"If you keep going out with Finn, then yes, you are using me."

"I… I…" Issy stuttered. It began to drizzle and I watched the small drops of water land on her hair, settling like little diamonds.

"Issy," I said to her. "You're driving me crazy. I've told you how I feel, but you keep…" I took a breath. "You go out on dates with Finn, but you make out with me in empty classrooms and out the back of your house. What do you want?"

"I… I don't know, Josh," she said taking a breath.

"You can't have both. And if you keep doing this you'll have neither," I said angrily.

"I'm just confused," she said, tears welling up in her eyes. "Finn is so sweet, but when you kiss me…" It began to rain harder, soaking Issy's hair and clothes. Her fringe stuck to her forehead and her tears flowed with the rain. My God, she looked so beautiful. Sad, but really beautiful. I reached up to push some of the wet hair out of her face. She turned her head away and whispered,

"I don't know." I dropped my hand.

"Close your eyes," I told her. She looked at me with a slight frown. "Trust me." She nodded and closed her eyes. I put on hand on her waist and the other around her back. She rested her head on my shoulder and I whispered,

"Who do you want?"

"I don't know," she answered. She tried to pull her head away but I put it back and said,

"Keep your eyes closed." She did. "Imagine you are lost. It is night and it is raining. There are empty streets around you and you are scared and cold and wet." I paused. Isabelle still had her eyes closed and I could still hear her crying. The rain was soaking through my thin school jumper but I didn't care. I had Issy. "Who do you want to be there? Who do you want to find you and tell you it will be okay? Who to you want to hold you and kiss your hair? Who are you thinking of now?"

"I…" Isabelle began. She lifted her head off my shoulder and looked at me with her cloudy blue eyes. She had red rims around her eyes from the tears but she still looked amazing, rain dripping off her nose. "You Josh. I want you to be there."

"What about Finn?" I asked.

"Josh, I don't care about Finn. All I want is you. Only you," she said. And then I was kissing her. I brought a hand into her wet hair and she slid her hands over my shoulders. With my other hand I pulled her into me. I moved my lips down to her neck, remembering the other night. She said my name softly and gripped the back of my neck. I was so desperate to move further down into her school dress but stopped myself. I pulled away from her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"We are at school," I said a little out of breath. "Perhaps we should tone it down a little."

"Oh," she said disappointed. "What do we do now?" We still hadn't let go of each other so I leant down so our foreheads were touching.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Finn?"

"But you said…" I trailed off in realisation. "You aren't going to leave him, are you?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"He's been really good to me," she said looking down. I pulled away from Isabelle, anger boiling up in me.

"Shit, Isabelle," I almost shouted. Isabelle cringed. "What the hell do you want from me? You just told me you didn't care about Finn."

"Do you really think this would ever work?" Issy said anger working its way into her voice. "We fight all the time. We hate each other. We call each other names and shout. Look at us now! Do you actually think this will work? Ever?"

"But have you ever thought that this is passion? Our fighting is passion."

"It is just fighting, Josh. It is, what it is."

"You… you don't feel… anything for me?" I asked.

"I… I… I don't know, Josh. I don't know what I feel for you. But I know what I feel for Finn."

"Oh," I said sarcasm dripping from my voice. "Of course. You love Finn, don't you? That is why you sneak out here to kiss me and tell me you only want me, right?"

"See, what I mean. We fight all the time. We can't even have a conversation without fighting."

"Jesus Christ, Isabelle," I shouted. "I love you!" That was when she took a step back.

"Love?" she asked.

"What did you think? Gee, Isabelle, I have loved you since Year 9," I told her. Isabelle took another step back.

"You hated me."

"I thought I did. But I didn't. It just took me some time to realise it. And it was easier hating you. Everything was fine when I hated you. It wasn't until I worked out I loved you that things became screwed up."

"I… I don't…" She stopped. "Love?"

"Do you love me?" I heard myself ask.

"I… I… love?" she thought aloud. "I… don't…" The bell rang loudly around the school grounds. Isabelle looked at her feet then said quickly, "I have to go." And she was gone. I was left behind the old storeroom, in the pouring rain, alone.


	11. Chapter 11

11

**11**

**Finn – Friday **

I waited for Isabelle after school. She came out of the lockers with Kiara. They were both laughing, but Isabelle's laugh was weak. Fake even. There was something wrong. After Kiara left I hurried to Is.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She gave me a confused look.

"Yeah," she said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem down, that's all. Are you sure you are okay?"

"I am just worried about this English thing," she said. I took one of her hands and squeezed it. She gave me a grateful smile.

"Don't worry about Josh," I told her. "It will be fine."

"Sure," she said smiling.

"Do you want a lift home? My dad is picking me up today."

"Yeah," Isabelle said, looking at the drizzle. "That would be good." I said a quick good bye to a few people, then led Isabelle to my dad's huge four wheel drive. He was sitting in the front seat, still in his Army uniform, looking serious. I got in the back seat with Isabelle.

"Hey Dad," I said to him. "This is Isabelle. Can we give her a lift home?"

"Sure," Dad said. "I'm Kevin."

"Hi," Isabelle said shyly. Dad moved out of the parking lot and I said,

"Isabelle lives opposite the park."

"Great," he said. I turned my attention to Isabelle. She looked distracted and uncomfortable, if it was possible to be both at the same time. I reached out for her hand. She squeezed it and rested her head on my shoulder. My heart gave a lurch and I checked my dad in the mirror. He looked over at us and his face became one of displeasure. I ignored him.

Once we had dropped Isabelle off I got in the front seat. Dad immediately began talking.

"I am unhappy about that girl," he said.

"Why?"

"Because of the way she did that… in the car…" I don't think Dad really knew how to explain the head-resting thing. And he was really uncomfortable with it.

"It was nothing," I told him. "Issy is just having a rough time at the moment."

"Is she just a friend?"

"No… she is a little more than that."

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"Not quite," I said.

"What does that mean?"

"We are kind of in… limbo," I explained. Dad rolled his eyes and said,

"Teenagers these days."

"You worry way too much Dad," I said and rolled my eyes back at him. "It isn't a big deal. I'll be careful."

When I got in the front door, Kayla was at the kitchen window, staring at something outside. I walked and stood next to him.

"What are you looking at?" Kayla jumped about a foot in the air as I said. I couldn't help laughing. She gave me a small punch on the arm.

"Jerk," she muttered. I looked out the window again, and I found the source of Kayla's stare.

"Those guys are way too old for you," I said. There were three guys waiting at the bus stop across the road.

"No, they aren't," Kayla protested. I grabbed a glass of water.

"They are older than me," I said. "That is too old." Kayla just poked her tongue out at me. I rinsed my glass out, and put it on the sink. As I began to make my way to my room I was almost bowled over by Jasmine.

"Hi, Finn," she said excitedly from the tops of my thighs. I gave her a quick hug. "Guess what I did at kinder today?"

"What?" I asked her.

"We got to read _Miss Buttons_. The _whole_ book," she said, eyes wide. I laughed.

"That is great," I said and unstuck her from my legs. She ran down the hall, possibly to tell Kayla about _Miss Buttons._ I made my way to my room, but as soon as I opened the door, I sighed.

"You have a girlfriend," Georgia said as-a-matter-a-factly.

"You are too smart for your age," I said to the grade sixer who was sitting on my bed. She shrugged.

"Does Dad know?"

"Yes," I said and put my bad on the floor. I took off my school shirt and replaced it with a cotton t-shirt.

"Mum?"

"I don't know," I said glaring at her. "Have you told her yet?"

"I think you should tell her," Georgia said ignoring my jibe.

"Look, she isn't even technically my girlfriend yet. Just give me some time, will you? And space would be good too. Get out of my room."

"But I have to share my room with Jasmine. When do I get my own room?" she complained.

"Look," I said grabbing Georgia by the shoulders and making her stand. "Kayla is at the kitchen window perving on some guys that are too old for her. Why don't you go and tell her off?" I steered her towards the door.

"I know. And I already told her off. She just yelled at me. And anyway, I think one of them is your friend. James or Josh or something. You were with him after school a few days ago when Mum came to pick you up and take Jasmine to dancing. Remember?"

"Oh, I remember," I said gritting my teeth. It was my first little tiff with Josh. I kind of forgot Georgia at that moment because I walked out of my room and back to the kitchen window. I had a better look out the window, pushing Kayla out of the way slightly.

"Pleeeze don't tell me you are gay," Kayla said in an exasperated voice. "I do not want to have to compete with you as well." I rolled my eyes at her and stared out the window. It was definitely Josh. Jake was there too. The third guy was Al – someone from my maths class.

"He's not gay," I heard Georgia say. "He has a girlfriend."

"Really?" Kayla said looking at me. "Who? Do I know her?"

"I doubt it," I growled. Josh was leaning against the bus stop pole, hands folded over his chest. His face was blank and he looked upset. Jake punched him arm playfully and said something with a grin. Josh just shrugged him off. Since I couldn't hear what they were saying it was kind of useless spying on them. I sat down and the kitchen table and flicked up my phone.

"So who is the girl?" Kayla asked.

"If you really must know, her name is Isabelle," I said typing a hasty message.

_Hey Issy,_

_I was wonderin if u wanted 2 catch up tomoro. Go c a movie or get somethin to eat? Ur choice._

_Finn_

I pressed send and put my phone back in my pocket.

"Pretty name," Kayla said. "Is she in your grade?"

"Yes," I said standing.

"When can I see her?"

"You won't." I moved down the hall and towards my bedroom. Kayla followed.

"Why?" Kayla asked in an outraged tone.

"Because you are a pain the ass," I said and shut my bedroom door in her face.

**Isabelle – Saturday **

I closed my eyes and slowly opened them. I took in a deep breath and pressed the _next_ button on my Ipod. _Why Do You Love Me? _by_ Garbage_ came blaring out my headphones. Was the whole world just trying to rub it in? Even so, the rowdy drums and obnoxious electric guitars sounded good.

_Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy_

_I get back up and I do it again_

_I think you're sleeping with a friend of mine,_

_I have no proof but I think that I'm right,_

_And you've still got the most beautiful face,_

_It just makes me sad most of the time,  
_

I quickly changed the song after those lyrics. The thing was, I felt like the song was about me. Finn and Josh still liked me even though they knew I was cheating. Well, Finn didn't. But I am sure he will find out soon. What is wrong with me? And Josh had said he loved me. LOVED ME! _Why do you love me, it's driving me crazy. _Things were beginning to make more sense. Just some of the little things he had done over the years. Or even the big things. I sighed loudly. What was I going to do? Josh loved me. But I didn't love him. I mean, I am pretty sure I felt something for him, but it wasn't love. We were too… we fought all the time. We got so angry. That wasn't love. It was strong feelings, but not love. I tried to picture me fighting with Finn. Never. I couldn't see it. I tried to picture Josh being sweet like Finn. I also couldn't see it. But I couldn't exactly see Finn kissing me in the middle of the night or behind the old storeroom while it was pouring rain. And what about what Josh had said to me? He had asked who I would want when I was scared. And it had been Josh. I would want Josh to rescue me. But I would prefer to be home safe with Finn instead of lost in the first place. Did Josh really love me? What is love anyway? I sighed again. A _Yellowcard_ song came on. It was called _Only One_. Yes, I was definite being punished.

_Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you,  
You are my only one,  
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you,  
You are my only my only one,_

Here I go so dishonestly,  
Leave a note for you my only one,  
And I know you can see right through me,  
So let me go and you will find someone.  


And I thought of Josh. Cute, tall, smiley Josh. _Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you._ Because he did. _I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you. _Was that a sign? Did that mean I actually loved Josh and I was being an idiot for letting him go? Or did it mean Josh had to let me go so I could be with Finn? Oh my God! IT IS A SONG! It doesn't actually mean anything. My phone went off in my bag and I looked at it. It was a message. I stared at it as if I could will it to not be there. I knew the message would be from one of two people. Josh or Finn. After a mental debate on whether I could be bothered getting it I sighed and flipped the phone open. The message was from Finn. I scanned though the message. It read,

_Hey Issy,_

_I was wonderin if u wanted 2 catch up tomoro. Go c a movie or get somethin to eat? Ur choice._

_Finn_

I sighed. My heart didn't jump like it usually would if I had got a text message from Finn. And at the moment I didn't really think going out with Finn would be a great idea. I was confused enough already. But… it was Finn. Sweet, adorable Finn. I typed a quick reply that read,

_Hey Finn,_

_Of course I want 2 go out with you tomoro. Lets catch a movie._

_Issy_

Easy enough. I lay back down on my bed and closed my eyes. Josh's face entered my mind. God, he was so hot. Why did he do this to me? Love? LOVE? What was I going to do?

"Sure, Finn," I said, trying to feel enthusiastic. "Sounds good." But my thoughts were on Josh. Always on him. And I felt so stupid. Finn and I had just had lunch at a small café on Yale St – restaurant central. Then we had gone to the old movie theatre down the road. I didn't really care what we watched. As long as it had a story line I could concentrate on – instead of thinking about my Finn-Josh situation. We picked an action movie that no doubt would have some kind of romance sub-plot in it. Hero gets with the heroine. Or hero gets with damsel. It depended on the first scene. But usually you could pick it after that. Whatever. It was all the same. We headed into the movie and found seats at the back. The movie was fast moving, the hero finding out he was special for some reason and that he had a destiny to fulfil. Then we met the girl and the adventure began. I tried to concentrate on the fairly non-existent story line in between all the car chases, gunfights and explosions, but I couldn't. Finn had taken my hand halfway through the movie and it was clammy and hot. I wanted to pull away, but had no reason to. Then I would just feel bad and it would be awkward. And as Finn held my hand gently, like a perfect gentleman, I kept thinking of Josh. Thinking that if he were here he wouldn't be holding my hand. He would watch all the car chases, gunfights and explosions, then in between we would have made out. I knew it. He would have been hard and rough, making my heart beat fast and breaths jagged. He would have turned me on with one touch, then let me wait for an eternity before turning me on again. Then he would sit back and watch hero jump from the top of a building, shooting at he same time, before landing on his feet and running away. Then Josh would be kissing me again. And we would only get to see the exciting parts of the movie – minus the story line – and still knew exactly what happened while we were kissing. And when we left, Josh would have been holding me around the waist and talking softly into my ear while I laughed at what he said. Then we might have got into a fight before Josh kissed me again and we were all fine. But that wasn't how it was. Because I wasn't with Josh. I was with Finn. And all he would do was hold my hand and open the door for me on the way out. Then he might buy me an ice-cream as we left and we would talk. But he wouldn't make my heart beat fast or make me sweaty. He wouldn't make me laugh and shout. He wouldn't make me want to never leave his arms. Because he was kind, careful, cautious and chivalrous. And even as Finn and I kissed goodbye – a soft weak kiss with no tongue – I thought of Josh. I wished everything hadn't become so screwed up. And I told myself off for thinking it. And I made myself feel guilty. And I tried to get Josh out of my head. And it was annoying me. I just wanted to forget everything. Forget Josh and Jake and Finn and my family and friends. Everything.

**Josh – Sunday **

I was messed up. I couldn't keep my thoughts straight on anything for more than a few minutes. My attempts at homework were useless. Music just became distracting. TV was a mindless blaring noise not making any sense to me. I tried going for a swim, but water felt slimy and sticky. As I was getting out, I heard the glass door sliding open. I turned my head, expecting to see Chris, in paint covered overalls or one of my parents. It was Jake.

"Hey," he called.

"Hey," I echoed. He sat on the swing chair as I dried myself with a towel.

"I wanted to talk to you," Jake said. He sounded serious. Not something I was used to hearing with him.

"Umm… sure," I shrugged uneasily.

"I am over Isabelle." I felt my gut clench with guilt.

"Oh," I said not knowing how to respond.

"I know," Jake said.

"Know what?"

"I know you like her."

"I… I don't. No way," I found myself lying. Whether it was to him or me, I don't know.

"Dude, you think I haven't noticed? The day I walked in on you almost kissing her. The day she slapped you. And no doubt there have been other things. Not to mention the way you walk around like a zombie after her."

"Look, Jake," I said, trying to think of a way to explain myself.

"Don't," Jake said angrily. "I have seen the way you look at her. Watch her. Don't try to explain it."

"You don't get it. I… I didn't mean to…"

"Why didn't you just say something?"

"What was I supposed to say? Hey, mate, I have actually fallen for the same girl as you, do you mind?"

"You just should have said something. Anything."

"And what would you have done in my place?"

"Told you and given you a first chance," Jake cried.

"Yeah right," I scoffed. "Aren't you just the little saint? She doesn't like you anyway. She likes Finn."

"You are just saying that because _you_ want her."

"No," I said with a sigh. "I am not. She likes Finn. Trust me. She sure as hell didn't want me." I looked at Jake. I hadn't realised before, but he was angry. His hands were balled into fists and his jaw was locked.

"You need to stop screwing people around," Jake said angrily as he turned and left. I closed my eyes and took a breath. Why did this have to be so complicated? And it was so stupid because it shouldn't have been such a big deal. This was just some stupid high school thing. It wasn't some defining moment in my life. Or, at least, I hoped not.

"Is Jake home?" I asked Jake's mum from the front door.

"Yeah, sure, he is in his room. But he has been sulking lately. Perhaps you can cheer him up," she said happily. Too bad I was the one who caused the problem. I went to Jake's room and knocked. I could hear tapping on a keyboard. Probably messaging some girl he met on a train or at a bus stop.

"Come in," he said. As soon as I opened the door and he looked up he growled, "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to tell you my story," I said.

"Great, now I get the Josh chronicles too."

"What does that mean?"

"How do you think I found out, Josh?"

"I don't know."

"I saw you and Issy _very_ obviously making out in C5. Then I asked her about and she told me everything."

"She did?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes. And she cried for about ten minutes." I felt a pang of guilt. "She told me all about you and how she liked kissing you. No offence, but I did not need to hear that. Yuck. And she told me all about how kind and sweet Finn was. You should have heard her. I swear it was like two different people warring. That girl is very weird. But I think she is kind of messed up by all this too."

"She really told you all that?"

"Yeah. And dude, I totally give you kudos for the whole throwing rocks at her window thing. Very romantic. Totally lame, and I mean really lame, but she went for it, so I guess it worked." Okay, now I was really embarrassed.

"Yeah," I grumbled, face turning red.

"But seriously, what the hell happened to you? You used to be cool and laidback. Now you are all… uptight."

"I…" I had no idea how to answer. This was Jake. He didn't get it. I could exactly tell him how I loved Issy and I felt like a total idiot because she thought I was I loser, pining over her. Which in many ways I was. Ouch. That hurt.

"What?"

"I like her, Jake. I really like her. But she likes that idiot Finn. I think she only likes him because he can surf."

"The way she was talking about you, I doubt it."

"What did she say?"

"Heaps of stuff. I have to say I kind of zoned out for a bit. Personally, I wasn't that interested in hearing about good how my best friend's kisses were."

"Sure," I shrugged, my face burning up. "So… are we cool?"

"You have hardly said anything," Jake said turning back to his computer.

"Look, man. I am sorry. But I fell for her fast. I didn't mean to."

"Sure," Jake nodded. "But what about Sophie?"

"Err… she was hot, but boring. I kind of blew her off."

"Nice mate," Jake said sarcastically. But not in a mean way. We were fine again. I could tell.

"I am so screwed," I muttered and sat heavily on his bed.

"Sounds like it."

"Gee, thanks mate," I said sarcastically.

"Well, I don't know what to do," he shrugged. "I have never loved anyone."

"Huh?"

"Oh, come on," Jake said with a roll of his eyes. "You think I didn't notice."

"I…" I shrugged. "I am screwed."


	12. Chapter 12

Week 3

**Week 3 **

**12**

**Finn – Monday **

I could have sworn Issy was avoiding me. I would see her, just in time for her to duck into a classroom or hallway. Had I done something wrong? But the worst thing was Josh. Whenever we passed in the hall it was awkward and weird. There was a kind of stale air around us and I think others could sense it. I mean, there were still rumours flying about Issy and I, Josh and Issy and Josh and I. And I hated being the subject of gossip. Not my thing.

_Did they really kiss? _

_But I thought…_

_Are they going out? _

_No way!_

_What about Finn? _

_I saw them…_

_What about Josh?_

_Yeah, I have a friend who knows her and… _

_What about Issy? _

_I heard that they…_

_Really?_

_Still, I just can't believe… _

_Oh my God!_

_That is, like, so…_

_Seriously?_

_How many guys does she need?_

_Well, I mean, sure…_

_Whatever…_

_I think he is a jerk…_

_I think she is a total tease…_

_I know…_

_How many girls does he need?_

_What a-_

And I felt so bad for Issy. She was getting a bad wrap. People were saying shit about her being easy and a tease and a skank. I worried about her. She seemed down and even more shy than usual. I caught her at lunch, after a lengthy search. She was in a courtyard with Kiara and Stef. I took her by the arm and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Are you okay?" I asked without even saying hello.

"Yeah," Issy said. "You worry too much." She put on a fake sort of smile.

"You doing anything tonight?" I asked her. "We could just go to my house and chill. Although…" My sisters.

"Yeah?" Issy questioned.

"Well, there is the problem of my sisters," I told her. Issy laughed and I relaxed slightly. It was good when she smiled. It lit up her whole face.

"You can come to my house. Only my brother will be home and he won't bother us," Issy told me.

"Sure," I said. "That would be good. Meet you after school?"

"See you there," Issy said.

"You want a drink?" Issy asked me.

"Nah, I am cool." Isabelle's house was a little small, but I liked it. And her room was awesome. It was the attic that she had converted into a room. Except, it was the messiest room I had ever seen in my life. Sure, being very in touch with the likes of sisters, I knew rooms got messy. But this… well, it was beyond anything I had ever seen. Weirdly, though, I didn't mind so much. It showed me that even though Issy was organised with her thinking and school work, she wasn't perfect. Isabelle sat on her bed. I dropped my bag and sat next to her. She looked at me and rested a head on my shoulder with a sigh.

"I like this," she said. "Just… hanging out." I turned to her, taking her head off my shoulder and cupping it in my hands.

"You are beautiful," I told her. She almost flinched, as if I had said something wrong. I gave her a confused look but she just shook my head and put on a smile. I kissed her, lightly, once. Then again. This time I put more into it and draped my arms around her, directing her gently onto the bed. She fell away, waiting for me to follow. I ran a hand along the line of her cheek, and again, she almost recoiled. "What is it?" I asked her. Again, she shook her head and said,

"Nothing." So I leant down, kissing her harder, running a hand down her side. I had to say, she was a little lifeless. I began moving my lips down her jaw, onto her neck, gently. That was when Issy made a sharp intake of breath and pushed me off her roughly, jumping off her bed. Her face was scrunched up in a look of distress and her breathing was uneven. She put a hand to her head and gulped a few times. Her eyes became glossy with tears, but she never let one fall.

"I am sorry, Issy," I gushed. "I didn't mean to… I thought… I was never going to…"

"No," she shook her head. "It isn't you. I am just… a little stressed at the moment. Maybe you should go. I will see you tomorrow."

"Err… sure," I said getting up off the bed. "Are you okay?" I was worried.

"Not really," Issy said, rubbing her face with her hands. "I am stressed." I moved to her slowly ad took her in a hug. She rested her chin on my shoulder and I felt her breaths against me.

"It will be okay," I told her and kissed her hair. And again, she pushed me away as if I had stung her. What the hell was wrong?

"I am sorry," she said, shaking her head. "I will show you out." I nodded as Issy moved to the door. We walked downstairs, and ran into Issy's brother. And her mum. Great. As if I didn't have enough on my mind. Issy did all the introductions and I smiled and whatever. Then I left. It freaked me out. I was concerned for Issy. But also kind of hurt. I just wanted to know what was going on in her head. I wanted to know why she was so… messed up. I wanted her to talk to me. I was her boyfriend. We were meant to be close. She was meant to tell me things. Why was this so wrong?

"What is your problem?" Kayla asked when I snapped at her for changing the channel after dinner.

"Nothing," I replied angrily.

"Is it your _girlfriend_?" she said with scorn. I was so tempted to lose it. To just reach over and hit her. To yell at her. But I held back. Instead I grabbed the remote and threw it to the ground. It hit the floorboards and smashed. Then I turned and walked away. Kayla looked stunned. And for a moment she said nothing. Then, "Whoa, I am sorry, Finn. I didn't know."

"Sorry," I sighed. I shouldn't have done that. Dad was going to be pissed.

"Are you okay? Do you want to… talk?" Kayla asked. I shook my head,

"No. I am fine." But I wasn't. I was angry and shitty. I was annoyed and even Jasmine was pissing me off. I needed to cool it. I just didn't know how. Not while Isabelle was so closed and freaked out. I just… needed her to be okay. I needed her to be all right. I needed her to be sane.

**Isabelle – Tuesday **

"Hello? Earth to Issy?" Rach said at lunch. I snapped out of my little daydream. I kept replaying what happened yesterday. I just… I don't even know. I just snapped. Finn was kissing me, softly and sweetly, and I snapped. It felt like I couldn't breathe. I just… I needed to get out. Away from him. How stupid. And the thing was, I liked just hanging out with him. But as friends. Not kissing. It was the kissing I had a problem with.

"Yeah?" I said.

"Finn is making his way over here," she told me and flicked her head in his direction. We were sitting on some benches, in a grassy courtyard thing, under some trees. I got up and met him.

"Hey," I said.

"Haven't seen you much today," Finn said.

"Been busy."

"Are you alright? Is this English thing still bugging you out?"

"A little." Finn leant down and gave me a light kiss on the mouth, putting his arms around my waist. My stomach jolted a little as our lips met and I let out a sigh. Finn pulled away and smiled at me, his beautiful blue eyes glinting in the sun. He was so much gentler than Josh and almost as good at kissing. And he was hotter. Why did I keep comparing people to Josh? It was kind of getting out of hand. "I am sorry about last night," I said softly.

"It is okay. I am just glad you are better today," Finn said with a smile. I nodded. Then I noticed something over Finn's shoulder. Something that made me feel slightly sick, but also kind of happy. I really have some issues. Josh. Striding across the grassy area towards us. Josh with all his boyish looks, black hair, green eyes, soft skin, light freckles, strong lips that are really good at kissing, especially when he is feeling me up and kissing my neck – gee, I can't even help myself. What is wrong with me? Josh looked mad. And hot. Shut-up. I am with Finn. Sweet, hot, surfy Finn. Finn looked to where I was looking and he brought me closer to him, his arms slipping into a protective hold. He was so courteous.

"What do you want, Josh?" I asked sounding deflated.

"I… I…," Josh stammered. He looked really cute when he was lost for words. What is wrong with me? Even in the arms of another guy I was thinking about kissing that boyish, angry, lost-for-words face. Control yourself, Isabelle.

"Josh, get lost," Finn said. "I think Issy has made it pretty clear she doesn't want you." Josh gave me a glare saying, _what about the other night?_ I felt my face flush and I looked down.

"I don't know," Josh said in a knowing tone. "I think we should ask Isabelle. Issy?" I gave Josh a pleading look to say, _please don't do this, _but he just glared at me. I looked to Finn, his blue eyes questioning me.

"I…" I had no idea what to say. Finn's grip on me loosened. I looked from Josh to Finn. Both were looking at me expectantly. Who did I want? Sure, Josh was a great kisser who totally turned me on, but did I actually like him? Or love him? Josh was annoying and rough. Finn was kind and sweet. Josh was cute and boyish. Finn was surfy and hot. Josh was tall and strong. Finn was soothing and gentle. Tender Finn or Rugged Josh? I had obviously taken too long to decide because Finn took a step back and said,

"I thought you hated him? I mean, the other day when you slapped him…"

"And did she tell you about that same night, just after your date, when she had a make out session with me?" Josh said.

"What?" Finn asked looking at me. I opened my mouth to say something but Josh got in first.

"Yeah, just outside her back door, up against the wall, feeling her up," Josh said with a sneer.

"Issy?" Finn questioned. I just nodded feebly. A look of anger grew on Finn's face.

"And did she tell you about just before lunch on Friday?" Josh taunted.

"Josh," I said pathetically. "Please, don't."

"Just behind the old storeroom," Josh said. "What was it she said? Oh, I remember. '_Josh, I don't care about Finn. All I want is you. Only you_.' Isn't that right, Is?" The breath caught in my throat and when I tried to respond, all that came out was a half sob. Josh's hard face softened. "Do you love me?" he asked me gently. And I felt all my muscles tighten as my body screamed, _YES!_ But I couldn't. I couldn't say that. Because… because it wasn't true. I didn't love Josh at all. I really didn't. Or so I tried to tell myself. But it wasn't convincing.

"Josh, just shut up," Finn said angrily. "If you have kissed her as much as you claim then surely you would know how soft Issy goes when you kiss her. I just don't manipulate her like you seem too."

"I would never do something to Issy if she didn't want it," Josh said in an acid tone I had never heard him use before.

"Really? Then why don't you tell me how many times you have kissed her and she has pushed you away? Or how many times has she pushed you away full stop? Or how many times has she slapped you? Or said she hated you? Or called you a jerk? Because those are all fairly good indications of you doing something Issy didn't want you to do," Finn said icily. I gulped. Josh didn't know how to answer. I could see it in his face. "You see, when I kiss Is, she doesn't push me away, she kisses me back. Tell me, does she sigh when she kisses you too?" Finn tormented. Finn had a small smirk on his lips as he glared at Josh. That was when Josh snapped. I threw a hand up to my mouth and gasped as Josh leapt at Finn. Literally, he leapt. Finn stumbled and fell to the ground, Josh on top of him. I was so glad they were on grass and not on concrete. Josh took a punch at Finn's head and Finn took it hard. His eyes went kind of hazy and he had to shake his head a little to recover. I cringed. As Josh was about to take another shot when I screamed,

"Josh! Stop!" Josh looked at me, arm poised, muscles flexing. Then Finn pushed Josh off him hastily. I was totally stunned. This was very _Bridget Jones's Diary_. Both Josh and Finn got to their feet, staring at each other, breathing heavily. A crowd had gathered and some idiot had tried to begin a _Fight, Fight, Fight _chant. It wasn't working though because this was an actual fight. Usually the fights at my school were only shoving, but this was real. And worse, I didn't know which side to choose. Finn looked terrible, with blood running from his nose, a small cut just above his left eye and grass stains all over his shirt. Josh on the other hand, looked angry, slightly dirty and very hot. Is that totally wrong for me to say that? But he did. His boyish look had kind of left him and he looked really strong and sexy. What is wrong with me? They are fighting over me, and can't I even keep my thoughts straight? This time it was Finn who took a swing at Josh. Josh knocked him out of the way and pushed Finn to the ground. But Finn was fast, grabbing one of Josh's legs and bringing him crashing down on top of him. Finn was the first to recover, jumping on Josh and giving him a hard punch in the face. I flinched as he did.

"Oh my God," Rachael said behind me. Her, Stef and Kiara were all standing behind me. I am not sure where they came from but I was glad they were here. "They are totally fighting over you."

"Thanks for reminding me," I muttered.

"What?" she said. "Don't you think it is kind of cool?"

"No!" Although I did. "I feel terrible. How do we stop it?" Then my answer came in the form of a teacher.

"Excuse me," he said obnoxiously as he pushed his way through the crowd. He was one of the junior teachers so I didn't know his name, but I was so grateful to him. He saw the fight and immediately roared in a bellowing voice,

"GET OFF EACH OTHER, NOW!" Finn, who had one hand in the air, ready to take another swing at Josh, looked at the teacher, blood flowing freely from his nose, and stood hastily. Josh got to his feet, brushing himself down and giving Finn a small shove. "You and you," the teacher bellowed, pointing at Josh and Finn, each in turn. "Follow me. The rest of you, get out of here. And when I come back, I don't want to see anyone loitering." With that, the teacher turned away, Josh and Finn following. I tried to catch the gaze of either of them, but they were just staring at each other through gritted teeth. Now even Josh looked a mess. He had a cut on his chin and his lip was bleeding. Both Josh and Finn had blood, dirt and grass stains down their school shirts and on their hands. Finn currently had his hand to his nose, trying to stop the bleeding. Josh kept spitting and wiping his mouth, which seemed to keep filling with blood. Gross. And I had caused it.

"Wow," Kiara said softly.

"I am so jealous," Stef said. "Why can't guys fight over me?"

"I think I am going to be sick," I said. And suddenly, I did. I don't know what caused it, but I really felt like I was going to throw up. I could taste the bile in my throat and I immediately ran to the nearest bin, puking up my lunch. I leant over the bin and coughed and spat out the spew in my mouth. I stayed, my head over the bin, for a few moments, until I felt a hand on my back.

"Let's get you some water," Ki said. I nodded and stood. Stef steered me to a drinking tap and Rach and Ki watched as I washed my mouth out before taking a drink. Stef then took me to the bathroom so I could fix myself up. I was a wreck. A total train wreck. My face was even whiter than normal, my hair was tangled in a wild mess, my eyes looked strangely sunken in my face and I, in general, just looked like crap. I took a breath and then washed my face and fixed my hair.

"Do you want to call your mum?" Rachael asked and offered me her mobile. I shook my head.

"I have a biology test," I said.

"Are you sure?" Stef asked. I nodded.

"I will be fine," I said putting on a weak smile.

"Okay, then," Rach shrugged. And together we left the bathroom. I still felt a little sick though. Josh had just beaten up Finn because he wanted me. Finn had just beaten up Josh because he wanted me. But who did I want? The new surfy hottie or the cute guy who I have hated since Year 9?

**Josh – Tuesday **

"Now, what was this whole episode about?" the school counsellor, Miss Hed, asked Finn and I. We had gotten cleaned up and then sent to Miss Hed. I had a fat lip and Finn had a fairly swollen nose. Miss Hed was young, about twenty-five or so, and had a kind face. That didn't help my mood though. I was pissed. Pissed at Finn. Pissed at myself. Pissed at the world really. The way Finn had leant down and kissed Isabelle softly. My hands shook just thinking about it. It made me really mad. I don't know why, but it did. I should be the one kissing her. And when I kissed her, I kissed her for real, not just some weak attempt Finn gave. But the shit he had said to me made me so angry. What did he mean by me manipulating Isabelle? I didn't do that, did I? And when he had said that stuff about kissing Issy and her making sigh, I had just snapped. I guess because she did do that with me. Every time I had kissed her she had lost her breath and taken those quick little breaths and sighs. Even thinking about it was turning me on. Shit. I put my head in my hands, suddenly really depressed. Maybe Finn was right. Maybe Issy didn't want me. She had always chosen Finn over me. Maybe I was just some weird stalker to her. But why had she kissed me that night? Or Friday? Maybe Finn was right about that too. I knew exactly how Isabelle got when I was kissing her. She was like putty in my hands. Maybe I _was_ manipulating her. Oh God, why does this have to be so complicated?

"Josh?" Miss Hed asked. I looked up.

"Miss, I'm sorry," I said. "Look, I was the who started this; I just lost temper, that's all. It was nothing big, I just snapped and next time will remember to keep my anger in check." Miss Hed looked at me suspiciously.

"But what was the fight about?" she asked. When neither Finn or I answered she said, "I am here too help, but I can't do that if you don't tell me what is going on."

"He likes my girlfriend," Finn blurted out. I hung my head. Why did he have to say that? "And when I hugged her he came over and had a go at me. Then we exchanged some words and he leapt at me."

"Oh," Miss Hed said. "I see. It is a girl issue. May I ask who this girl is? I may need to call her up here."

"She has an important test on in biology. She wouldn't want to be disturbed right now," I said.

"I am sure she won't mind getting out of a test," Miss Hed chuckled.

"Yes, she would," I said sternly. "She hates missing out on tests. She says it puts her behind."

"How do you know that?" Finn asked annoyed.

"If you knew Isabelle like I do then you would understand," I said scornfully.

"Alright, boys," Miss Hed said. "Please, no snapping. Am I to understand that this is Isabelle Travis?" Oh crap. I didn't mean to say her name. My shoulder's dropped and I nodded. Miss Hed gave me a strange look and then asked me,

"I thought you and Miss Travis weren't… err… fond of each other at all?" Finn gave me a triumphant look.

"That situation had changed slightly," I mumbled. Miss Hed just nodded and went to her computer. "This is very unlike Isabelle," Miss Hed said tapping away on her computer. "She is in C1 at the moment. Look, can I trust you boys to be alone for five minutes while I fetch Isabelle?" she asked us. We both nodded solemnly. "Good, I will be back soon." Then she left the room.

"I can't believe you said it was Isabelle," Finn spat at me.

"I can't believe you told the truth," I shot back.

"What was I supposed to say?"

"I don't know," I said angrily. "Made something up, like, I made fun of your little brother."

"I don't have a brother," Finn seethed.

"Whatever," I answered. We both fumed in silence for another few minutes before Miss Hed entered the room again, Isabelle following. She looked like a mess. Sure, she was still beautiful with her chocolate brown hair, light skin and cloudy blue eyes, but she looked crap. Her face was pale, hair wild and she looked worn out. Not to mention her eyes looked a little puffy. Had she been crying? Now I felt guilty as anything. Isabelle sat down in a chair opposite Finn and I. She looked a little faint too. I was worried about her.

"Now, Isabelle," Miss Hed began. "These boys have told me they were fighting over you at lunch. Is this true?" Isabelle gulped and then nodded. I looked at her hands and saw that she was clutching the chair arms for support. I wanted to hold her so bad. She looked so lost and sad. I just wanted to hug her, kiss her. See her smile again. She was so beautiful. My gut clenched with guilt and nausea as I thought, maybe she doesn't want me to do that. Maybe she wants Finn to be the one holding her. I took a gulp and just tried to focus. "I believe that Finn is your boyfriend, correct?" Miss Hed asked Isabelle.

"I guess," Isabelle said softly. Miss Hed frowned and Isabelle said, "We are going out." As if that explained anything.

"And, you, Josh, like Isabelle?" Did she want to make me sound any more like a desperate loser? And then a little voice in my head said, _you are._ Great, now even my own subconscious is against me. I am so screwed up. I nodded.

"Yes," I said looking at Isabelle for something, any kind of indication that she liked me back. Nothing. Isabelle just continued to stare at a knot in the wood of the desk.

"Well, this seems a case of, you, Josh, needing to back off. Isabelle is with Finn and until that changes, you can not force Isabelle to like you," Miss Hed said. As much as I wanted to get out of that office, I couldn't just let Miss Hed think I was some pathetic loser who goes after someone else's girl. _You are_, the voice in my head said again_._ Shut-up.

"But there is more to it," I said. Miss Hed looked at me expectantly. Finn gave me an icy glare and Isabelle gave me a pleading look. I ignored Isabelle and Finn and turned to Miss Hed. "Isabelle and I…" I didn't know what to say. I didn't exactly want to tell a teacher I had been making out with Isabelle behind Finn's back. But I had already started and I knew Miss Hed would get it out of me eventually. "Isabelle and I have… err… been together. Um… those are the right words… I me-"

"Isabelle and him were kissing behind my back," Finn finished. I felt my face grow hot. I looked at Isabelle. She looked like she was either going to cry or throw up. Or perhaps both.

"Oh," Miss Hed said. "This complicates things slightly." She looked from Isabelle, to me and then Finn. "I think I might just need to talk to Isabelle alone for a second." Miss Hed stood and ushered Isabelle up. Isabelle got up slowly. She seemed to sway slightly and her eyes went out of focus.

"Issy?" I asked, concerned. Her eyelids fluttered for a moment and she stumbled somewhat. I ran to her without a thought just as her legs collapsed from beneath her. I caught her as she fell into me. "Issy?" I said, my voice bordering hysterical. Finn also rushed to my side. Issy's head lolled a little and I swept her body into my arms, cradling her like a child and supporting her head. Miss Hed only just seemed to be aware of what had happened.

"What the…?" she said turning.

"She fainted," Finn informed her.

"Issy?" I said softly. Isabelle's eyelids fluttered and she said in slurred speech,

"Finn?" My heart sank so fast I began to felt nauseas. She did want Finn. She wanted Finn. I really am just a pathetic, desperate loser, pining over a girl I will never have. _Don't mean to say it… but I told you so_, the voice said_._ I am very disturbed. I must be disturbed. How can my own brain hate me? I took a breath and tried to regain myself.

"Put her down, for God's sake," Miss Had said in an annoyed tone. I dropped to one knee and gently lowered Isabelle to the floor. She stirred and opened her eyes.

"Josh?" Isabelle asked in a surprised tone. As if to say, _why the hell are you here? I want Finn._ "I thought…" She trailed off when she saw Finn's face. "Finn," she said lovingly. She gave a weak smile and I had to gulp back the feeling of throwing up. She really did want Finn. "What happened?" she asked.

"You collapsed," Finn said soothingly. He reached out and stroked her cheek. My stomach turned over. Isabelle gave him another tender smile and reached up to take his hand. I saw her squeeze it and I felt like crying. Really. Maybe I am just a sook, but I wanted that to be me so bad. I wanted to be the one she gave tender smiles to. I wanted to be the one to stroke her cheek. I wanted to be the one she squeezed hands with. I stood. Isabelle and Finn suddenly looked at me, as if they had only just noticed I was there. Maybe they had.

"I am sorry, Isabelle, Finn," I said. "I guess… I guess I will leave you alone… like I promised. Sorry." Isabelle looked confused and Finn had a huge smirk on his face. I looked away from both of them. Miss Hed then knelt down to Isabelle.

"Can you sit?" she asked. Slowly, Isabelle sat up, Finn holding her. "Let's take you to the bed in sick bay. Finn, come with me in case she falls again. Josh, go the office and tell them what has happened. Get them to call Isabelle's parents to pick her up." I nodded. "And I want you to meet me back here with Finn, after your errand, to discuss your punishment."


	13. Chapter 13

13

**13**

**Finn – Tuesday **

"I think two days suspension should be enough," Miss Hed said typing on her computer. I groaned. My dad was going to kill me. Josh on the other hand just looked depressed. I was buzzing. Isabelle wanted me. She didn't want Josh. I won. Isabelle had, of course, gone home after her fainting spell. Miss Hed told us we wouldn't be needed for two days of school next week. A Monday and Tuesday. Fine by me, except that Dad was absolutely going to rip into me. Josh just nodded, looking totally deflated. He really did like Isabelle. Oh well, not my problem. "I will call both of your parents and explain what happened," Miss Hed said. "You are excused." Josh and I stood, pushing our chairs in and leaving the room. We stayed silent as we left, Josh looking at the floor, me beaming. When we reached the lockers I took out my books to go to the next class. Josh didn't. He just put some homework in his bag, hoisted it on his shoulder and shut his locker with a slam. He turned to leave the locker room but I called,

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"Home," Josh said. He had his back to me, but he was standing still in the doorway.

"Our suspension doesn't start till next week, we still have to go to sixth period," I said.

"Yeah, well, I can't."

"Look Josh, I know you liked Isabelle, but face it, she likes me. Not you," I said in the nicest way possible. He really was bummed out. And I saw the way he flinched at Isabelle's name.

"I know, Finn. I just… I can't handle school. I need to go home. Do what you want, tell on me, whatever. I don't care. I just… I can't… I can't go to English with you. Not right now." That's right, we had English. But Isabelle wasn't even going to be in class. He was being a bit lame.

"Don't you think you are being a little…" Now I wished I hadn't even started that sentence. Because now I started it I had to finish it.

"Weak?" Josh finished, still not facing me.

"Well, I was going to say pathetic," I shrugged. Josh didn't even get mad. He just sighed and said,

"You don't understand, Finn."

"Then explain it to me," I said. Now I was angry. What did that sentence even mean? Then Josh turned. He looked at me, his green eyes digging into mine.

"I love her, Finn. That's what you don't understand." Then he turned and left. The words echoed in my head. _I love her, Finn. That's what you don't understand._ What was he trying to say? That I didn't like Issy as much as him. Because I did. I knew I did. Who was he to judge me? Isabelle had hated him up until a while ago. That's right, up until a while ago. She had stopped hating him. Was I missing something? Was Josh trying to say that Issy did in fact like him? Not me? But that couldn't be right. She did like me. She had chosen me. Me. But did that mean she actually wanted me? I went to English in a sort of daze. Not sure whether I should feel excited or not. I was just confused really. My nose was hurting and the cut above my eye was annoying. As I entered the classroom there were a few, _ohhs_ and _ahhs, _but I ignored it, finding a seat next to Rachael.

"Hey, what happened to Issy?" she hissed at me.

"She fainted so Miss Hed sent her home."

"Josh?"

"Wagging. What else?"

"Yeah," Rachael said looking disjointed. "I just don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"She really liked you, but then Josh… he messed her up."

"Messed her up?" I asked.

"I don't know. He confused her and she didn't understand."

"And now?"

"Well, who did she choose?" Rach looked at me.

"Err… me."

"Oh," Rach said. She looked down with a small frown. "I hope she is okay."

"Yeah, me too."

**Isabelle – Tuesday **

"_Issy?" Josh said softly. I opened my eyes expecting to see Finn holding me. _

"_Finn?" I said. But it wasn't Finn. It was Josh. Josh. My Josh. My strong Josh, perfect, annoying Josh. I loved it the way he was holding me. Cradling me. I saw him take a breath. _

"_Put her down, for God's sake," Miss Had said in an annoyed tone behind me somewhere. No, I wanted to say. I want Josh to hold me. But Josh dropped to one knee and gently lowered me to the floor. I opened my eyes to get a better look at Josh. He looked really depressed._

"_Josh?" I asked in a surprised tone. He looked sad. Really sad. Why was he sad? "I thought…" I began. I thought Josh loved me. Had he realised he didn't? "Finn," I said when I saw Finn standing over me. I saw Josh give a weak smile and gulp. What was going on? "What happened?" I asked. _

"_You collapsed," Finn said soothingly. He reached out and stroked my cheek. I gave him a soft smile and reached up to take his hand. I squeezed it gently; ready to tell him I actually wanted Josh. Then Josh stood. Finn and I suddenly looked at him. I thought he loved me? _

"_I am sorry, Isabelle, Finn," he said. "I guess… I guess I will leave you alone… like I promised. Sorry." I didn't understand. I thought he loved me. I loved him. He had said he loved me. What had changed? I began to panic. I was about to say something when Josh looked away from me. That was when Miss Hed then knelt down beside me. _

I finally decide I love Josh and he decides he doesn't. And why did he say that? '_I guess… I guess I will leave you alone… like I promised. Sorry.'_ What did that even mean? I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. It wasn't working for me though. That was when I head soft thudding noises. Stones, hitting my window. Josh! I sat bolt upright. My head spun, but I didn't care. Josh was here. I ran to the window and slid it open hastily. But it wasn't Josh.

"Finn?" I asked.

"Will you come down? I need to talk to you."

"I will be down in a second," I told him. It was Finn. Why Finn? I wanted Josh. I made my way down the stairs and out the back door. When I got outside, Finn was leaning against the side of the doorframe, and as I stepped out, he grabbed me by the waist, softly pulling me into him. He was so different to Josh. Gentle and kind. He was chivalrous and gracious. Like an old day gentleman. Josh was annoying, rough and way too arrogant. But I liked that. Finn gave me a peck on the lips, blue eyes looking into mine. His nose was slightly swollen and the cut above his eye looked ready to break at any time.

"I wanted to say how sorry I am about today," Finn gushed. "Josh… he said stuff… and when he jumped at me… well… I had to defend myself." Then I realised something. Finn was kind, smart, deep and gallant. He was the perfect guy. He was the guy my parents would expect me to marry. He was the guy my mother would love. He was the perfect boyfriend/husband material. He would treat me well and love me. But only gently. Only softly. Because he would never want to hurt me. So he would never be rough or annoying or arrogant. He was boring. He was really boring. Sure, he was easy to talk to, and he was good looking. But I could never really talk to him. Not like I did with Josh. We couldn't joke and fight, because Finn was cautious. He was cautious and boring. He would never hurt my feelings like Josh would. But that made Josh interesting and real. It was what made Finn boring and kind.

"I understand, Finn," I heard myself saying. "Josh shouldn't have said that. Or jumped you."

"But… well… I was wondering… did he mean what he said?" Finn looked embarrassed. See what I mean. He was cautious. He was to scared to say something in case he hurt me. Not like Josh. Not like Josh at all. But the thing was, I liked Josh telling me what he thought. I liked him being annoying and arrogant. I liked it that he would rather face me than stay quiet and never hurt me.

"About what?" I had to prompt.

"Well… I want to know… if you want me… or him…" Finn said. His voice got stuck in his throat as he said _or him_. I guess Finn really did like me. But… I wanted Josh. I really did. And as hot and laid back and cool as Finn was, I wanted it to be Josh here, with me, now. And Finn's arms around me were annoying. They weren't comforting or warm. They were clammy and made me feel stuffy and trapped. I wanted Josh's arms that melded into my body. His strong, welcoming arms, that made we weak and sweaty at his touch, not Finn's, lanky, unfamiliar arms. I wanted Josh's overly tall figure and messy black hair with sea green eyes. I wanted Josh to be here now. But that was it – he wasn't here now. Josh wasn't here now. Finn was. Because Finn wanted me. Josh didn't.

"Of course I want you," I told Finn. Why did I tell him that? I don't know. Because it was all lies. Maybe because I felt guilty about stringing Finn along. Maybe because I knew Josh didn't want me. Maybe because I felt like I needed someone, and Finn would do. Maybe because even if I was with Finn, I could at least pretend I had Josh. I am so pathetic.

"Good," Finn said and released a breath. I hadn't even noticed he was holding one. Then Finn kissed me. And I kissed him back. But he wasn't like Josh. He didn't make my knees go weak or my head spin or my brain stop working or my body go numb. He didn't make me feel high on his scent. He didn't make me want to take of his shirt and run my hands down his chest. He didn't turn me on and make me feel hot at his touch. He just wasn't like Josh. Finn moved his hands around letting them fall around my shoulders. I didn't make an effort; I just left my hands around Finn's waist. When Finn finally pulled away, I wasn't out of breath, like Josh made me. I didn't want more. I just wanted to get back to bed and crawl under the doona, hoping Finn would give up on me.

"Who's the stud?" Ryan's voice came from the kitchen as a crept back to bed.

"Err…" I stepped into the light, looking at Ryan. "Boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Ryan said looking interested, but not mad. "Why was he here now? Is he aware that there a these new things called phones and you dial a number, then talk to anyone you want?"

"Ha ha," I said with a smile. I sat at the table opposite him.

"Well, perhaps we should keep the midnight visits restricted to the day. Just for your mum's sake."

"I would be happy to," I said with a sigh.

"Am I missing something?" Ryan asked, looking confused. And I began crying. I couldn't help it. And Ryan stood, taking me into a hug. And it felt good. To have someone. Someone real. Someone who wasn't Josh or Finn. Someone who was the closest thing to a father I had ever had. "Hey, hey," Ryan soothed. "What is going on?"

"Well…" And I spilled. Everything. From the first week of school. The day Finn arrived, the day of the assignment. The fighting with Josh. The flirting with Finn. The kisses with Josh. The dates with Finn. The fight. Everything.

"That is quite a story," Ryan said when I was done. I shrugged. I was all cried out. "Hun, to tell you the truth, I have no idea what you should do. But, as phoney as it sounds, I might go with your heart on this one. And you might have to hurt someone else, but if you went with your head, you might just end up hurting them later anyway."

"I guess."

"From the sounds of it, Josh is good guy. Just don't… don't write him off." Was it just me, or did everyone seem to know I loved Josh before I even noticed?

When I had gotten back to bed, I felt guilty. Josh didn't want me. I needed to remind myself. As much as it hurt. And I had to make an effort for Finn. He had gone after me and even put up with my cheating. It wasn't fair on him. I needed to get over Josh. Even if Ryan did say not to write him off. Because Josh didn't want me. Anyway, in ten years was I even going to remember Josh's name? _Yes_, a voice said. Of course I was. But still, for now, it wasn't fair I was doing this to Finn. And I promised myself I would make an effort. Finn was sweet and kind. He would never hurt me, so I would not hurt him. I would make an effort. Or at least try.

Josh – Wednesday

I began to find myself watching her. All the time. It was like I had a radar on her. And I had a Finn radar too. It was really bugging me out. And I was angry. Always angry. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists all the time. For no reason. I was just angry. I would lash out at no one for any reason. I listen to loud, rowdy music and shouted. It was like I walked around in an angry state of mind all the time. As if being angry I could some how forget everything. Forget how stupid I was to have fallen for Isabelle. Forget how stupid I was to even think she might have liked me. Just forget. But the mind doesn't like doing that. No. It prefers to make you feel like crap all the time instead. Spiralling down into a pit of darkness. That doesn't even make sense. It is like your own body and mind are working against you. Making you feel empty and stupid. Making you feel worthless. And lonely. Most of all, lonely. Like no one was there. People were around you were just… surreal. And if you touched them they would disappear in a cloud of smoke. And they would. You reach out to them, they disappear, too scared to face what you are facing. Although, maybe that just makes them a whole lot smarter than me.

At lunch I felt kind of claustrophobic in the lunchroom so I went outside. Jake followed me, chattering in my ear the whole way. I answered all his questions accordingly but other than that I didn't add much to the conversation. As soon as I entered the courtyard opposite the Year 11 lockers my radar went off. Isabelle and Finn were sitting on the far benches with a few of Issy's friends milling around. Some of Finn's friends were there too. I stopped walking and stared. I couldn't help it. Issy had her legs entangled with Finn's and he had his arms wrapped around her waist. Finn said something in her ear and she laughed softly. I felt a pang of jealousy and I had to take a breath. Then Finn reached up and played with a lock of Isabelle's hair; twisting it around his finger. He let his hand then rest on her cheek and said something else to her. Her face gave a look of discomfort for a second, before she regained herself and smiled. I had done that to Issy. In the locker rooms, I had placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her. Had she remembered? Was that why she was uncomfortable? But then all my hopeful thoughts were dashed when Finn leant down and pressed his lips to hers. They remained in the light kiss for a moment before Isabelle pulled away and gave an uneasy laugh. She looked away from Finn in a definite restlessness and her gaze swept across the courtyard. Her eyes caught mine and for a second I could have sworn I saw a look of longing. But I turned away, looking at Jake as he said,

"Dude, you really need to talk to her."

"I don't know what you are talking about," I mumbled.

"Are you kidding? You have been walking around in a daze for days now. You wouldn't come out with the boys yesterday. I am over her. Sure, I was mad at first, but I know how much you want her. Just talk to her."

"I have. And we are done with talking. We're done with everything. She doesn't want me. She wants Finn," I said deflated.

"I am not sure," Jake said thoughtfully.

"Are you kidding? Look at them! That isn't what Isabelle does when she doesn't want someone."

"And what did she do with you when she apparently 'didn't want you'?" Jake asked making talking marks in the air with his fingers.

"She just liked kissing me."

"That is crap. A kiss is never just a kiss. It always has meaning."

"Is that what it is for you?" I asked heatedly. "Does every kiss you give mean something, because I am pretty sure you just want a bit of ass?"

"Yeah, but I am shallow. You and Issy are not shallow. You and Issy have history," Jake said unbothered by my comment.

"The history is a bad one," I told him.

"But it is still a history."

"Yeah, well to her, it was obviously bad."

"Dude, we need to find you a chick."

"I don't want one," I snarled, standing and moving away. "I want Issy," I whispered when Jake was out of earshot. I guess I was a little harsh on Jake. He was only being nice… but I really just wanted to be left alone. I was sick of talking and trying to understand Isabelle. I was sick of being rejected for a better guy. And I tried to reason with myself; it was nothing personal, she just liked Finn better. But I still felt like crap. I found a place to finish my lunch, alone, and I tried not to look too much at Isabelle. When the bell went I walked slowly to my locker and checked my timetable. Double English. Was this a joke? A punishment? Even though it was only Wednesday and I wouldn't have to work with Issy, I still had to spend the next hour and a half in the presence of her and her boyfriend. I walked even slower to English, a copy of Macbeth and my notes in hand. I entered class, head down. I found the last seat left; luckily it was on the opposite side of the room from Isabelle and Finn. Unfortunately – as I soon found out – it wasn't the best place to sit because I had full view of what they did under the table. Firstly, Finn kept his hand on Isabelle's thigh for almost the all of the time Mr Carlile was talking. But Issy seemed bothered by it. She kept moving uneasily. And I could tell she wasn't enjoying it. I couldn't stop watching. It was kind of like watching a car accident. You didn't want to watch, but you couldn't take your eyes off it. I hate this. But it wasn't until Finn put his hand back on the table and began to write did my jealousy and depression get worse. Because Isabelle put her own hand on Finn's leg. I felt my stomach lurch as she slowly began to move her hand up his leg, while continuing with her work. She didn't seem uncomfortable now. But then she was in her element being a tease. How much I wanted that to be me. I could see Finn was having trouble concentrating on his work. I wasn't surprised. I was also having trouble concentrating and it wasn't even my leg. Isabelle kept her hand moving and I saw Finn take a gulp and shuffle around in his seat. Then, just as Isabelle reached his crotch Finn jumped slightly and inhaled sharply, accidentally pushing all his notes onto the floor. Isabelle removed her hand and suppressed a giggle. What a tease? But even as I thought it, I knew I wished that was me. I wished it were me she was teasing. Why couldn't it be me?


	14. Chapter 14

14

**14**

**Finn – Thursday **

"I can not believe it!" My dad yelled at me, spraying spit everywhere. Gross. Mum had held off on telling Dad about the suspension for a few days, but eventually she had to give it up, and now I was paying for it. "Fighting! Over a girl!"

"Are you not in the army?" I said under my breath.

"What was that?" Dad boomed.

"Nothing," I muttered.

"Was that this Isabelle girl?" my dad asked.

"What does it matter who it was?"

"Because I don't want you to see her anymore. If she is causing you to start fights-"

"I didn't start it, okay. Josh did. He leapt at me. Did you really think I was just going to take it?"

"I expect you not to get into fights in the first place. And if this girl is starting them then I don't want you to see her."

"Dad, that is so stupid."

"What?" Dad yelled.

"I am not about to dump her just because you think she is a bad influence. She isn't. I am sorry about the fight, but I am not about to give up Issy." Then I turned and left the room.

"We aren't finished yet!" Dad shouted.

"Whatever," I said not turning to him. I made my way up to my room. Screw Dad. He wasn't about to stop me from seeing Issy. It had been hard enough just to get Is to go out with me. I wasn't giving her up now. For some weird reason I walked to Kayla's room without even knocking. I just barged in, sat on her bed, looking at her as she watched me from the beanbag she was sitting on, and said,

"I need to talk to you."

"Um… sure," Kayla shrugged. I didn't really know where to start. Kayla and I had never been close.

"Dad is being an asshole."

"No shit. I heard him yelling at you," Kayla said.

"You know what happened?"

"Are you kidding? _Everyone _knows what happened. You had a fight in the middle of lunch over a _girl_. Stuff like that is totally scandalous," Kayla said. "I think it is really sweet actually. Defending her like that. Really romantic."

"It isn't really like that," I told her. "Josh was the one who leapt at me. Really I was just defending myself."

"Still. It was sort of like _Bridget Jones's Diary._ Very cool," Kayla admired. I shrugged. I had never understood why girls thought stuff like that was romantic. Whatever.

"Anyway, do you know the story with Josh?" I asked.

"Only rumours. Something about her cheating on you with him or something. I don't know how true it is," Kayla shrugged.

"It is true," I told her. Kayla nodded.

"So why the hell did you stay with her?" Kayla asked. "She cheated on you. And with a guy like Josh. I mean, he is hot." I gave a disgruntled look. "Sorry, but it is true."

"Yeah, well, apparently he liked her too," I said.

"You know…" Kayla said, looking thoughtful. "She might not actually _like_ like him. You know? I mean, a guy like that is pretty hard to say no to. I would totally pash him if I got the chance."

"Kayla," I growled.

"Sorry. But I guess my point is, she might like you. It is just he sort of seduced her."

"I don't know. I don't think Josh would have done that to her. He really liked her." He did. I knew it. He had been really depressed lately.

"Well, maybe she just fell for his charm. I totally would have," Kayla said with a sigh. I rolled my eyes.

"So, what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do I do?"

"She chose you, right?"

"Yeah…"

"I don't see the problem," Kayla shrugged. I sighed.

"I just don't know…"

"Hey," Kayla said. "You got the girl. Think of how Josh feels."

"I guess…"

"If it is such a big deal, just talk to her," Kayla said with a frustrated look on her face.

"I did."

"And?"

"And she said she wanted me."

"Look, Finn, from the sounds of it, Isabelle was just confused. I think she likes you. Stop worrying about her. I would be more worried about Dad. And I think I can hear him coming up now."

"Great," I said with a eye roll.

"Finn?" Dad boomed. I stood and said to Kayla,

"Thanks."

"No prob," Kayla said with a smile. I sighed and went to face my dad. I stepped out of Kayla's room and almost crashed into him.

"Where are you going?" he asked, looking outraged.

"Out," I said.

"Out where?"

"Isabelle's," I said easily.

"Not a chance," Dad said following me. "I don't care what you say-"

"And I don't care what you say," I said, facing him. "So I guess you and me are at a mutual agreement." Then I turned and walked out the door, slamming it hard. I got on the bus with the change in my pocket and got off at the stop near Issy's. It wasn't a very far walk and I was knocking on her door with in only twenty minutes of fighting with my dad. It just happened to be Issy who opened the door. I was glad for it.

"Finn," she said, sounding surprised. Without a thought I took her into a hug. Isabelle hugged me back. This was what it was meant to be like. This felt good. "Hey, what is up?"

"Dad," I muttered, head still on Issy's neck. "I had a fight with him."

"Are you okay?"

"I am now," I said, standing up to my full height and taking in Issy's sweet scent.

"I don't mean to blow you off," Issy began, looking apologetic. "But I am going out now. You can come in for-" Issy looked at her watch "-five minutes then I have to go."

"That's cool. I just needed to see you," I told her. My insecurities were gone as soon as I saw her face. Issy invited me in and we moved to the couch together. She sat with me, head rested on my chest.

"So, are you okay? Was the fight a big one?" Issy asked me.

"Something like that," I said, not wanting to elaborate.

"Issy!" I heard Issy's mum call. "We are leaving now. You had better be ready."

"I have to go," Issy said looking apologetic. "Is there somewhere we can take you?"

"Nah, that is fine. I am happy to just wander." And so I left, just drifting around the park, and eventually making my way back home.

**Isabelle – Thursday **

I still didn't understand it. I had Finn. I should be happy. Half the girls in my class want Finn. Why am I being so sulky? Josh didn't want me.

"Hey! Didn't you see that car?" Mum yelled. She was taking me on a driving lesson. I needed to get my hours up if I was going to get my licence when I turned eighteen.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I am just distracted."

"I'll say. Just focus please." But how could I? I needed to talk to Josh. See him. Touch him. Make sure he was all right. Make sure I still felt the same way when I saw him. "Take a left here," Mum instructed. I turned right. "When I said left, I did actually mean left."

"I need to see someone," I told her driving in the direction of Josh's house.

"Finn?"

"No, I need to pick up something for my Macbeth project," I lied.

"You are spending a lot of time with that other boy. Finn doesn't mind?" Mum asked suspiciously. I cringed.

"No, he is fine with it. Josh and I are…" What were we? "Just friends." Well, that was the only thing I knew we weren't.

"Okay," Mum said sounding unconvinced. It didn't take long to get to Josh's house and when we got there I jumped out of the car in a hurry. "You want me to wait for you?" Mum asked.

"No, it's fine. I'll get my own way home."

"Okay, bye." She pulled out of the drive and I went to the front door slowly. I let three knocks ring out. I could hear bleary music coming from Josh's room. How was he? Chris opened the door. I jumped, startled.

"Oh," Chris said, smile gone, a tinge of anger in his voice. "It's you."

"Is Josh home?" I asked, knowing he was.

"What do you want?"

"I just need to speak to Josh," I pleaded.

"Look, Josh is pretty down at the moment. I don't think he needs or wants this right now."

"Please, Chris. Please. I just need to talk to him. Please." I could hear the desperation in my voice. Chris sighed.

"You hurt him Isabelle. You really hurt him. He has hardly left his room in the last few days."

"Please just let me talk to him. Please."

"I guess," Chris folded. "He is in his room. You know the way." He moved from the doorway to let me through. I walked quickly to his room – through the picture perfect house – to make sure I wouldn't chicken out. I knocked softly on his door and waited. I remembered his room. The way everything was tidy and organised, but in some way damaged. With a paint spill or a chip out of it or a scratch or faded colours. Like everything had been used. It was familiar and old. Welcoming.

"Chris?" Josh's voice came. My heart lifted to hear his voice. I hadn't seen him in such a long time.

"No, it is me. Isabelle." I took a breath. The music still blared out of his speakers and I wondered if he had heard me. Then he opened the door. He looked like crap. His gorgeous black hair was even messier then usual and a little greasy. He had large dark circles under his eyes and he looked worn out.

"Why are you here?" His voice was deep and throaty, making me shiver in response. Why did he have to be so sexy?

"I needed to talk to you. Can I come in?"

"I am fine right here," he said crossing his arms over his chest – muscles in his arms clenching and then relaxing under his tight shirt as he did (why can I not keep my mind free of these things at such a serious time?) and leaning against the doorframe. I remembered running my hands over those muscles and I desperately wanted to reach out and touch him.

"Why did you stop?" I asked quickly. That wasn't what I had wanted o ask but it had kind of just come out.

"Stop what?"

"Stop trying to get me."

"Because… because I got sick of the games, Isabelle. I don't want to play anymore." I felt a pang of hurt and couldn't help wince.

"But you said… you said you loved me?" This time it was Josh who recoiled.

"And you did you ever tell me you loved me? No. Isabelle, I have had enough. I don't want to fight for you anymore. I want to fight anyone. Just go."

"But… I thought… you said… loved me?" I wasn't sure if I was crying but I didn't even care.

"Isabelle, I don't want to do this anymore. You hurt me. I can't do this. Not again. Please, just leave. I don't want this."

"I…" I didn't know what to say. It was the end. Josh had always threatened that he would give up. And now he had. "I am sorry," I whispered.

"I know. You are always sorry," Josh answered. "Good bye Isabelle." He turned but I stopped him. I grabbed his hand lightly and said,

"Wait." He turned slowly. "What… what about our project?" I was clinging to straws now, I knew it.

"We will finish it and hand it in. The end." Then he shut the door in my face and I heard the music being turned up.

I found myself running. Running from Josh. His house that was so neat and tidy. His brother that gave me angry looks. His perfect face and body. The way he made me feel – bad or good. The way he touched me. The way he kissed me. The sound of his voice. The way he had always been in my life. Just hovering. And the way he had just suddenly stopped being there. I jammed my iPod into my ears, choosing a song by _Muse_ and turning it up. I kept turning it up. I wanted to block out everything. The sound of trees rustling or birds chirping. Cars going by or voices floating around. But most of all I wanted to get rid of my own foot falls. Maybe because if I did that, I could get rid of my thoughts. His face. The voices in my head telling me the wrong things. The wrong things all along. And it was my own fault I didn't have Josh. I could have. I could have had him in Year 7. Or at any time. But I was stupid. I didn't know or realise. How long had I loved him? How long was I stupid enough to ignore it? Even when my whole body screamed, _I want you_, my head had to think something stupid. The guitar blasted in my head next to the pounding of my heart and the blood beating in my ears. I concentrated on the guitars and drums until the rhythm became almost non-existent and only the cords of the guitars sounded. And it was soothing. The blaring, loud, boisterous music was soothing. Maybe because everything else let me think, and I didn't want to think. And I wanted to stop thinking about him. I didn't want to think at all. I just wanted to be numb. Because not thinking was better. Better than this anyway. The lyrics finally began to make sense in my head. Piecing together to form some resemblance of a meaning.

_I won't stand in your way  
Let your hatred grow  
And she'll scream  
And she'll shout  
And she'll pray  
And she had a name  
Yeah, she had a name_

And I won't hold you back  
Let your anger rise  
And we'll fly  
And we'll fall  
And we'll burn  
No one will recall  
No one will recall

This is the last time I'll abandon you  
And this is the last time I'll forget you  
I wish I could

Look to the stars  
Let hope grow in your eyes  
And we'll love  
And we'll hate  
And we'll die  
All to no avail  
All to no avail

And words stood out to me. _Stand in your way. Hatred. Shout. Scream. Pray. Name. Hold you back. Anger. Fly. Fall. Burn. Recall. Last time. Abandon. Forget. Wish. Stars. Hope. Love. Hate. Die. Avail. _And this was us. This was Josh and I. And Josh had been right. It was passion. Love and hate are so close. They evoke the same kind of things. A want. A need. Something that was right, but wrong… something strong. Something real. I felt something cold and wet slide down my neck. A drop. Then another. It was raining. I hadn't even noticed. Clouds rumbled in and it became dark and desolate. Isolated and cold. I found a tree and positioned myself under it. But it didn't do much. I still got soaked. I slid down the trunk of the tree and held my knees close to my chest, rocking gently. I cradled myself and sobbed. I felt so stupid. I felt stupid for crying over Josh. And I hated myself. I hated myself for hating him. Because I did hate him. But this time I hated him for not being here. Before I had hated him for being around. Not anymore. And I hated him for making me feel this way. Guilty and depressed. I just couldn't get his face out of my head. His voice. And so I sat. Under a tree, wet, cold and crying my heart out. Alone.

Josh – Thursday

I came downstairs when Chris called me for dinner. Mum and Dad had gone out so it was just him and me. I sat at the table and began to eat silently.

"Dude, are you okay?" Chris asked.

"Fine," came my standard response.

"No, you're not."

"If that is what you believe then why ask me?"

"Because I am worried about you. Ever since that fight you have been totally depressed. All you do is sit in your room and listen to depressing emo music."

"I have a lot of homework."

"Don't give me that," Chris said suddenly angry. "It is Isabelle."

"How do you know that?"

"Jake told me. He is worried about you. So am I." Gee, thanks Jake. Just had to rat me out to my older brother, didn't you?

"Look, I am fine. I don't need your help."

"You do. You really need help."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it might be a good idea to go and see someone. Perhaps a counsellor."

"You think I am going crazy?"

"I think you are depressed."

"I'm not depressed. I am fine. In fact, I am going to a party tomorrow with Jake. See, I am fine."

"I don't know who you are trying to kid, but it isn't working."

"I will be fine. It has only been two days. I just need some time. I will be fine. I promise."

"What happened today?" Chris asked.

"What happened?" I played dumb.

"With Isabelle." I couldn't help flinching at the name.

"She was asking about the project."

"I'm not an idiot. When I let her in, she sounded desperate. Really desperate. Did you blow her off?" I felt anger swell inside me and I dropped my knife and fork.

"I did not blow her off, okay. She blew me off. And not once, not twice, not three times, not four, but five. Five times she pretended she liked me and she knocked me away. Five times she said she wanted me and five times she shoved it in my face by kissing Finn. Five times she messed with my mind and teased me. Five times she kissed me and left me hanging. Whatever I did, she deserved."

"You done?" Chris said calmly. I was breathing hard and my fists were clenched. I wanted Issy so bad. I needed her kiss, her touch. I wanted her to make me feel loved. I wanted to protect her and make her feel safe. I wanted her sarcastic comments. I wanted her sexy body and silky voice. "So if you want her so bad, why did you blow her off?" Chris asked as if he had read my mind.

"Because I couldn't let her do it again. I couldn't take it again if she used me and threw me away. I don't want to feel like this."

"I understand mate, but you have to make a choice. You tell her you want her and wait for an honest response. But you have to be ready to be rejected. Or you just tell her you don't want her and get over her. Move on."

"I don't know." I didn't feel like eating anymore. I pushed my plate away and stood. "I'm going to bed."

"It is only seven."

"Oh? Well then, I will lie uselessly in bed for a few hours and wait until I fall asleep." I walked to my room, slamming the door. I turned on some music and twisted the volume up. An electric guitar began to spew out long chords and a few bars in drums joined the rampage creating a frantic song. Then the singer began, throwing in lyrics that didn't make much sense in my head.

Should I do what Chris said? Ask her if she loved me one more time and be ready for rejection? I knew she was going to be at the party tomorrow. But so would Finn. Should I? Should I give it one more go? But could I handle it if she rejected me again?

As hung up on Isabelle as I was, I still couldn't stop thinking about her. In the end, I gave up. I surrendered myself to those stupid fantasies of me with her. Holding her. Kissing her. Her face. Her eyes. Her skin. Her hair. Her laugh. Her smile. The one I hadn't been able to see today through the tears.

Frustrated with myself I found myself reaching for my school bag, pulling out my Macbeth text and opening it to a random page. I read the first line I saw. I'm not entirely sure what I was trying to achieve with this exercise exactly. Maybe it was thinking about Issy without actually thinking about her. If that made any sense at all. I don't know.

The last line on the page read,

"False face must hide what the false heart doth know."

I gripped the pages with more force than I meant and felt the paper crinkle beneath my fingers. Did the world hate me? Was there some sort of force out there to get me?

The irony was brilliant. Brilliantly painful. As if I needed a Shakespeare quote to remind me how much I've screwed up. Over and over. From the beginning to now.

I threw the stupid book at my wall. It left a black mark against the cream paint. Another imperfection to add to my imperfect room. My mum would hate it.

Without conscience thought I wondered what Isabelle would think. Damn it! I felt like hitting myself.

Who cared what Isabelle thought of my room?

Then the realisation hit me.

I did.

I really did.

And the worst thing was that I knew it.


	15. Chapter 15

15

**15**

**Finn – Friday **

"You should be grounded," my dad was muttering.

"But I said I was going. I told them two weeks ago. I promised Ethan," I told him. Okay. So that wasn't really true. But Kayla had used it a million times and it always worked.

"Fine," he said grudgingly. "But only if I take you."

"Dad," I groaned.

"It is that or nothing," he said sternly.

"Fine," I grumbled and walked upstairs to grab my jacket. He was way too controlling. But still, I guess I was lucky I got to go at all. And so Dad drove me to pick up Issy. I walked to her front door and knocked, hoping she was ready. Dad was always impatient. When she opened the door, my mouth dropped. She looked amazing. Isabelle wore tight jeans, showing off her gorgeous hips, and an even tighter top, a light green, embellishing her soft skin and beautiful dark hair. She just smiled and asked,

"How do I look?" I replied my grabbing her and kissing her on the mouth, with tongue. She giggled when we came up and let me guide her to my Dad's car. When we got to the party, we stepped out of the car and onto the front lawn, making our way to the front door slowly. I put my arm around Issy and opened the front door to the house.

"Let me get you a drink," I said.

"Sure, but no alcohol."

"Sure," I told her and moved away. I made my way to the kitchen. It was little quieter back here. And I happened to find Stef and Martin all over each other. I had to laugh. Martin saw me and pried his head away from Stef.

"Mate!" he said loudly and slapped my hand. He was drunk. And, from the looks of it, so was Stef. I laughed again. "Is Isabelle here?"

"Yeah, I was just getting her a drink."

"Issy!" Stef squealed and made a beeline for the lounge room where I could see Issy standing, looking slightly bored.

"So," I said to Martin. "You got the girl."

"So did you," Martin said with a wink. I laughed.

"Yeah, I guess I did." I was surprisingly happy. Happier than I had been all week.

"And…" Martin said pointing towards a small alcove outside. I looked out the window and say Hayley sitting on Ethan's lap, drinking from the same bottle of what I thought was a Vodka Cruiser. And for the millionth time that night, I laughed. "But…" Martin said in a warning tone. "Look." This time he pointed towards the TV room. And I froze. Josh. What was he doing here? I needed to keep Issy away from him. If she saw him she would freak out. I knew it. So I grabbed some punch, and slipped a little vodka into it. Just to make her loosen up. Then I took a beer from the fridge and made my way back to her.

**Isabelle – Friday **

"Hey, Is!" I heard a voice call. It was Stef. She flung her arms around me and I could smell the sweet scent of a UDL on her breath. "Having fun?"

"This will be a long night," I said more to myself more than anyone. I was sick of this. Sick of everything. Sick of wanting Josh. Sick of kissing Finn. And now I had to go to this stupid party with Finn and watch people get pissed and throw up. I didn't even know who was hosting the party.

"Here," Finn pushed a drink in my hand. I took a sip and could easily taste the vile flavour of vodka. I should have been angry at Finn for spiking my drink. But I decided I didn't care. I skulled the drink quickly and pushed my way through the crowd to get another. "Whoa, slow down, girl," Finn said grabbing my arm. I shook him off and pushed harder. "Hey! What is going on?" Finn called. I ignored him. I reached the drinks tabled and poured myself a glass full of vodka. Personally I hated vodka. It tasted like you were drinking Metho and had the consistency of petrol. But I put the glass to my lips and the clear liquid slid over my tongue and down my throat. It burnt for a second but felt surprisingly good. Almost like kissing Josh. I grabbed for the bottle again, but Finn's hand took it from me. "No more," he said sternly. "You have already had about six standard drinks just from that glass."

"And a few from before," I said annoyed.

"I just wanted you too loosen up and enjoy the party," Finn said.

"More like loosen my pants," I snarled.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing." I gave him a glare, longing to feel the heat of the drink over my tongue. Like when Josh kissed me. Although he tasted much better.

"Fine," I said and moved away from him quickly ducked and weaved through the crowd. I made circles around until I was sure I had lost Finn. I went back to the drinks table and found the vodka bottle almost empty. I took a swig. Then another. By the third I put the bottle down. This could be dangerous. I wasn't exactly an experienced drinker and I had drunk those last few very quickly. How long would it take to kick in? I took a step forward and my head spun a little. Not long apparently.

"Issy?" I heard Finn call. I looked for him through the crowd but the room looked like it was spinning. I felt hands around my waist as they steaded me. "What are you doing? This isn't like you, Is."

"I… I…" I shrugged. The words didn't quite form in my brain properly. Then I threw my arms around Finn's neck. "Dance with me," I shouted. Finn supported me and I giggled. He frowned slightly and sighed.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Is there something wrong? With Josh? I haven't seen him much lately. And sure, I knew he skipped a class here and there, but I haven't seen him in ages. Do you know what is up?"

"Josh?" I echoed. The name sounded strange when I said it. As if in this setting it shouldn't be uttered. Something that should be left in my memories and dreams. At night when I cried. "Josh?" I said again. It still sounded wrong. Wrong in Finn's arms. In this room. On my tipsy lips. With so many people and loud music.

"Yeah, is he okay?"

"I haven't seen him… oh… wait…" My words were slightly slurred. It was kind of funny. "I saw him yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Finn looked surprised. "When?"

"After school," I said with a tilt of my head.

"What were you… what happened?" Finn looked jealous. Ha. Funny. He should be.

"I talked to him," I said.

"Talked? About what?"

"I…" I struggled to remember for a second. Then it came back. Chris. And Josh. Josh looking hot. And he… what did he say? He said he didn't what to play games anymore. He said he didn't want to fight for me anymore. And I remembered siting under the tree crying. How pathetic. I giggled. I am so pathetic. "He said he wouldn't fight anymore."

"Fight? With who?"

"Anyone," I shrugged. "You want to go upstairs?"

"No," Finn said sternly. I gave him a confused look. "Not like this."

"I am fine," I said and stumbled. I laughed as Finn caught me.

"Let's sit somewhere," Finn said. He steered me towards a couch and I flopped down. Finn sat beside me. I leaned on him, face close to his.

"Why do you like me?" I asked.

"Issy," Finn sighed. "Why are you doing this?"

"What?"

"This," Finn said sweeping his hands around me. "You are usually so much fun. Not drunk and stupid. Why are you doing this?"

"Because I hate thinking," I said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Thinking. It is really annoying. It makes you feel guilty and stupid. Makes you hate yourself. I like not thinking. Because then I don't think about Josh. And I don't like thinking about Josh." Words just flowed out.

"Issy," Finn sighed, shaking his head.

"Why are you being so boring?" I said with a grin. Then I pashed him. I tried to make it like Josh's kisses, but it wasn't the same. Something was wrong. I am not sure what it was, but it was wrong. I puzzled, trying to work it out, but Finn pushed me off.

"Isabelle, you are drunk."

"So?" I said and tried to kiss him again. But he was stronger than me and held me away. I gave him a sulky look and slumped into the couch. Finn ran a hand through his hair. And I knew what was wrong with his kisses. He didn't want me. Not the way Josh wanted me. Josh _really_ wanted me. All of me. His kisses were strong, hot and passionate – like he wanted more, but wouldn't do it. Finn didn't understand me. He didn't know what I wanted. He didn't get it. He didn't understand. And he never would.

The night kept going. Things rushing around me. Drinks in hand, down my throat. Finn hovering. A few kisses. Laughing. Lots of laughing. Rachael was there. And Stef and Kiara. I swear I saw Stef kissing Martin. And Kiara kissing everyone. Every thing became a blur. Fuzzy and hazy. Things that didn't make sense in my head. Things that had no logic. Music and shouting. People calling my name and other's. Something smashed, and there was yelling. And cigarette smoke. And other foul smelling smoke from a bong. And people. So many people. But not Josh. Because he wasn't like me. He wasn't a fake. A tease. A cheat. He was stupid though. Stupid for loving me. Because I was… what was I? Fake. I was fake. And I didn't know what I wanted. Or how to get it. And I screwed up everything. All the time. I was a screw up. I _was _screwed up. The night kept going. Sometimes at a high speed and sometimes in slow motion. But there were more drinks and more kissing and stairs. Holding Finn's hand as he pulled away. And me in a top bedroom. Alone. It was quieter. And I could think. And I didn't like it. Thinking was bad. And Josh's face flipped around in my mind. And his scent filled me. And I thought of his kiss, his rough touch. And I felt tired. Worn out. So I lay down. Closing my eyes for a second, while Josh's face flashed into my mind. And I took slow deep breaths, until I passed out.

Josh – Friday

I pushed my way through the party, looking for her. Or any sign of her. Nothing. Where was she? I asked a few friends but they said they didn't know, their speech slurred and steps wobbly.

"What are you doing here?" I heard a voice growl behind me. I spun.

"I was actually looking for Isabelle. Have any idea where she could be, Finn?"

"As if I would tell you," Finn scoffed.

"I doubt you even know where she is," I said angrily.

"Actually, I am surprised you don't know where she is since you seem to watch her all the time," Finn said grinding his teeth.

"I want to make sure you don't do anything to her."

"Ha," Finn laughed. "She has been the one doing things to _me."_

"You wish," I grumbled. But it was with a false confidence. Had Isabelle really done… something with Finn? Would she have done that?

"I don't have too. She is my _girlfriend._ Not yours. You are the only one who is wishing."

"All you care about is sex!"

"Just get over it, Josh. She didn't want you. She doesn't. Stop embarrassing yourself."

"Do you even love her at all? Because I love her. I want more than sex."

"I thought you hated her?" Finn said.

"That's not true," I muttered.

"Yeah, well, this 'love' you seem to have for her is easily switched on and off now isn't it?" Finn said. I could feel my hands shaking with anger.

"You know I love her," I said slowly.

"Yeah right," Finn said sarcastically.

"All you want is a piece of ass," I said loudly. Finn's face became straight and he said,

"That is crap. You know I like her."

"But not love her!" And that was when the screaming began. I could smell smoke and hear a slight crackling. What the hell was going on? A fire? How had a fire been started?

"Fire!" someone screamed. I looked at Finn and he shrugged.

"Where is Isabelle?" I asked.

"Fire! Upstairs!" someone yelled as they flew down the stairs. I could taste the smoke now. It was filling up my throat. I flicked up my phone from my pocket as I was herded down the stairs with the rest of the crowd.

"Hello?" I said after dialling 000. "Yes, there is a fire, at 19 Lake St, Eltham. Yes, yes." Then the phone dropped out. I groaned as I left through the front door. As soon as I got on the front lawn I could see the fire. The windows in the front of the house on the second level were blazing. The crowd moved further away from the house, but stayed on the front lawn. Finn was a few people away from me.

"Where is Issy?" I shouted over all the commotion.

"The last time I saw her she was in the bedroom on the top floor," he answered.

"Did she get out?" I yelled.

"I don't know?" Finn yelled back.

"You're her boyfriend! You should know!"

"You think I don't care? You think I'm not worried?"

"Could have fooled me," I said angrily as I turned my back on him. I began to search the crowd, calling out Issy's name. Then I heard a familiar voice.

"Josh." It was Rachael. "She was upstairs. In the master bedroom. She passed out. I tried to carry her out… but I wasn't strong enough and no one would help. And everyone was yelling and screaming, panicking. I didn't know what to do." Rachael was sobbing hysterically. I gulped down a breath. Where were the fire trucks?

"It will be fine," I told Rachael. Then I left to find Finn again. I found him quickly and twisted him to face me.

"Issy is upstairs, passed out. The fire guys will be here soon, but just so you know, I am going in," I told him. Finn gaped at me.

"Don't be stupid. The fire guys will be here soon. Just wait," he said. And even though I knew this was the rational answer, I couldn't just wait.

"Sorry, I am going," I said.

"I know you love her but this is stupid, you will just get hurt."

"And if she dies? How would I live with myself," I told him and bounded towards the house. As soon as I opened the front door the smoke overwhelmed me. And the heat. It was amazing. Already I was sweating. I looked around for something to cover my mouth. Nothing. Quickly I ripped off my t-shirt and wrapped it around my mouth and nose. I tried to see through the smoke but it was useless. My eyes were burning and I could taste the smoke in my throat. The noise was terrible. A rumbling, crackling roar. I took a few steps forward and found the stairs. I jumped up two at a time. I stumbled a few times but kept going. The smoke got thicker and I found myself coughing. My eyes were stinging and watering like crazy. I walked forward, hands out and found a wall. The walls were hot. This was so not good. The heat was awesome. I couldn't believe anything could get this hot. I ran my hands along the wall, to use as a guide, as I searched for a doorknob. I found one. As soon as I touched the metal it scorched my skin. I pulled back, hand tense. I ignored the pain and tried to take a breath. All I got was a lung full of smoke. I reached for the door handle again and spun it quickly. With a yell I opened the door. But I still couldn't see. I had an idea. I pulled my phone from my pocket and fumbled to get it open. I could see the faint light and I brought it close to my face. I searched for Issy's number and pressed call. I listened through the roar for the faint sounds of a ring tone. Nothing. I called out Issy's name, but it was nothing more than a choked cough. I left the room. I found another door, burning my other hand to get in. I pressed call on my phone again. This time I heard and soft voice of the lead singer from _Metric_. My heart leapt. I dropped to the floor, grappling for anything. I found a body. I wasn't sure if it was Issy. Between the smoke, heat and noise all my senses were down. It was good enough. I picked up the limp body and held it in a baby cradle. My hands were stinging and my eyes were burning. I was sweating and the heat was so intense I was sure that I was burnt just from being in the house. And I was finding it hard to breathe. I wasn't sure where the fire was in the house; all I knew was that I had to get out. Now.

I followed the same path I had taken in and almost fell down the stairs. Catching myself I took a tentative step forward, to get my bearings. That was when I noticed the fire licking up the left side of the railings. Shit. The stairs were burning up. I could see the way they sagged. How the hell was I supposed to get down? Was there another way? The windows were too high up and these were the only stairs. Suddenly the heat intensified. I turned to see the fire, not only on the left side of the stairs, but in the hall behind me, cutting off the top of the stairs. Shit. Shit. Shit! I took another look at the stairs before me. The fire was eating them up at an incredible speed. I took another step down and watched as the barrister groaned and fell, spreading the fire to the steps before me. Oh shit. Now I was screwed. The only way to get down was through fire. Fine. I can do this. And with a small step back, gripping the body I was holding, I ran. Straight through the fire and when I was near the bottom I jumped. To where or onto what I don't know. As I landed on something, hard and hot, I felt my ankle give way beneath me. I crashed to the floor, but I held on to the body the whole time. I picked myself up and moved forward. Then I saw something that made me cry.

The front door.

I hobbled the last few steps out of the doorway and onto the grass. I kept limping my way out until I collapsed onto the grass, the body in my hands. My eyes were still watering and my throat was burning. My hands were stinging and I could feel the welts forming already. But I was outside, in fresh air. Away from the fire and the heat. I felt hands touch me. Pat down my legs and remove the t-shirt around my head. I took a gulp of air. And another. I was still blinded but at least I could breathe.

"Issy?" I said hoarsely.

"You did it," I heard a voice say. It was Finn's. "You saved her." And then, I passed out.


	16. Chapter 16

The Fire The Fire 16 Finn – Friday

Without a thought I checked to see if Josh was still breathing. He was, but his breaths were slow and raspy. I could tell he had burnt his throat. Where the hell were the firemen?

"Hey!" I yelled. "Someone call an ambulance." I saw Stef saunter over and stare at Issy's limp figure.

"Oh my god," she said through streaming tears.

"Stef!" I yelled at her. She looked up at me and I could see the fear on her face. "Call an ambulance." She didn't respond. "Now!" I yelled. She finally nodded and took out her mobile phone. I placed Josh in the lateral position and put my jacket under his head to support it. I could see he had broken something in his leg, and his hands were burnt almost to the bone. Not to mention the blistering that was just beginning on his chest and back. It was sickening. His hair was singed and I could smell burnt flesh. He was lucky to be wearing jeans or his legs would have suffered too. I yelled at Jake, who was standing near-by, looking stunned. "Jake, get that hose over there and water down Josh's chest, back and hands. But don't spray his face." Jake took a moment to take in what I had said, and then ran to where I was pointing. I moved on to Issy. I also moved Issy into the lateral position, supporting her head in a pistol grip. I checked her airway – all clear – and then checked if she was breathing. I called her name as I did. She wasn't responding but she was still breathing, even if they were only faint, dangerous breaths. She needed oxygen. If I were at the surf club it would be too easy. But the firemen weren't even here yet. Jake had begun squirting a gentle flow of water onto Josh's chest and back, but it didn't look good. Blisters were still appearing, angry and red. There was a loud crack and I looked up from the lawn I was sitting on. The roof was collapsing. It cracked again, and then in a fiery blaze the top floor fell in on its self.

That was when I heard the sirens. Loud, rude and obnoxious. Finally. It was the fire truck. Efficiently and quickly the men in huge yellow suits jumped off the truck and ran to the crowd. Five or six men began hustling the party kids away and another five began hosing down the surrounding areas of the house, stopping the fire from spreading.

"Help!" I yelled. One of the firemen ran to me and crouched down. He quickly assessed the situation and began shouting out orders. Another two men came to me and took over. Another man shooed Jake, me and others who were watching, away. And that was when I took a deep breath. Smoke was in the air but it felt good to breathe. Josh was such an idiot. How could he have done something so stupid like that? I was really angry with him. But what if he had waited like I told him too? The firemen took too long. No doubt, Issy would have been dead. Crushed and burnt to death by the angry house. Josh had saved her.

It was a long process that night. Issy and Josh were taken away in blaring ambulances. Policemen took statements. Some people were treated for smoke inhalation, others for shock. I heard one of the firemen talking angrily about Josh.

"The kid ran into the house to save his girlfriend. Now the _hero_ is in hospital with 3rd degree burns," he said. The way he said hero was with total scorn and it made me angry. I was tempted to say that Josh had saved Issy, but thought better of it. He was probably right. That was how people got hurt. Wanting to be the hero. But the thing was, I knew Josh didn't want to be the hero. He just loved Issy. And that was when I realised that Josh really did love Issy. He fought with her, and they hated each other, but they loved each other too. It was so stupid. And as much as I wanted Issy. Josh wanted her more. And I think Issy wanted him too.

Parents were called and the whole night was full of fussing and worries. Josh and Issy's parents went straight to the hospital and I didn't get any word from anyone that night. When I had talked to the police and firemen, and been checked by the ambos I was cleared to go home. Mum was freaking out, Dad just looked pissed off. I didn't tell them that the two kids who had to go the hospital were my friends. I couldn't deal with that at that moment. And I didn't tell them that I was the one who looked after Issy and Josh with my surf lifesaving training. One of the ambos said I had been quick to act and handled the situation the best I could have under the circumstances. He even asked if I thought about becoming a paramedic. And the thing was, I did think about it. It would be great to help people like that every day. It might actually be something I am interested in.

When I got home, I ate something, had a shower and went to sleep. I slept for most of the day, only waking up at three in the afternoon. No one was home apparently. Gee, I am glad no one was worried about me. I ate something quickly, showered and found some clothes that were a) clean and b) didn't smell of smoke. And then I caught the first bus to the hospital. When I entered the front door, the place was smothering. Huge, white and so clean. In front of me were two cafés and a whole lot of people. I found a board of where to find things near a set of lifts. I still wasn't sure where I had to go to I just got in the first lift that came. When I entered the lift, I was met by a familiar face. It was Issy's mum. She saw me and her face lit up.

"Finn," she said with a smile. "It is so good to see you." I think she would have hugged me if not for the three coffees she was carrying. "You here to see Issy?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered. "And Josh too, if I can."

"Well." Her face dropped. "Josh is in Intensive Care at the moment and no one but family is allowed to see him. But Issy is doing great. She only suffered smoke inhalation and a few burns on her arms due to the heat. She was lucky she was so far from the where the fire was started. And even luckier that Josh saved her. If it weren't for him, she would be dead."

"Yeah," I said slowly. "I know." He risked his own life for her while I waited for the firemen to come. Gee, I am _great_ in an emergency where my girlfriend could possibly be killed. Yeah, right. I had to wait for the guy she was cheating on me with to save her. I am such a screw up.

"Here," Issy's mum said nicely, pulling me away from my own destructive thoughts. "I will take you to her ward. They think she will be right to go home by tomorrow."

"Great," I said. I was lead though about a million and one corridors until we got to a large room. You know the ones that have about six beds and pull around curtains? That was where Issy was. I walked into the large room slightly wary. There were six beds around the walls, three on each side and a large window at the far wall. I spotted Issy immediately. She was in one of the far beds, staring out the window, with Cameron sitting in a chair reading a magazine and someone I assumed was an auntie or family friend. I walked to her slowly. When she heard my footsteps she turned. But I didn't get the usual smile from her. Her face that had a small smile on it, dropped and became one full of concern. And she looked strangely…. guilty. But other than that she looked pretty healthy, if not a little pale.

"Hi Isabelle," I said softly.

"I think we should leave these two alone for a moment," Issy's mum said. I was glad for it. So Cameron, the woman I hadn't seen before and Issy's mum all left and I found myself alone with Issy.

"Please tell me what happened," Isabelle said suddenly. I took a breath and moved to the side of her bed. I leaned over her and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. She didn't even seem to notice. "Everyone has given me shaded versions. All I know is that there was a fire. And that Josh is in ICU. Please tell me what happened. Have you seen Josh?"

"I am not allowed to see Josh," I said sitting in the chair Cameron previously had.

"Yeah, Mum said that," Issy said.

"Look," I said calmly, though not feeling it. "When I fire started, Josh and I were in the kitchen. We were fighting… well, about you." Issy smiled slightly at that. "Then before we even knew what was happening we were herded out of the house. People were shouting and screaming and it was a total mess. Josh was the only one with enough brains to even think about calling the fire department. When we got outside Josh began asking where you were. You should have seen the house. The front two windows were bright orange. It lit up the whole street. But everyone had gotten out. Which was really lucky. Everyone, except you." I took a breath before I continued. "Josh couldn't find you in the crowd. Neither could I. Then Rachael said that you had passed out in one of the upstairs bedrooms. She had tried to get you out, but she wasn't strong enough. Then," I paused for a second. "Then Josh told me he was going to go in after you. I told him not to be stupid and the fire guys would be here soon. Apparently that wasn't good enough for him, because he went in anyway. I am not really sure what happened in the house, but when Josh came out, he was carrying an unconscious you in his arms. He was shirtless because he had tied the shirt around his mouth and nose and I am pretty sure he had broken something in one of his legs. He was totally blind from the smoke. His hands were burnt almost to the bone and he had large burns appearing on his chest, arms and back. I got Jake to hose him down but it was a little late. And the fire guys still hadn't arrived. I got Stef to call and ambulance and I checked you were both breathing. Luckily you were. Then the top floor of the house collapsed. It was only after that did the fire truck and ambos arrive." I stopped to look at Isabelle. She was crying. I hadn't even noticed. "If he hadn't gone in after you… you would have died." Isabelle was crying even harder now. I stood and moved beside her bed taking her head in my hands and holding it to my chest. She hugged me around the waist and I rocked her as she cried. We didn't say anything. I just held her and kept kissing her hair while she cried. I don't know how long we were like that but Issy's mum returned with Cameron both looking stunned. Issy pulled away from me when she saw them and wiped her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me that Josh saved me?" she asked her mum angrily. Her mum looked at me with realisation and then sat on the end of her daughter's bed.

"I didn't want to stress you out," she said.

"Good one, genius," Cameron said to me sarcastically.

"Shut up," Isabelle told her brother. He grumbled something under his breath and found his seat.

"Maybe I should go," I suggested.

"That would be best," Issy's mum said.

"I don't want you to go," Issy said. Issy's mum sighed and said,

"Fine. I have to leave anyway and make dinner. You can keep her company." I nodded. Then her and Cameron said their good-byes and left. I sat on Cameron's chair again. As soon as Issy's family were gone she began,

"I really don't want to do this to you right now but-"

"You love Josh," I finished, stomach clenching as I said it. It had been the first time I had said it out loud and it hurt. But I had been wrong. Wrong about everything. Josh knew Issy better than anyone. He was always right on what she was thinking or feeling. He knew how she clicked. He understood her. And sure they clashed, but it seemed to be how they worked together. Sure, they were like gunpowder and fire, but have you ever noticed how amazing explosions are. And the fires can always be put out. But another thing with explosions is, they work. They clash to make something else.

"How… how did you know?" she asked.

"You always have," I said. "Even when I first moved here I could tell. You guys have loved each other for a long time. Whether you knew it or not. I mean, it only took a major emergency for you to finally realise it." Isabelle laughed and I smiled.

"Thanks," Isabelle said. I nodded.

"Who am I to stand in the way of true love?"

**Isabelle – Saturday**

I wasn't allowed to see Josh for a full week. And it was totally killing me, because I wanted to tell him that I loved him. I loved him. I loved Josh. I loved his boyish looks, thick, messy, black hair, his deep green eyes, his light freckles. I loved that he was massively tall. I loved the way we fought. I loved the way we hated each other. I loved the way he kissed me. I loved the way he held me. I loved the way his room was so tidy, but everything was slightly broken. I loved Josh. The weird kid who had asked me out in Year 7. The annoying guy in Year 9. The pain in the ass I hated in Year 10. The guy was forced to do an English project with in Year 11. The guy who had saved me from a burning house. I loved Josh.

When I finally was allowed to see Josh a nurse came to see me before I entered the ICU.

"Now, I must warn you that Josh is very medicated, so he will seem a little groggy or unlike himself. And also… his burns were fairly bad. He is covered but I think I should just warn you anyway. Sorry, what was your name?"

"Uh… Isabelle," I told her. Then her face became a smile.

"So you are the famed Isabelle," she said. I gave her a confused look. "You are one of the few things Josh ever says. He keeps asking for you. If you were okay?" I smiled and couldn't help letting a few tears go. The nurse smiled and asked, "Ready?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Let's go." The nurse pushed open the swinging doors and I followed her. She led me past a few beds with people who looked awful, beeping machines and nurses and charts hovering around. It worried me to think Josh would be like that. Then the nurse began to slow and took me to a separate room.

"We moved him to a separate room because of the burns. He needs the dressings changed everyday and it is a very slow and painful process," the nurse informed me. Then I saw him. My stomach lurched. Josh was propped up, eyes half open, face contorted in a look of pain. His whole chest, back, arms and shoulders were covered in bandages. His hair was shorter, almost a buzz cut, and his left leg was in plaster. He looked terrible. As soon as Josh saw the nurse he said, groggily,

"How is Isabelle?" My heart jumped as he said my name and more tears began to fall.

"She is here," the nurse said kindly. Josh's brow creased slightly and he opened his eyes wider, turning his head. When he saw me he smiled and I had to smile back. I wanted so much to hug him, but he was in so much pain. I began to cry even harder. I couldn't help it.

"Isabelle," Josh said softly. I moved close to the side of his bed, and reached out to touch his face. I placed a hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes at my touch and sighed.

"What did you do to yourself?" I said through tears. Josh opened his eyes, green iris' twinkling beneath the pain.

"I fell in love with you," he said with a smile. I laughed. "You are beautiful."

"And you are an idiot," I told him. "You shouldn't have gone in after me. Look at you. How could you have been so stupid? You could have killed yourself."

"You are beautiful," Josh repeated dreamily, totally ignoring my last comments. The tears were falling even harder now – if that was possible.

"I love you," I whispered softly.

"I know," Josh whispered back, with a smile. I laughed wiping away a few tears.

"I think I will just leave you two to it then," the nurse said. I had totally forgotten she was even there.

"Wait," I said. The nurse looked at me expectantly. "Can I kiss him?"

"Of course," the nurse said with a smile and swept out of the room. I watched her go, then turned back to Josh.

"You are finally going to kiss me _wilfully_," Josh joked with a grin. I leant down over him, careful not to touch any of the bandages, and gave a quick, soft kiss. When I pulled back, Josh's eyes were still closed and a smile played on his lips.

"You are the best pain killer there is," he said opening his eyes slowly. "Kiss me again." I was only too happy to oblige.

The next few weeks were slow and long. I stayed with Josh in almost all my spare time. Everyday I after school I would catch a bus to the hospital and stay from four till after nine. On the weekends I would stay with him all day. He was almost always awake because the doctors wanted him to develop a normal sleeping pattern. I got to know a few nurses and other patients. And I think I met just about every family member and family friend of Josh's. Friends from school came too. Rach, Stef and Ki came a couple of times. And Josh's mates too. When they visited I usually went to the hospital café. As much as Josh loved me I think he needed alone time with his friends. My mum got kind of angry that I spent so much time at the hospital, but after the first week she got over it. She even began driving me when she could. But I think she really just wanted to scope out my new boyfriend.

I usually brought homework (because I was rapidly falling behind) or a book or magazine. Sometimes Josh and I would talk (and yes, we still fought – all the time) but most of the time we didn't talk at all. We didn't need to. As long as I was there we didn't need to fill the time with useless conversation. We did that when Josh's family came to visit.

Finn came to visit a lot too. Him and Josh became good friends. They talked a lot. About everything. School friends, family, movies, music. Whatever it was, they would talk about it. I guess going through something like a fire and losing your girlfriend to a guy kind of brings you close. One day as he was leaving I had a word with him.

"Finn," I said taking his arm. "I just wanted you to know how grateful I am. Thank you for everything."

"Isabelle," Finn said squeezing my hand. "You and Josh are the weirdest and most annoying couple I have ever met. But you are totally all over each other. I just wonder why it took so long for you to get together." I had laughed and thanked him again.

One weekend Rach, Stef and Ki had come to the hospital to take me out to lunch. It was a nice gesture but I told them I would stay with Josh. This, of course, caused another fight. Josh said I should go, I said Josh would get lonely and bored. He said that, that was his problem not mine. Then we argued, then yelled, then I called him a jerk, he called me stubborn and annoying, then we had made out and decided I would go.

"I hope you two don't go through that process every time you need to chose the flavour of your soft drink at the movies," Kiara had said. So I had gone out to lunch with the girls. And I had enjoyed it. At about four I had made my way back to the hospital. I asked if anyone wanted to join me. Ki and Stef said they had other things, but Rach agreed. When I got back to Josh's room he was watching TV. I walked straight to him and gave him a long kiss. I could see the smile that he had on his face now that I was back. Then I had grabbed two chairs and sat down with Rach. I put my chair close to Josh's bed and Rachael's opposite me. Because Josh couldn't touch me with his hands, he had begun this thing where he would blow soothingly on the side of the neck. It felt so good. And as soon as I sat he had blown slowly on my neck. I could feel the hairs stand up and I couldn't help but tremble slightly.

"You two are the weirdest couple ever," Rach said looking from me to Josh. "You come back, make out with him, then sit down and don't even talk." I had just shrugged.

"That is what we do."

Over the weeks, Josh's pain had become less and less and he became more restless. As he slowly got better, I took to sitting on the edge of his bed. Then on the side. Then most afternoons I would lie beside him. There was one nurse who would always yell at me to get off, and I would. But as soon as she had left I would get back on and Josh and I would giggle and laugh like little kids. One afternoon I was laying beside Josh, his brother Chris and his girlfriend were visiting too, and he said this,

"Ever since and forever, I will love you." I looked at him, confused. It took a moment to realise what he was saying. Ever since the fire and forever, I will love you. I couldn't help myself, I had grabbed his head and pashed him. And after we had kissed, he blew softly on the side of my neck. I had shivered and kissed him again. Chris had just shook his head and said,

"You two are so weird." We had laughed. And then made out.

It was a few days before Josh was scheduled to go home when I came to the hospital after school. I walked into his room to see him out of bed, on crutches, in his normal clothes and Chris was packing up his things. I dropped my bag, it landing with a thud beside me.

"They sent me home early," Josh beamed. I smiled and ran to Josh, throwing my arms around his neck, kissing him. We had kissed for a good five minutes before we broke apart.

"Okay, you two," Chris said. "This place may be full of beds but it is a hospital." Josh and I had both laughed before helping Chris pack. When we had done packing, and we were about to leave Chris stopped us. "Look," he said, almost embarrassed. "I wasn't sure whether to give this to you now or on your wedding day. But I figure, just in case you break up, I will give it to you now." He had said it in a joking tone which had made Josh and I look at each other, before blushing slightly. Then Chris brought out a large square thing wrapped in brown coloured paper.

"I was wondering what that was," Josh said.

"It is for both of you," Chris said and placed it on the bed. I had a feeling I knew what it was. It looked a lot like a large frame. Josh leant over and pulled off some of the paper from the side. I followed suit, pulling it from the other side. When we had unwrapped it, both Josh and I stood in awe, mouths gaping. It was the most beautiful painting I had ever seen. The background was heaps of different shades of blue, painted in a way to make it look like blue flames. There was black surrounding the flames, the brush strokes uneven and gracious. In the centre of the blue were black words, in large curly old style print,

Ever since and forever, I will love you

Underneath the words was a tall black figure. He was limping slightly and held a smaller figure cradled in his arms. The figures were unrecognisable but they didn't need to be recognised. It was Josh, saving me from the fire.

"I had started with just the blue and the figures, but then I heard Josh say that thing to you and I added the words," Chris said. I couldn't even answer. I looked at Josh, who looked at me. I looked at his looming figure, perfect green eyes, black messy hair, light freckles and boyish smile. He leant down and tenderly blew on the side of my neck. I closed my eyes, letting my body quiver in response. Then Josh reached down and swept his lips over mine, our noses brushed and foreheads touched.

"Ever since and forever," Josh said to me.

"Ever since and forever," I repeated. Then we kissed. Soft a first, then with more intensity and desire. When we pulled apart, Josh rubbed his nose up and down mine before smiling at me, green eyes twinkling. We stood there for a long time. I am not sure how long, but it was a long time.

"Whoa," I heard Chris say. "That was totally weird. I didn't know my painting would make you react like that." Josh looked at Chris and said,

"Mate, this is the best present anyone has ever given me."

"I thought it would be better than flowers," Chris shrugged. He was being modest but I could tell he was beaming.

"Chris, this is beautiful. Thank you," I said. I could feel tears begin to fall. Chris smiled.

"There is a message on the back too," Chris said. I flipped the painting and tore off the rest of the wrapping paper. In hasty scrawl on the back of the canvas read,

_Dear Josh and Isabelle,_

_The unexplained couple. _

_Because they don't need an explanation. _

_Chris. _

Then Josh smiled at me and pecked me on the forehead before saying,

"Let's get out of here."

**Josh – Saturday**

"You are such a jerk!" Isabelle cried, throwing her hands in the air in frustration. She looked so hot when she was angry, her chocolate brown hair whipping around her face. Nine months since I got out of hospital and we still fought. I was pretty much healed, though I did have some good scars to brag about. My hands were the worst though. I still didn't even have much feeling in them. I mean, I could feel if someone touches me but I can't tell if things are hot or cold. You know how many times I have touched a hot pan or something and not even noticed? A lot. But the doctors said that the feeling will improve.

"Hey, I just said that I like your parents. And Cameron is pretty cool."

"That doesn't mean you practically tell then that we have had SEX. God, they are my family. My mother. Ryan. My BROTHER! And we were at a family dinner. You are so embarrassing. No, mortifying. You are mortifying."

"Firstly, all I did was allude to the fact we _might_ have had sex. I didn't actually say it. And secondly, we have had sex," I said huskily, making a grab for Isabelle. She darted from my reach and said,

"I am only seventeen, remember. Technically, I am not even legal yet."

"So what? We have been going out for ages. What did they expect?"

"Only a year. Not forever."

"Oh, please. A year is ages. And I love you remember. Or did your family want us to be married?" I said sarcastically.

"Probably!"

"Then let's do it. Let's get married."

"That has to be a joke. I am the good one in the family, remember? Cameron is the rebellious teen," Issy said angrily.

"Who said I didn't like good girls?" I made another grab for Isabelle and caught her arm, spinning her into my arms and holding her firmly. She struggled, but I was stronger.

"Why wouldn't you marry me?"

"Because we aren't even allowed to yet. We are both underage."

"I didn't mean now. But why couldn't we get married after school? Or even after Uni?"

"Married at eighteen. Disaster," Issy muttered and stopped struggling.

"Why? You think we would split?"

"What if we get sick of each other?"

"Issy, I saved you from a burning building and then had to suffer in hospital for months. Do you really think I did all of that just so I could dump you?"

"But things can change."

"Tell me," I said in a deep voice I knew would make Issy go weak at the knees. "Would this ever change?" I leant over and pressed my lips to hers. She kissed me for a moment before pulled away quickly.

"No, you don't," she said warningly. "You are not going to get me to marry you with a kiss."

"Why not? I have made you do other things with a kiss." I gave a grin.

"Not this time. I am not going to fall for that."

"But what if I did this?" I softly blew on the side of her neck then gently kissed the same spot. I felt Isabelle's body shiver and she let out a groan.

"No, no," she muttered as I continued to give her quick kisses on the neck. "This isn't fair," she groaned.

"So," I said between kisses. "Will you marry me?"

"Josh," Issy said slightly out of breath. "I can't make informed decisions with you sucking on my neck. It would be hasty, rash, unadvised and illogical."

"Most likely."

"This isn't fair," she said again. I moved back up to Issy's lips and slipped my tongue in her mouth. She pushed on me, but I still had her embraced in my arms. She pulled her head away and looked at me, cloudy blue eyes showing anger. "You can't just kiss me every time you want something, or want me to forgive you. You know what a sap I am."

"Duh," I said. Issy gave me a stern glare.

"I am not forgiving you for what you said at dinner."

"You still haven't answered my question," I said, ignoring her last comment.

"Because I am not taking it seriously."

"What if I got you a ring?"

"Mum and Ryan would kill me."

"Your point?"

"Josh," Issy said suddenly serious. "Marriage is a huge deal."

"I thought love was bigger."

"Josh. I am serious."

"So am I. I want to marry you. Sure, not now. Not even soon. But I will marry you."

"Perhaps," Issy said, angry again. "Only if I say yes. And you need Mum and Ryan's permission."

"I would marry you anyway. Although I would like my kids to know their grandparents."

"Josh, can you be serious for a second?"

"I _was_ serious when I asked you to marry me. And I will _seriously_ kiss you until you say yes."

"No-" But her retort was swallowed, because I was kissing her. She resisted for a moment, but then I felt her knees weaken and I kissed her harder. Too easy. She moved her hands from my shoulders and down my chest. I leant over and slowly pushed Issy onto her bed, lips still locked. When we were lying down I lifted my head. "Don't stop," she said weakly, eyes still closed.

"Firstly, we are in your house with your mum and Ryan down stairs so I am not about to go down on you right now. And secondly, I am not going to kiss you again until you answer my question. Will you marry me?"

"Josh," Issy moaned.

"Will you marry me?" I asked again and blew on her neck. I felt the muscles in her arms and abdomen clench and she released a long breath.

"Josh," she said more urgently.

"Will you marry me?"

"Josh!"

"Will you marry me?" I blew on her neck again and Issy's eyelids fluttered slightly. "Will you marry me?"

"Fine. I will marry you. Yes, I will marry you." Then I kissed her again. Her lips were warm and soft. I ran my hand through her silky hair and let my body sink into hers.

"Hey!" I heard Cameron's voice call. I leapt off Issy and stumbled to stand up. Issy sat up on her bed and gave her brother a quizzical look. I think she was a little giddy from my kiss. When you knew what Issy wanted it was too easy. I think she finally came to her senses because she also jumped of the bed and said in high voice,

"What do you want?"

"Mum made me check on you."

"For what?" Issy asked. I had a fair idea what. She didn't want the big bad boyfriend putting the moves on her daughter.

"In case you were having sex," Cameron shrugged leaning against the doorframe.

"She said that!" Issy squealed.

"No, but I knew that is why she sent me up here."

"Oh my God," Issy muttered. "I am so embarrassed."

"Oh please," Cameron said. "I am just glad you lost your virginity before me, being three years older and everything. I'll tell you Josh, for a while I was worried. Not that Issy isn't pretty, she is just a nerd. And could not seem to bag a boy."

"You do know I hate you Cameron," Issy said icily, eyes flashing something that probably resembled murder.

"But you probably shouldn't do it while Mum and Ryan are home. Mum almost flipped when you both came up here alone."

"Thanks for the warning," I said to Cameron before Issy lunged at him. I moved to him and walked out of the room shutting the door on Issy. "Err… sorry about that."

"It's fine," Cameron shrugged. "I'm a guy too. And it's not like I didn't expect it. Anyway, I like you. Finn was cool, but I like you better."

"Err… thanks." Over the last few months Finn had kind of become my friend so I didn't really know how to respond.

"But I swear, if you hurt Issy, I will kill you. Or at least injure you. I don't really want a murder on my hands."

"Umm…" It was kind of funny that Cameron was threatening me because he was about two feet shorter than me, but I had heard the venom in his voice. "I won't."

"You better not." I nodded uneasily. "Well," Cameron said calmly. "I am going back downstairs to tell Mum you weren't going at it, even though you almost were, and then to bed. Bye."

"Thanks, bye," I said as Cameron began walking down the stairs. From about half way down, as I was about to go back into Issy's room, Cameron called out softly,

"And you had better wait until Mum cools down a little before you ask for permission. Or even tell them you are engaged. Don't worry, she will come around. Just give it one or two decades." He gave a small laugh and continued down the stairs. I gulped and went back into Issy's room. Before I had even closed the door Issy had grabbed two handfuls of my shirt and pulled me into a kiss. I kicked the door shut behind me as she dragged me to the bed.

"Hey," I said to her in a ragged breath after pulling my face from hers. "I have to go home."

"Don't go," she mumbled and tried to kiss me again. I pulled myself from her and sat up. She sighed loudly to show her annoyance. I ignored it and swung my legs off the side of her single bed. "Will you come back?" she said seductively. Even though her voice was layered with silkiness, which really turned me on, I said,

"No. Your Mum and Ryan are jumpy already. Give them time."

"Are you kidding? You are going to leave me hanging?" Isabelle said sitting up. She moved her body close to me. I could feel her curves pushed against my back. She leaned over and kissed my neck, snaking her hands around my waist. "I just said I would marry you. You have to come back."

"No," I said removing her arms and turning to face her. "That is on the wedding night. And you aren't a virgin anyway."

"My God, Josh," Isabelle said suddenly annoyed. "That is so unfair."

"Hey, you will be the one in trouble if we get caught," I warned.

"So we don't get caught," Isabelle whispered in my ear and kissed me lightly. I stood, almost falling, and said,

"No." But she just stood, head tilted toward me and smiled suggestively. She brought a hand up and began to run it up my left leg towards my crutch. Obviously she was trying to evoke a certain reaction in me. And it was working.

"Don't even think about it," I growled, grabbing her arm. She just smiled and kissed my chest in the place where my striped dress shirt made a V. I had wanted to make a good impression on Issy's parents. Isabelle pressed her body against mine, teasing me. She was wearing a pair of conservative jeans and a nice constrictive top. And she just happened to feel the need to take that top off, to reveal and a very skimpy, educational, lacy black bra. My God, she looked hot. Really hot. Her luminescent skin almost sparkled under the dim light of her room and I could see all the curves of her belly, hips and breasts.

"For you," she said as she shimmed out of her top, showing off the bra.

"Why do you do this to me?" I groaned out of annoyance.

"Do what?" she said with a feinted innocence.

"Fine," I muttered, letting go of her hand. "I will come back. But put some clothes on so I can say goodbye to your parents."

"Okay," Issy said and slipped her top over her head with a grin on her face. I shook my head in disapproval.

"You know how annoying you are?"

"You were the one who proposed," Issy pointed out.

"Can I take it back?" I mumbled. Issy ignored me and went to her mirror to fix her hair. I watched her for a moment but my mind wandered, thinking of touching Isabelle in that bra, thinking of her kissing me, thinking of my hands on her breasts and in her hair. I could feel my body respond to these thoughts and I turned away.

"I will leave the back door open," Issy said turning to me and standing.

"You are so going to get us in trouble," I muttered and made sure all the buttons on my shirt were done up.

"Stop fretting, you can leave before my parents wake up."

"Sure, because that won't be hard," I said sarcastically.

"And I thought you were the laid back one."

"Issy," I said in a hushed whisper. I picked up a few items of clothing and found my left shoe. "Issy," I said more urgently. She stirred and opened her eyes.

"What time is it?" she asked sleepily.

"Almost seven."

"Seven. It is Saturday."

"So?" I couldn't find my shirt. Issy is a chick, isn't she meant to have a clean room? I can tell you, Issy's room looks like a tornado has whipped through. There are clothes, books, homework, paper with hasty writing or numbers, bags, wallets, money, CDs, computer stuff, pens, pencils and whatever other rubbish you would usually find at a tip.

"So that is way to early. Come back to bed."

"No. I have to go. Where is my shirt?"

"Over here," Issy said pointing to the other side of the bed. I reached over her and she ran a hand over my bare chest.

"Don't even think about it." I pulled away and slipped the shirt over my head. Issy sat up in the bed and picked up one of her own shirts from the floor before pulling it over her own head.

"I wasn't," Issy denied.

"Yeah, right. I have to go. So I will see you today, at lunch."

"Lunch?"

"Yeah, we were going out with my family, remember? My brother and his girlfriend had an announcement. I bet you they are engaged."

"Oh crap. I totally forgot."

"I thought it was the husbands that were meant to forget the dinner dates."

"I am not your wife yet."

"But you will be," I said and kissed Isabelle on the forehead.

"I can't believed you conned me into that," she muttered.

"I can. Well, I am going."

"I'll walk you down," Issy said and began putting clothes on.

"I think I can make it down you stairs by myself."

"I don't want to start a fight with you this early in the morning. We might wake someone."

"Just go back to bed," I said and left her room, shutting the door, quietly, in her face. She just opened the door and followed me. I gave up on fighting her. We got to the front door and I gave Isabelle a quick kiss goodbye. "Ever since and forever," I said.

"Ever since and forever."

Later – Sunday

Isabelle shifted slightly, putting her arms further around me. I could feel her small breaths on my skin as she rested her head on my chest. Her pregnant belly pressed against my side as she slept. Ten years since the fire. Nine since I asked Isabelle to marry me. Three years since she _actually_ married me. Seven months since she fell pregnant. Weird how things turn out. The doorbell rang. I cursed silently that Isabelle wouldn't wake. It was only three in the afternoon but Isabelle hardly slept at night anymore with the heat and she kept getting more tired and stressed every day. It wasn't good for the baby. Isabelle stirred and groggily said,

"Josh?" I blew softly on the side of her neck and said,

"Go back to sleep, Isabelle." She smiled and nodded. I slowly pulled myself out from under her and placed a sheet over her sleeping form. Then I crept quietly out of the room, making my way towards the door. When I opened it, Finn was standing in the doorway.

"Hey mate!" I said. "What the hell are you doing here?" I took him in a large hug. Finn was currently living in Sydney, with his fiancé and working as a paramedic. Even though after school, Finn had been moved again, he took a paramedics course and was now working full time, we had stayed friends. Isabelle had a change of plans, and had taken a psychology course. She now works – well, before she fell pregnant, she is on maternity leave – with the police in criminal investigations. She looks at their behaviour and stuff like that, making important studies and topical researches. All the stuff I don't understand. And, yeah, sure, I had done the science subjects in school, I had also changed my plans. I did the beginning of a few courses at uni, but nothing really suited me. Then, weirdly enough, I took an English course. That then led to English Lit. And then a teaching course. So yes, I became a teacher. And now _I_ give out the evil Macbeth projects. Ha ha.

"I was down to visit Taylor's family and thought I would come a see you," he said with a huge smile.

"Come in, Come in," I gushed. "But be quiet. Issy is sleeping."

"Sorry," Finn said. "I didn't wake her, did I?"

"No. So why didn't you call?" I asked happily.

"Thought I would surprise you." Finn had been my best mate ever since the fire. He was my best man at the wedding and I had already asked him to be the godfather of the baby.

"You want a beer?" I asked opening the fridge.

"Sure," Finn said. "So how is it living with a pregnant woman?"

"Even more annoying than usual," I sighed. "You know, last week, Issy woke up in the middle of the night and made me get her sour cream. Sour cream! And she ate the whole tub. But this week she seems hooked on Oreos. She eats all the time." Finn laughed and took a sip of his beer. "But, the worst is the heat. Issy hardly sleeps and she is really stressed out. It is kind of worrying me."

"You should get her to see someone."

"You don't think I have tried? We just end up-"

"Fighting about it. Let me guess. Issy says she is fine and you are just worried about nothing."

"Erm… yeah."

You two will never change," Finn said shaking his head.

"Josh?" I heard Issy's sleepy voice. "Who was at the door?" She waddled into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing her eyes. She was wearing a light blue dress that stretched over her huge belly and she had bare feet. I looked at her and felt a surge of pride. My God, she looked sexy. Then her eyes found Finn and her face cracked a huge smile. "Finn!" she almost squealed and took him in a hug.

"Don't you look just radiant, as usual," Finn said pulling away and looking Issy up and down. She smiled at him. "And very pregnant. How far are you now?"

"Seven months," Issy answered. "So, what are you doing here?"

"I was down to visit Taylor's family," he answered.

"What date is the wedding?" Issy asked.

"We don't know yet, but we're hoping to have it in October. Taylor wants to wear a dress without sleeves," Finn said shooting me a look.

"I know what you mean. Issy wanted her wedding in summer just so she could wear a lacy dress with… I don't what it is called… holey stuff…"

"Tulle," Issy said with a roll of her eyes. "And I wanted an outside wedding. And diamantes."

"Diamantes. Of course," I said with a sarcastic smile. "So you got diamantes, while I lost about ten kilos in sweat because I had to wear a black suit."

"You are such a drama queen. Hello? Am I not the one having your baby? I tell you now, Josh, it sure isn't all that easy carrying around another human being inside your belly for nine months. So yes, I think I deserved diamantes while you sweated it out in a suit."

"Fair point," I shrugged. "And you know I love you for it."

"You better," Issy said with a smile. "And you looked sexy in the suit. Even if your were sweaty." Finn laughed. I rolled my eyes.

"So, do you guys know what sex it is yet?" Finn asked, referring to Issy's generous belly.

"Boy," Issy answered.

"Got any names?" Finn asked. Issy and I both glared at each other and looked away.

"That has been a bit of a sore spot," I informed him.

"Really?" Finn said with a laugh.

"I want to call it Zachary," Issy said.

"But I like Julian."

"Julian is such a bible name," Issy groaned.

"No, it isn't," I protested. "It isn't even in the bible."

"Well, it sounds like it should be," Issy mumbled.

"But Zachary is such a bad boy name," I said.

"Why do think I like it?" Issy said.

"I wasn't a bad boy and you still married me." I took Isabelle into my arms, stretching out over her stomach.

"Well, you saved me from a burning house," Issy said with a smile. "So I didn't have a choice."

"And I thought you married me for love," I joked.

"Well, I do also love it how you drive down to the milk bar to get me Oreos at nine o'clock at night," Issy said with a smile. I moved close to her and leant down, kissing her softly.

"You guys will always be the same," Finn said moving to the couch. I brushed a lock of hair away from Issy's face and was immediately transported to the night in Issy's backyard. Throwing stones at her window like, well… like a love struck teen. I smiled at this thought and gave Issy and peck in the forehead before moving to the couch with Finn. I sat down, Issy next to me, head rested on my shoulder.

"You should go back to sleep," I told her.

"It's too late. I won't go back to sleep now," she said. I sighed to show my annoyance but she ignored me.

"What about Heath?" Finn suddenly said. "For a name, I mean."

"Where did that come from?" I asked him.

"It is the name of my work partner," Finn said. I looked at Issy and she smiled.

"I like Heath," she said.

"Me too," I answered and kissed her hair. "Ever since and forever." Then to Finn I said, "It seems you just named our baby, Finn." Finn beamed. We began to talk and soon I could hear Isabelle making her soft sleeping sounds. I looked to the painting on the far wall above the TV. Isabelle and I had both decided that if the house ever caught fire, the painting would be the only thing we would take. Because the painting meant so much to us. More than even our wedding photos. I could never thank Chris enough for the painting. But I think he knew how much it meant to both of us. It was a symbol of everything. The small black figures. Isabelle and I. I looked back to Isabelle. Her luminescent skin, which had become even more beautiful when she fell pregnant. She almost glowed. And her amazing blue eyes and chocolate brown hair, that hadn't changed since high school. I refused to let her dye it. I remembered back to the time she spent with me in the hospital after the fire. We didn't really talk about the fire. We didn't need to. I had saved her and she had realised she loved me. Enough said. I remembered the time in the counsellor's office. The way she had fainted into my arms. I realise now that she hadn't really wanted Finn that day. I had taken it all wrong. She had told me later that it was then she realised she wanted me! But when I had said I would leave Finn and her alone she had thought I had changed my mind. As if.

After a couple of hours of Finn and I talking, I asked him if he want to stay for dinner. He said he was going out with Taylor but would love to do it another night. After he had left I gently went to the couch and woke Isabelle, blowing softly on her neck.

"What do you want for dinner?" I asked her.

"Has Finn gone?" she asked groggily.

"Yeah, but he is coming for dinner tomorrow night with Taylor," I told her.

"Good," she said sleepily.

"Come on," I said to her. "We will get you into bed."

"Okay," she nodded getting up slowly. I steered her to the bedroom and put a light sheet over her.

"Ever since and forever," I whispered in her ear and stroked her hair.

"I love you," she said and fell asleep.


End file.
